why unpaid carers struggle so much to be heard...

I think I've figured out why it's so difficult for the views and experiences of unpaid carers to be accepted by policy makers and government.

Along with a few million other people in the UK, I'm an unpaid carer - and I'm also self-employed; juggling earning a living alongside meeting the support needs of several immediate family members.

Over the last few years, I've been trying to wave a flag for those of us like me - because we're the only type of unpaid carer not currently recognised in law or policy (which means there's no support for us). This lack of support is also a problem for everyone else, because it means that our respective businesses are all under-performing: in the wider economy there's over £10Billion of lost/deferred job creation, investment, exporting, etc that isn't happening every year, because we're trying to figure how to support ourselves in reconciling these competing roles on our own.

A key way in which I've been able to have some small initial successes in attracting interest to the approaching 1million people / unpaid carers / small business owners who are in this circumstance is through research and data - without which, policy makers and membership bodies can't justify investing the time to investigate these issues more.

But recently, a comment by one of Directors at the Centre for Local Economic Strategies (CLES) gave me reason to go back to basics with this - I'd referenced in conversation that most unpaid carers are just as likely to be men as they are women (in contrast to the typical general perception that it's usually women who take on caring roles). They challenged this by referencing the latest national census return, which CLES use as a baseline for all their policy work, as showing that it's actually predominately women who are unpaid carers. 

So I went back to the original source materials and realised that all the national government, health, policy, and support bodies are all working to a different understanding of who we are as unpaid carers.

It's shocking and depressing in equal measure - they all have different data about who unpaid carers are, and are using to base their support to us on. Is it any wonder then, that there's so much confusion about us, and why it's so hard for our voices to be heard? Because without a common agreement on how many of us are men, women, or other, each public body or agency can easily dismiss the research of others', on the basis that the starting point of identifying and understanding who carers are at such a fundamental level is so different to their own.

Can you see the confusion in the above chart?

• The government census shows a roughly 60/40 split in gender - but this survey was done in a global pandemic, and there's been questions subsequently raised by others about the validity of this finding, because of how the question on the census from was worded which likely led to many people not identifying themselves as carers when actually they are;
• Another government source (the DWP's family resources survey) has a different split at 66/33;
• x2 national public health sources (the national GP patients survey, and a national NHS survey) both have a big difference between them in how they've identified the gender split of unpaid carers;
• and the research by national bodies are who specifically created to understand and support carers have a notably different split again, at 50/50.

And this initial basic question of gender is also excluding people who don't identify along such binary f/m lines. 

So - if all the government bodies and statutory health services can't agree on such a simple basic starting point of 'what's the gender of unpaid carers?', then is it any wonder why carers are so mis-understood when it comes to us trying to share our experiences, or lobby for changes that would see us getting closer to being afforded the same recognitions as everyone who doesn't have caring responsibilities?

As for me - I've always generally aligned with the maxim "nothing about us without us". In this instance, that means I'm currently more trusting of data from carer support bodies, rather than distant civil servants whose own internal governmental departments and bodies can't agree on how far we may be made up of more than one gender than the other.

Half way through the year; missed most of my goals so far; but still feeling ok

So we're officially now in June - half way through 2025, and only 6 months to Christmas! 

And tied to our collectively reaching this calendar milestone, seems to have been a recent small flurry of emails, posts on social media, etc from lots of people encouraging us to reflect on how well we've been smashing things for these first 6 months of 2025.

Except when I look back over my shoulder at what I've 'smashed' since January, I find myself at serious risk of giving up on the second half of this year:

- as part of marking the 20th anniversary of my business I wanted to publish my second book out (a retrospective of these first 2 decades). And although I've somehow managed to get the manuscript done, there's still the getting around to sorting out and completing final details that keeps eluding me...

- I wanted to get my website redesigned (I can't remember last time I did it); similarly as part of the porcelain anniversary this year. But I've not yet started that conversation with my web-hosters, SmartBear (but maybe by being so openly public it'll help me be more accountable?).

- I signed up to a few on-line/self-paced courses, which I've not even opened session 1 of yet (I'd hoped that paying actual cash for them would help me better follow through, but turns out not).

