chocolate, taboos, impossible choices, and tax - the present and possible futures of freelancers with caring roles?

Each October is the global Freelance Business Month – a coming together of freelancers from different countries to share encouragement, support, insight, and general building up of each other.

This year, I was invited to lead one of the sessions, to explore the ways in which freelancers from around the world who are also unpaid carers approach balancing the often-conflicting demands of these roles.

In the run up to it, the topic seemed to be drawing a lot of interest, based on responses, comments, and reshares to social media posts about it on different platforms; and, on the day, the number of windows in my zoom app from people joining only just all fitted onto my screen…

As part of the conversations, everyone agreed that it would be important to try and capture some of the stories shared, as an encouragement and support to our peers who are similarly juggling these roles and circumstances - which is what you're now reading in this blog post.

Caring around the world

We opened with a brief reflection on what unpaid caring and freelancing looks like in different countries. Based on my own researches over the last few years, we know that in the UK, unpaid carers who are also freelancers:

• Number in the region of approximately 500,000;
• Are twice as likely to be in poverty than their counterparts who are able to be in some form of salaried work, and that’s largely because we suffer a ‘caring penalty’ in the form of lost earnings of up to £20,000 each year because of our caring responsibilities;
• Were usually freelancing before gaining a caring responsibility, in contrast to popular belief;
• Aren’t recognised or offered any rights in law (as other carers are), and as a result have no caring or business services designed in recognition of their specific circumstances.

Others in the session shared a similar lack of recognition and support available in their respective countries. 

The stress is universal, unavoidable, and causes problems

Some talked about how the pressures and stresses of taking on and managing a caring role can mean that we may be more prone to making mistakes in how we manage our affairs as a freelancer - one person shared that the process of becoming a carer meant that they were so distracted during one of their annual filings of accounts, they are now paying more tax than they should be (and at a time when they are now also earning less because of the caring role).

This theme of enhanced stress was echoed by all, in wanting there to be a greater understanding and recognition of the psychological stresses and mental strains that becoming (and acting as) a carer places on us as freelancers. As one person shared in the chat: 

“It [being a carer] seems to be both an obligation and a choice. There is also the choice to NOT be a carer, but…”

Balancing it all 

We moved on to sharing some of the ways in which we’ve been approaching creating our own balances to keep our earnings as a freelancer continuing, with fulfilling the responsibilities of having a caring role (or in some instances as was shared, having multiple caring roles! One freelancer shared how they’re now the sole unpaid carer for multiple family members in their immediate household):

• Some have chosen to purposefully limit their earnings/avoid certain types of work and clients as part of trying to reduce the increased stress that being a carer brings;
• Some shared how they have identified and accessed counselling support for themselves as part of managing the stress, via memberships of professional freelancing bodies – but all agreed that we should all be trying to access this through other means where we may be able to, as part of trying to manage our personal well-being in this dual role;
• Some shared that despite having less earnings, they have reduced their personal disposable even more in order to pay for private health care plans so that they can better manage their own health needs around those of the people they care for, and in working as a freelancer.

We also talked about how there was a need for better education and understanding about the needs and circumstances of freelancers in our position – 

“if you’re not in the situation, you would never understand just how it feels and what you’re faced with having to manage”.

Which in turn, led to a consensus on the importance that as a community of freelancers we need to take opportunities where we can (and are able/comfortable to) to share our stories in breaking the taboos around unpaid caring as a freelancer, if we’re ever going to be better recognised and encouraged as such, (which includes finding encouragement in/from our peers).

This led to a lively discussion around if / how / when to disclose to our clients that we have a caring role.

'Coming out' as a carer

Nearly all present stated that they’d told at least one client they work with about their caring responsibilities, and that in the main, it strengthened the working relationship by that client then seeing them as subsequently being more authentic – and in our also disclosing this in ways that included examples of how we would mitigate the risk of this impacting on our work with them, that we’re seen as also being more trustworthy, too.

One freelancer shared a story of a how, after disclosing their caring role to a client, the client had stated that they wouldn’t be able to work with them after all, owing to the nature of how the wider programme that they were managing had been designed. However, the following week, the client returned to say that after reflecting with their own colleagues, they’d decided to redesign their programme so that the freelancer could be commissioned to support the delivery of it after all.

