Thursday, March 17, 2011

three part management course: lesson 3 - getting dumped on

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realise how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!!

He lay there, all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson 3:
a) not everyone who sh*ts on you in your enemy,
b) not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend,
c) and when you're in deep sh*t, its best to keep your mouth shut!

Friday, March 11, 2011

three part management course: lesson 2 - getting to the top

A turkey was chatting with a bull: "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" the bull replied. "They're packed with nutrients." the turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally, after a fourth night, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson 2: bullsh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there

Thursday, March 3, 2011

three-part management course: lesson 1 - sitting

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not?".

So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson 1: to be sitting doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.