Now, none of these involve training to climb a mountain, staging a global conference, or creating a new on-line course, so what have I been playing at to let these things slip so much? After all, if you break them down, they could all have been easily be covered off if I'd devoted just 1 combined hour a week to them all.

Which brings me to the crux of this post - it's easy to set ourselves the goal, and equally easy to miss it (kudos to Douglas Adams for the sound effect of when we do), and when we see it happening we get disheartened, and so are more likely to leave things unfinished. Worse, we're probably also less likely to even try to set a future ambition as a result.

But here's the trick that I'm using to keep my motivation going: what the hell have I been doing in these last 6 months which which meant that I missed achieving these otherwise very achievable things?

Professionally - the start of this year saw the end of a lot of funded business support programmes of various types; and I found myself being approached by several to help them make sure that they'd hit all their targets, had all the audit paperwork trails in place, and enterprises being supported by them were in the best possible health as they cut the (financial and support) cord after March. Anyone who's managed funded projects knows how hectic the last few months of any can be. Multiple that by 3 to 4...

Personally - my unpaid caring roles were notably ramping up (and continue to). I'm not going to share details here, because the stories about the immediate family members I support are theirs to share, not mine. But for context, the government's (and most carer support services') support for carers is based on the assumption that you only care 1 for person. Recent research is starting to come out that's helping to highlight the different and more stressful experiences of the 'sandwich carer' (someone who cares for 2 people who span different generations). I'm in the next camp of being the sole unpaid carer for 3 people. Added into this, I'm self-employed (which means I'm not recognised in law as a carer), so I'm needing to spin the plates of supporting them, keep my business running to help keep the rent paid, and all with no support for myself in these roles...

So maybe missing my targets is OK - because I can see that a lot of good stuff has still been happening in wider communities, and for those closest to me. And that only happened because I didn't stick to my goals and pursue them above all else, (and there's still another 6 months for me to catch up with them, right?).

Just as I shared earlier this year about giving up on a dream that I'd been chasing for 20 years, maybe we should also hold the goals we set for ourselves more lightly too - and try to recognise that sometimes not achieving them can serve a greater purpose?    

I'd like to apologise to any business trying to get a loan

I recently made an open and public apology to all my fellow freelancers, here on my blog - and I'd like to now extend this remorse to any business or enterprise that's thinking about raising investment (taking on a loan of any type) in their future. 

I was recently invited to meet with policy team at Bank of England, based on their interest in my various works over the last 3 decades in managing enterprise loan funds; researching changing trends affecting how businesses experience raising finance for growth; and ongoing dialogues with several national social investment bodies. And this isn't the first time - I'd previously contributed to their initial research into the financing of social enterprises back in 2003. 

This invitation seemed a good opportunity to help directly inform (and maybe influence?) how the body that all the lenders and investors ultimately check-in with in some way, reviewed it's current understanding and positions - because I know that from most of my conversations with enterprises of all types, that many of the current lending processes to them are increasingly mis-aligned with the changing world we find ourselves in. As a result, businesses are increasingly struggling to grow or sustain themselves because lenders aren't keeping up.

However, as an unpaid carer, I had to decline the invitation. Although I offered to meet by zoom, or enter in an email dialogue, because the ongoing caring responsibilities that I manage my business around meant I wasn't physically able to travel across the county to meet with them in person (as per the invitation), they simply said "sorry you can't join us". And that was it.

So to all business out there who may be thinking about taking on loans or investment of some kind, and at whatever stage of your journey you may be at, I'm sorry I wasn't able to represent you in a way that could have helped accessing future funds a little easier, when I otherwise might have had a clear opportunity to.

I'd like to apologise to all my fellow freelancers

I recently had an invitation to meet with the Government's Small Business Commissioner, after I was recognised by the new national Fair Payment Code as being the UK's first freelancer to gain this certification (and at the top gold level too!).

I'd already worked with their office to help them review and adapt their application criteria for this standard, (which originally excluded most of us freelance/self-employed types from being able to apply - because most of us don't have accountants, or use expensive accounting software), so that we could be on a slightly leveler playing field as everyone else. And this additional 'going beyond' made me think that the Commissioner might be especially interested in my ideas and experiences? (hence the invitation).