This was heard by all in the session as a massive encouragement as it showed:

• If we openly work with them, clients can better understand our circumstances and respond – but they'll probably have never before thought about this, until we forced them to;
• A validation for the value and worth of how that freelancer is viewed by their client.

Another unexpected outcome shared in the session by another freelancer after they ‘came out’ as a carer to a client, was that client suddenly being able to share their own caring story with someone who they knew would ‘get it’ – it built more points of connection with a fellow human being, and highlighted that it’s not just freelancers who struggle to be able to find ways to talk about the realities of being a carer in workplace settings.

What's good for freelancers who care is good for all of us (and vice versa)

Finally, we shared our ‘magic wish’ with each other – the one thing that we would like to see happen or change for freelancers who also having caring responsibilities:

• More chocolate to help us manage our stress;
• More understanding from clients and governments;
• Having some form of basic universal income;
• Bringing in an equality of access to benefits and supports that employees who are carers can access, but which we as freelancers who are also carers currently can’t;
• Changes to the tax systems as part of a wider recognition of financial supports freelancers need, owing to the displacement/loss of earnings that having a caring role forces.

Interestingly, many of these wishes are relevant (to lesser degrees) to all freelancers in all countries, regardless of them having an unpaid caring role or not – which suggests that any changes introduced to support freelancers with caring roles, would also be of benefit the wider freelancing community too (and vice versa).

And none of what was shared by people seemed to be specific to any one country – which suggests that our experiences are pretty universal, meaning that it would be easy to learn from and support each other more in progressing these.

 

Special thanks and recognition 

I'd like to thank those of you who were part of the conversation for your openness, honesty, and bravery in not only talking about your caring stories and experiences, but also for encouraging me to share this all on with the wider world.

I'd also like to recognise those who were there who shared that they're at the start of their own personal caring journey as an existing freelancer, for your proactiveness in seeking opportunities and ways that you can better support yourself and inform the choices you're starting to face (I wish I'd had your foresight when I started my own caring journey 7 years ago...)

And, my thanks again to the organisers of this years’ FBM for allowing me to host this space in it, and for also changing the format this year to a ‘free for all’ access – instead, asking for donations to support pancreatic cancer: https://ti.to/freelance/fbm24/with/freelance-business-month-donation

(if you didn’t already know, freelancing is one of the ‘life activities’ that puts us at an increased risk of developing cancer in the future! https://www.freelanceinformer.com/news/cancer-alert-40-of-cases-linked-to-lifestyle-freelancers-are-you-at-risk/)

 

how desperate unpaid carers really are...

Carers UK recently published research into how many unpaid carers are in poverty (spoiler: being a carer means you're x2 as likely to be in poverty than if you're not).

Despite being lauded by government and other agencies in recognition of the roughly £160 BILLION that we save the government EACH YEAR, there's still plenty of disgruntlement amongst us for the lack or recognition and support we receive in turn - for example: for those eligible to qualify to be able to apply for carers allowance (plot twist: despite having sole unpaid caring responsibilities for several family members in my immediate household, I'm only eligible to receive £6 each week), this only offers about £2 per hour that we can receive in recognition of the time we spend caring, which prevents for from being 'economically active' otherwise: earning money to support ourselves as others can. For comparison, the legal minimum wage we would have to be paid for any job, however menial, starts at £6.40 per hour.

The report by Carers UK digs into this topic in painful and shocking detail. And while others have done far better jobs that I in looking at the wider dimensions of how carers suffer inescapable poverty because of the nature of the role: https://numbereighteeninthecorner.blog/2024/09/19/carer-servitude/, - I'm focussing here on what this latest research tells us about how being an unpaid carer affects those of us who are also self-employed. 

Now, before we get into Carers UK's research, to 'set the scene' here, self-employment in general is:

• one of the worst things you can do for your mental well-being; 
• likely to mean you earn less for doing the same job than if you were salaried;
• worse than being employed for your long-term health.

And yet roughly 500,000 of us who are unpaid carers are choosing this way of working on top of being a carer, which in itself is recognised as being:

• highly stressful;
• leaves us socially isolated;
• bad for our mental well-being;
• roughly, up to £20,000 worse off EACH YEAR. 