This invitation seemed a good opportunity for to me to help government bodies better understand just how important we are to the wider economy (and maybe a little more deserving of recognition in its policy?), if for no other reason than because I know from most of my conversations with a lot of my peers over the years, that we're actually much better than larger private businesses at paying our suppliers on time.

But as an unpaid carer, I had to decline the invitation - the Commissioner's office said I'd have to travel all the way into central London to meet with them in person: I live way 'up north', so the time needed for the travel wasn't possible against my ongoing caring responsibilities (which ironically, I'm not eligible for any support with, because government policy doesn't recognise that freelancers can also be carers). Despite offering to meet by zoom, or enter in an email dialogue, they simply said "sorry you can't take up the invitation, but keep up all the good work you're doing as an unpaid carer".

So to all my fellow freelancers out there - I'm sorry I wasn't able to represent us to government when I had a clear opportunity to. 

But hopefully more of us will start to submit ourselves to be certificated by the Fair Payment Code now that the application process allows us to, and the subsequent number of us doing so against other types of businesses might prompt the Commissioner to invite some of us round for tea and biscuits in the future, to re-start the conversation that I wasn't able to?  

after 20 years, it's time to go to the toilet

My business is 20 years old.

20 years! Only about 10% of enterprises that start-up get this far. 

To put this in perspective - when I started out, smartphones didn't exist! (it would be another year before the first tweet was posted; 2 years before the first iPhone was released on the world; and 3 years before Dropbox was launched. The typical best internet speed was 1Mb compared to around 900Mb today - we had to rely on using sharpened bones to scratch messages onto stones, and then hope people picked those stones up when we threw them at them).

Now, it turns out that the material associated with this particular anniversary is porcelain - something that most of us here in Britain associated with toilets.

But for me to have gotten this far, porcelain actually seems an apt simile for me:

• it has a high elasticity - to be able to keep up with all the changes in the world over the last 2 decades, the range of work I do, and types of organisations I support across all sectors, means I've had to be able to easily keep stretching myself.
• it has considerable strength and hardness - I've pushed hard on some things over the years, often to personal and professional criticism and opposition. This includes: (successfully) challenging CIC legislation; publishing a book that exposes most of the claims that people make about 'imposter syndrome' to be unproven and/or not based in any factual evidences; shining a brighter light on the 500,000+ unpaid carers who are discriminated against by all the bodies that are supposed to be supporting them because they're the only type of carer who aren't recognised in law for the sole reason that we're also self-employed; and calling out the apparent unprofessional practices of some social investors, which are damaging the wider sector; to name but a few.  
• it's translucent - I've openly published details of how I'm creating (or not) impacts of different types each year; and also been honest in my blog posts about when and where I've gotten things wrong.  
• and it has a high resistance to shock - if you've followed my blog over the years, you'll know that since becoming self-employed, my family has been made homeless twice; my father (who lives at the other end of the country) has almost died twice; I've navigated a difficult divorce; been investigated for tax fraud by HMRC three times (and cleared every time); had 'unannounced police visits' late at night; and so on. So much so, that the few people who know just how much 'shock' I've had to respond to and work through over these last 2 decades, are all amazed that I'm not only still in business, but not needed to be admitted anywhere...

So I'm actually pretty chuffed to be associated with porcelain.

But I also didn't want to miss the opportunity to try and mark this milestone - so, linking back to the toilet analogy, I've decided to twin my office toilet with a school in Uganda via https://toilettwinning.org/

25% of all human beings today don't have somewhere safe, clean, and hygienic to go to the toilet. Not only does this create all sorts of associated 'bio-hazards', it strips fellow people of their dignity. And if schools don't have toilets, then kids will find ways not to go there for those reasons, and as a result, lose the chance for education and so lose the future that they could/should have had, including the opportunity to break generational poverty.

So the next time you're paying a visit to the loo this year, please think of me and what you might be able to do to similarly 'be more porcelain'; and maybe if you might also be able find a similar excuse to twin your toilet with someone else's. 

Caring and screwed - how the government criminalises and forces unpaid carers into poverty (and traps them there)

It seems to be a recurring cyclical message from government of all colours - their recognition of the value and importance of those of us who provide unpaid care to our family, friends, and neighbours.

But recent a recent National Audit Office report into the 'carer's allowance scandal' (how unpaid carers have been overpaid benefits and were seemingly refusing to pay the government back), reveals that the actions of our government (whichever colour badge they wear) completely contradict these expressions and apparent commitment of support for us:

Earlier in 2024, the right to Carers Leave for salaried employees was introduced, as part of an attempt to prevent people being forced to quit their jobs because of the often impossible task of having to balance an employers needs and expectations, with the needs of the person/people we care for. However, most of us who would be eligible to ask for this new legal right can't afford to do so, as it's unpaid - and as carers we're already more likely to be in poverty (even while working) that non-carers. This means that roughly 600 people EVERY DAY are still being forced to leave paid work.   

The actual design of the carers allowance benefit (at the heart of this 'scandal') means 91% of us aren't eligible to even begin to apply for it (I'm statemented as the sole unpaid carer for 3 immediate family members, but can't meet the qualifying criteria of it to even begin the application form). And if you already receive a state pension, you're automatically ineligible for it!

If you are lucky enough to be able to apply for carers allowance, and be awarded it, then you can't have a combined total personal income of more than £12,200 (made up of the roughly £8,000 cap on what you can earn, and the approximate £4,200 of carers allowance payments). Compare that to the national average salary of £37,000 (government's office of national statistics) and poverty line calculated by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation of £28,000 to have a minimum standard quality of life. And to further 'rub salt in the wound', if you do get this support for yourself, the person you're caring for may find that their personal benefits are cut..! https://www.gov.uk/carers-allowance/effect-on-other-benefits  

Which brings us to the recent National Audit Office report about carers being prosected and taken to court for overpayments they received (based on their weekly earnings sometimes exceeding the £151 maximum allowed).  https://www.nao.org.uk/reports/carers-allowance 

This report found that the typical overpayment a carer has received is £988.

To put that in context using the earlier figures in this post, that equates to:

• 3 months of full carers allowance;
• 4% of what's needed for a person to have a minimum standard quality of life (remember that the currently rules on carers allowance means a person is already over 50% short of being able to achieve this!)
• 3% of the average wage in the UK (= 1.5 weeks' wages)

And HMRC and the DWP are keen to recover these overpayments, by forcing carers who are already struggling and are in poverty (because the government's rules force them to be so - remember the limit on what you're allowed to earn?), to endure even more hardship, because of mistakes in these overpayments that these same government bodies recognise and admit to making themselves:

• the government are x5 more likely to chase the debt than forgive it (even though it's relatively little - see above);
• we have a 50/50 chance that in their chasing for these amounts, that they'll instigate a 'civil action' to get the money back off us - taking us to court, which will damage our credit rating, and so keep us in poverty into the future...

But why should this matter to you, dear reader, if you don't have caring responsibilities?

Well, as unpaid carers, we save the wider economy £162 BILLION EACH YEAR. The current total overpayments on carers allowance is £252million - less than 2% of this benefit of savings that the state already enjoys because of our efforts and sacrifices.

So, dear government, how about a little compassion and actual recognition of the precarious state we unpaid carers are in: instead of constantly forcing us (and the people we care for) further into poverty, actually reform carers allowance and support properly?

Otherwise, you might find that we can no longer continue to afford to be able to act in these ways, and you'll have to find that extra £162bn each year (which is equivalent to over 90% of the the £179bn NHS budget).   

how to make carer's leave work for carers?

Earlier this year, there was the introduction of a piece of legislation that gives people in work, who also have unpaid caring responsibilities, the right to take up to a 'week off' as part of how the can better support the person who relies on them in that role.

However, as various researches and stories shared to coincide with the recent #CarersRightsDay by various carers bodies highlighted - most employers (and carers) aren't aware of this, and of those that are, most can't afford to ask for it or take it. This is largely because:

• people in work who are also carers are more likely to already be in poverty, so simply can't afford to take this time off unpaid;
• many businesses' workplaces may struggle to offer the flexibility that a person needs (for example - if they're a teacher, work in a clinical role, or as part of a manufacturing or engineering firm);
• lots of carers simply don't recognise themselves as being such, or if they do, are afraid of recriminations or damage to their future careers if they 'come out' to their employer.