So lets do the reveal: unpaid carers who are also self-employed are x2 more likely to be in poverty than their employed counterparts, who also have caring responsibilities (and to 'rub salt in the wound', we don't get the same legal recognition or protection as they do...) 

So why are so many of us pursuing this apparent nonsense of pushing ourselves even further 'over the edge' by 'doing' self-employment alongside our caring role, when all the evidence above says it's the worst thing anyone could do to themselves?

As Carers UK research highlights, nearly half of people who were salaried before becoming carers are forced to give up their jobs, because they find the two roles aren't compatible. 

The current rules on carers allowances (assuming you're eligible to be able to be apply for it, then and lucky enough to get it) means that you can't earn more than £151 a week. Combined with the max carers allowance of £81.90, this would mean you have a maximum income potential of roughly £12,000 a year to live (covering housing, food, utilities, clothing, etc). That's less than half of what's recognised as a person needing to earn in order to have a minimum acceptable standard of living. This means that many carers simply can't afford to apply for/live on carers allowance, and as previously highlighted, quite a lot of demands and requirements of being an employee are incompatible with being a carer.

Which means that short of picking the winning numbers on the lottery, or robbing a bank, the only other choice is either living in deep poverty or doing self-employment (although as the research shows, doing self-employment is no guarantee you won't escape the poverty trap).

And I've also heard of some of my contemporaries in this space who've openly shared that taking on this most stressful of all employments was the best way they could find to help them find a counter-balance to the stresses and responsibilities of being a carer. Which takes us back to the earlier point of how tough being a carer is - but how tough must it be, for the most stressful of all employments to be seen as a type of respite from it?  

So for anyone out there who's also a carer as well as being self-employed: I hope you take some comfort from this post, in it offering you a recognition of how tough life really is for you. And for anyone who isn't: I hope you can use some of the feelings that this post has (hopefully) stirred up in you to act in support for carers of all types. 

how better support for carers could instantly see growth in 20% of businesses across the economy

I've written in the past about how unpaid carers are usually invisible and overlooked, and that for those of us who are also self-employed, we're even more so, because we're not even recognised in law (unlike our counterparts who may be in salaried employment, and despite there being an equal likelihood that if you are able to work while also an unpaid carer, you'll be doing it in this way).

I've also shared the statistics about how this lack of support for those of us who are (trying to) trade and maintain caring roles, means that 'UK plc' is at least £5billion a year worse off than it might otherwise be.

But I've recently also started to have conversations with some different local business support bodies', and start-up programme, managers who are beginning to recognise that they perhaps aren't doing anything/enough to consider the design of their offers and encouragements with regards to the circumstances and realities of people with caring responsibilities.

This came to the fore for me recently, as part of an event organised by the Collective Leadership Group, who'd invited me to showcase some of my research and efforts around the realities of being an unpaid carers and an entrepreneur.

As part of this event, Hatch Enterprise shared the findings of a recent study that they'd undertaken into the experiences and barriers people face in relation to the concept and idea of entrepreneurship. One of their question prompts from their surveys in this was about barriers entrepreneurs were experiencing that were hindering and limiting the success of their respective ventures. As well as questions around gender, geography, ethnicity, and disability (which remain depressingly entrenched), their survey also asked about caring responsibilities:

For me, this is an exciting chart, because it highlights and challenges:

1) the extent to which all existing businesses are being constrained, because of a lack of relevant and appropriately designed support available to them by business support providers and caring bodies;

2) that there's near parity in how men and women are affected - caring is usually associated with women, but as I've been seeing over the last few years, there's far more men doing it than might be otherwise expected.

The wider session was also encouraging, as as I shared my notes and ideas based on the research and evidences I'm identifying around this topic, people agreed that there's a lot of 'blindness' to not only how carers are thought about (or not) when programmes and projects to support different groups of people and communities and being designed and run; but also to the very limited and outdated stereotypes about the scope and range of understanding that most people have in relation to what caring roles can look like and involve, and who has them.

 

too many badges for my own good?

Anyone who's seen the opening page of my impact report this year, will have been overwhelmed by the number of logos of bodies that I'm a signatory to/accredited by (and this doesn't include the even longer list of professional memberships I have!).