And as a result of their not being able to take this leave, carers are:

• leaving their jobs in droves: currently, in the region of 600 people every day quit their jobs, because they can't balance their paid role with their caring responsibilities. This means a growing loss of skill and talent for businesses, and more people entering a life of poverty (because the act of being a carer means that, typically, you 'loose' at least £20,000 in earnings you would have otherwise earned each year);
• increasingly unwell and becoming mentally ill, because they're having to use their holiday leave entitlements to fulfil caring responsibilities. This leaves them no time to rest and recover, which means that they're accelerating when they'll reach burnout and breakdown points. 

All of this has been percolating around the back of my head over the last few days, and if anyone has a magic wand going spare (or knows where I can pick up a magic lamp with a genie it), this is what might help:

1. Extend the government's existing Access to Work scheme: this was designed to support people with disabilities or mental ill health to gain/remain in work, and is based on the Equalities Act. Carers are (in theory) also covered by the same Act, so what if Access to Work could be flexed to recognise and support carers as well? This would enable employers to invest in/introduce practices and systems that they might otherwise struggle to be able to. And yes, this would mean an increase of cost to the government, but it would also mean more people are able to stay in work, and employers are able to retain the skills and talent they need for growth.
2. Create a 'carers note' system, akin to current GP's 'fit notes'. This would help employers be able to better recognise and 'legitimise' employee's needs as carers, and might also help individual carers better identify as such (most of us don't 'claim the badge' until we've been doing it for around 3 years on average). This also then links into the next idea...
3. Get the Treasury to offer employers the ability to reclaim the cost of an employee's salary when they're on carers leave, in the same way they currently can for maternity and other types of family leave. Carer's are nearly always caring for a family member of some type, so it's in keeping with current systems and rules; and this would also mean that Carers could afford to take this leave too. And yes, it would mean a higher cost to the government, but as with extending the Access to Work idea above, the return would surely show it would be 'fantastic' value for money, on the same grounds?
4. Get higher visibility and profile for carers and carers needs in workplaces, not by recruiting 'ambassadors', but targeting the people that most small businesses listen to and trust the most: their accountants and trade bodies.
5. Finally, remove the +20% growth potential requitement that businesses have to evidence to be able to access funded business support programmes, so more employers can get support in working out how to make options best work for them and their employees who are also carers. Otherwise, lots of employers will continue to lose skills and talent, and increasingly perform less well, which will contribute to the wider economy grinding to a halt...

These is all based on existing government schemes, programmes, and legislation, so in theory, not that difficult to introduce or legislate for?

And... for the half a million of us sole traders and freelancers who currently don't have these same rights as our salaried counterparts (in fact, we don't have any!), these would all largely directly apply to us as well, which helps to remove some of the discrimination we currently face in working in this way.


And yes, any changes to systems that offer government payments can be open to abuse and fraud - but there are already safeguards and checks and balances in place for all of the above where these might be needed, including the DWP's own longstanding practice of being able to recognise a carer and authorise them as an 'appointee' to manage disability payments and other benefits that the person they care for is entitled to receive, if that person is not able to do so themselves. So another example of how the systems and infrastructure needed is already there...

But what do others think?

How audacious, crazy, unfeasible might some of these ideas be?

chocolate, taboos, impossible choices, and tax - the present and possible futures of freelancers with caring roles?

Each October is the global Freelance Business Month – a coming together of freelancers from different countries to share encouragement, support, insight, and general building up of each other.

This year, I was invited to lead one of the sessions, to explore the ways in which freelancers from around the world who are also unpaid carers approach balancing the often-conflicting demands of these roles.

In the run up to it, the topic seemed to be drawing a lot of interest, based on responses, comments, and reshares to social media posts about it on different platforms; and, on the day, the number of windows in my zoom app from people joining only just all fitted onto my screen…

As part of the conversations, everyone agreed that it would be important to try and capture some of the stories shared, as an encouragement and support to our peers who are similarly juggling these roles and circumstances - which is what you're now reading in this blog post.

Caring around the world

We opened with a brief reflection on what unpaid caring and freelancing looks like in different countries. Based on my own researches over the last few years, we know that in the UK, unpaid carers who are also freelancers:

• Number in the region of approximately 500,000;
• Are twice as likely to be in poverty than their counterparts who are able to be in some form of salaried work, and that’s largely because we suffer a ‘caring penalty’ in the form of lost earnings of up to £20,000 each year because of our caring responsibilities;
• Were usually freelancing before gaining a caring responsibility, in contrast to popular belief;
• Aren’t recognised or offered any rights in law (as other carers are), and as a result have no caring or business services designed in recognition of their specific circumstances.

Others in the session shared a similar lack of recognition and support available in their respective countries. 

The stress is universal, unavoidable, and causes problems

Some talked about how the pressures and stresses of taking on and managing a caring role can mean that we may be more prone to making mistakes in how we manage our affairs as a freelancer - one person shared that the process of becoming a carer meant that they were so distracted during one of their annual filings of accounts, they are now paying more tax than they should be (and at a time when they are now also earning less because of the caring role).

This theme of enhanced stress was echoed by all, in wanting there to be a greater understanding and recognition of the psychological stresses and mental strains that becoming (and acting as) a carer places on us as freelancers. As one person shared in the chat: 

“It [being a carer] seems to be both an obligation and a choice. There is also the choice to NOT be a carer, but…”

Balancing it all 

We moved on to sharing some of the ways in which we’ve been approaching creating our own balances to keep our earnings as a freelancer continuing, with fulfilling the responsibilities of having a caring role (or in some instances as was shared, having multiple caring roles! One freelancer shared how they’re now the sole unpaid carer for multiple family members in their immediate household):

• Some have chosen to purposefully limit their earnings/avoid certain types of work and clients as part of trying to reduce the increased stress that being a carer brings;
• Some shared how they have identified and accessed counselling support for themselves as part of managing the stress, via memberships of professional freelancing bodies – but all agreed that we should all be trying to access this through other means where we may be able to, as part of trying to manage our personal well-being in this dual role;
• Some shared that despite having less earnings, they have reduced their personal disposable even more in order to pay for private health care plans so that they can better manage their own health needs around those of the people they care for, and in working as a freelancer.

We also talked about how there was a need for better education and understanding about the needs and circumstances of freelancers in our position – 

“if you’re not in the situation, you would never understand just how it feels and what you’re faced with having to manage”.

Which in turn, led to a consensus on the importance that as a community of freelancers we need to take opportunities where we can (and are able/comfortable to) to share our stories in breaking the taboos around unpaid caring as a freelancer, if we’re ever going to be better recognised and encouraged as such, (which includes finding encouragement in/from our peers).

This led to a lively discussion around if / how / when to disclose to our clients that we have a caring role.

'Coming out' as a carer

Nearly all present stated that they’d told at least one client they work with about their caring responsibilities, and that in the main, it strengthened the working relationship by that client then seeing them as subsequently being more authentic – and in our also disclosing this in ways that included examples of how we would mitigate the risk of this impacting on our work with them, that we’re seen as also being more trustworthy, too.

One freelancer shared a story of a how, after disclosing their caring role to a client, the client had stated that they wouldn’t be able to work with them after all, owing to the nature of how the wider programme that they were managing had been designed. However, the following week, the client returned to say that after reflecting with their own colleagues, they’d decided to redesign their programme so that the freelancer could be commissioned to support the delivery of it after all.

This was heard by all in the session as a massive encouragement as it showed:

• If we openly work with them, clients can better understand our circumstances and respond – but they'll probably have never before thought about this, until we forced them to;
• A validation for the value and worth of how that freelancer is viewed by their client.

Another unexpected outcome shared in the session by another freelancer after they ‘came out’ as a carer to a client, was that client suddenly being able to share their own caring story with someone who they knew would ‘get it’ – it built more points of connection with a fellow human being, and highlighted that it’s not just freelancers who struggle to be able to find ways to talk about the realities of being a carer in workplace settings.

What's good for freelancers who care is good for all of us (and vice versa)

Finally, we shared our ‘magic wish’ with each other – the one thing that we would like to see happen or change for freelancers who also having caring responsibilities:

• More chocolate to help us manage our stress;
• More understanding from clients and governments;
• Having some form of basic universal income;
• Bringing in an equality of access to benefits and supports that employees who are carers can access, but which we as freelancers who are also carers currently can’t;
• Changes to the tax systems as part of a wider recognition of financial supports freelancers need, owing to the displacement/loss of earnings that having a caring role forces.