There's a story behind each one as to why I specifically made the effort to be able to show it off next to my name (in time, cost, and energy) - but none of which are to do with it helping me to win work (my feedback from clients is that they've never been interested in this type of thing when it comes to deciding who to commission to support them).

And I'm wondering if there's therefore a parallel here with the various accreditations, honours, and recognitions that I have in the form of the tins of 'alphabet soup' that I can arrange either side of my name - they've similarly never impacted on the work I've won, and if anything, most of the groups, communities, and people I work with find them a turn-off...

But I'm proud of these recognitions from different bodies as to how I conduct my business, and the impacts it creates (otherwise they wouldn't have accepted my applications to them), so don't want to completely hide them away... which leaves me wondering what the right balance is in shouting about them: both for the value of what they represented, and that they've endorsed me as being 'alright' by their standards.

If you're curious about any of these 'badges', etc, see below for the links to each: 

Organisation of Responsible Business

Charter for Inclusive Entrepreneurship

Prompt Payment Code

Good Business Charter

Fair Tax pledge

Armed Forces Covenant

Co-operativesUK

Social Value UK

Institute of Small Business and Entrepreneurship (ISBE)

Voluntary Sector Studies Network (VSSN)

UK Society for Co-operative Studies

Locality

Better Business Network (BBN)

Federation of Small Businesses (FSB)

Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, manufactures, and commerce (RSA)

Shakespeare, Einstein, and now me - how imposter syndrome has been understood and managed through the centuries

After I accidentally wrote and self-published my book about imposter syndrome, I found that people started to want to invite me to guest on their podcasts to talk about it - and rather than see this as an opportunity for some additional promo (although that never hurts, right?), I saw it as an opportunity to reflect on my research and ideas afresh, from new critical perspectives.

Recently, this saw me conversing with fellow RSA Fellow Dr Nia Thomas, on her Knowing Self, Knowing Others series - you can 'listen again' to the whole episode here: 

https://podcast.knowingselfknowingothers.co.uk/2031015/15446370-73-unraveling-impostor-syndrome-self-doubt-and-personal-growth-with-adrian-ashton

And she's also taken out some snippets about how to rob banks, the risks of lemon juice, etc that came up during our conversation on her TikTok channel here:

https://www.tiktok.com/@knowingselfknowingothers 

But for those who would rather have the main headlines from it - my listening back highlighted how 'imposter syndrome':

• can act as a form of protection - both for ourselves, and others;
• is sometimes weaponised against us by others for their own agendas and aims;
• has emerged as a social construct, and as such can usually be more limiting than helpful;
• is linked to a wider conspiracy theories;
• and is a truth illusion: not only with reference to its own origin story, but also in how this 'illusion' is subsequently being perpetuated...

I also found myself referencing Shakespeare (for his guidance on how we balance our understanding of our own self, with not becoming paralysed with what we start to recognise and realise), and Einstein (for how he managed his own feelings of imposterism) - which shows that these feelings aren't new and were otherwise waiting to be discovered by Clance and Innes in their 1970s paper, but that we've perhaps simply started to get better at having the vocabulary to talk about more, and to recognise how they interconnect with our wider selves and others.

If you're interested to see how Nia's own reflections on our conversation pulled out different themes and prompts, you can check out her blog post on it here: 

https://knowingselfknowingothers.substack.com/p/top-takeaways-tuesday-unraveling 

I also talked about why it is I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking into a room full of women, but you'll have to listen to the podcast for the answer to that tease...

you'll never look at a shopping trolley in the same way again...

I was recently invited to guest on the ValuesJam podcast, to reflect on the value of Generosity (which wasn't chosen me, or the series' host, but rather by the universe, after I chose the number '42' - if you want to know more about that tangent, you'll have to listed to the episode!).

As a quick reference point, 'values' are those things that are most important to us in informing how we try and act, view the world and others, define ourselves by, and how we prioritise our decisions.  

The show takes the format of using the ValuesJam card deck, to explore and understand how different values manifest, impact, and can be harnessed to create better understanding between us all (as a group of people trying to share the same planet).

So, after drawing the Generosity card, we started to share stories around the card's prompts. 

You can get the full episode here:

https://youtu.be/MwHkwP0_3Z0?si=lFfRmZ78HmfNI4Bk

But as a brief synopsis of what I took from listening back to it, the themes that we seemed to keep returning to through the discussion were:

• how negative motivations can create public good through the lens of values;
• how talking about values can resurface hidden and lost memories;
• the need for crazies if we're to see movements for change not only start, but also 'take'*;
• how we usually recognise a value more, the more we practice it.

And naturally, my props were never far from appearing on camera - this time, it was the turn of a rubber duck, safety googles, and a trumpet that each seemed a natural artefact to highlight an idea or argument we found ourselves making and exploring...

Overall, we agreed that being generous is a risky business for people to be, and if you listen to the full episode, you may never look at shopping trolleys in the same way again, after we found ourselves constantly returning to them and the influence they create on other people's behaviour as well as our own...

* https://youtu.be/fW8amMCVAJQ 

how to find out how much people really respect you...

I've blogged in the past about how difficult it can be to take 'time off' as a sole trader/freelancer - something that various studies also highlight:

• 1 in 4 of us aren't able to take any holiday at all, and of those of us that are able to, about half have to take work with them;
• and this isn't because we're all greedily trying to cash in, or we're workaholics, but because unlike our counterparts in salaried employment, we're not entitled to the nearly 6 weeks paid time off that they can claim for holidays.  If we take time off, we get no pay;
• and all of this is further compounded by my also being one of the nearly 500,000 self-employed/sole traders who are also unpaid carers, and so already earning less money than those that aren't...

So it was with mixed emotions that I prepared to be away for a week with my wife recently - roving around caves, forests, and fields in Devon and Cornwall. And as this has been the first time we've been able to take a holiday together for about 5 years, was 'quite important'. 

In recognising this, I made effort to contact various clients, project managers, associates, etc in advance, to alert them to my being away - partly to help manage expectations, and also to try and best protect this time away.

Most people I contacted acknowledged and wished us both a restful and enjoyable time. A mark of the respect and strength of relationship I'd built with them. Or so I thought...

While I was away, I had to respond to no less than 13 arising issues, all from different bodies, people, and groups whom I'd already informed of my being 'out of office'*. These ranged from local groups, to collaborators with whom I'm working on joint projects with, to infrastructure and national sector bodies.

And none of these messages referenced the senders' awareness that I was taking a holiday at the time they were sending them, nor that they were able/happy to wait until my return - in fact, nearly all needed responses urgently (so a good job that I was able to wander around early in the mornings before my wife rose for our adventures of the day, to find signals for my phone and quickly send acknowledgements, replies, and clarifications to nearly all of them).

Now, the above could be read as an encouragement that I'm fortunate to have these relationships and work at all, but it's also been said that a mark of respect is how far people will act in ways you ask them to - and in light of the above, I can't help but start to wonder how far my experience is illustrative of either people not being respectful of me, or it's a wider issue about freelancers and sole traders in general not being respected?

My hope in sharing this 'rant' isn't to shame any of the above (after all, there are always at least 5 sides to every story, and we'll never be aware of most of them), but to try and open up opportunities for conversations with others to test the above question: is it easier to have your holiday protected and uninterrupted if you're employed (and so have legal rights and protections for your time off), or are freelancers and consultants not thought of as being equally valued in how they're treated by clients in comparison with how said clients would treat their employed staff for the same circumstance (taking holiday)?

If it's the former, then it's another sign of how unjust the law is in treating the self-employed as a lower class of people in not recognising or affording them the same protections and rights as people in other forms of employment are entitled to. And subsequently, the damage this is doing to the 4.3 million of us in the UK who work in this way.

* Yes, dear reader, I could have simply ignored them all until I got back to civilisation - but to do so, would have meant a higher level of stress on my return when I opened the inbox to find torrents of conversation threads marked urgent and whose deadlines had already passed and therefore my needing to get involved in dealing with the unexpected 'fallout' from these (and which would have further compounded our coming home to find the bathroom leaking into the hallway...) - thus negating all of the benefits of taking time away.

Links - 

https://www.crunch.co.uk/knowledge/article/holiday-when-self-employed-get-away-with-getting-away 

https://www.simplybusiness.co.uk/knowledge/articles/2023/05/can-i-get-self-employed-holiday-pay/ 

https://thirdsectorexpert.blogspot.com/2023/06/being-all-things-to-all-people.html