Interestingly, many of these wishes are relevant (to lesser degrees) to all freelancers in all countries, regardless of them having an unpaid caring role or not – which suggests that any changes introduced to support freelancers with caring roles, would also be of benefit the wider freelancing community too (and vice versa).

And none of what was shared by people seemed to be specific to any one country – which suggests that our experiences are pretty universal, meaning that it would be easy to learn from and support each other more in progressing these.

 

Special thanks and recognition 

I'd like to thank those of you who were part of the conversation for your openness, honesty, and bravery in not only talking about your caring stories and experiences, but also for encouraging me to share this all on with the wider world.

I'd also like to recognise those who were there who shared that they're at the start of their own personal caring journey as an existing freelancer, for your proactiveness in seeking opportunities and ways that you can better support yourself and inform the choices you're starting to face (I wish I'd had your foresight when I started my own caring journey 7 years ago...)

And, my thanks again to the organisers of this years’ FBM for allowing me to host this space in it, and for also changing the format this year to a ‘free for all’ access – instead, asking for donations to support pancreatic cancer: https://ti.to/freelance/fbm24/with/freelance-business-month-donation

(if you didn’t already know, freelancing is one of the ‘life activities’ that puts us at an increased risk of developing cancer in the future! https://www.freelanceinformer.com/news/cancer-alert-40-of-cases-linked-to-lifestyle-freelancers-are-you-at-risk/)

 

how desperate unpaid carers really are...

Carers UK recently published research into how many unpaid carers are in poverty (spoiler: being a carer means you're x2 as likely to be in poverty than if you're not).

Despite being lauded by government and other agencies in recognition of the roughly £160 BILLION that we save the government EACH YEAR, there's still plenty of disgruntlement amongst us for the lack or recognition and support we receive in turn - for example: for those eligible to qualify to be able to apply for carers allowance (plot twist: despite having sole unpaid caring responsibilities for several family members in my immediate household, I'm only eligible to receive £6 each week), this only offers about £2 per hour that we can receive in recognition of the time we spend caring, which prevents for from being 'economically active' otherwise: earning money to support ourselves as others can. For comparison, the legal minimum wage we would have to be paid for any job, however menial, starts at £6.40 per hour.

The report by Carers UK digs into this topic in painful and shocking detail. And while others have done far better jobs that I in looking at the wider dimensions of how carers suffer inescapable poverty because of the nature of the role: https://numbereighteeninthecorner.blog/2024/09/19/carer-servitude/, - I'm focussing here on what this latest research tells us about how being an unpaid carer affects those of us who are also self-employed. 

Now, before we get into Carers UK's research, to 'set the scene' here, self-employment in general is:

• one of the worst things you can do for your mental well-being; 
• likely to mean you earn less for doing the same job than if you were salaried;
• worse than being employed for your long-term health.

And yet roughly 500,000 of us who are unpaid carers are choosing this way of working on top of being a carer, which in itself is recognised as being:

• highly stressful;
• leaves us socially isolated;
• bad for our mental well-being;
• roughly, up to £20,000 worse off EACH YEAR. 

So lets do the reveal: unpaid carers who are also self-employed are x2 more likely to be in poverty than their employed counterparts, who also have caring responsibilities (and to 'rub salt in the wound', we don't get the same legal recognition or protection as they do...) 

So why are so many of us pursuing this apparent nonsense of pushing ourselves even further 'over the edge' by 'doing' self-employment alongside our caring role, when all the evidence above says it's the worst thing anyone could do to themselves?

As Carers UK research highlights, nearly half of people who were salaried before becoming carers are forced to give up their jobs, because they find the two roles aren't compatible. 

The current rules on carers allowances (assuming you're eligible to be able to be apply for it, then and lucky enough to get it) means that you can't earn more than £151 a week. Combined with the max carers allowance of £81.90, this would mean you have a maximum income potential of roughly £12,000 a year to live (covering housing, food, utilities, clothing, etc). That's less than half of what's recognised as a person needing to earn in order to have a minimum acceptable standard of living. This means that many carers simply can't afford to apply for/live on carers allowance, and as previously highlighted, quite a lot of demands and requirements of being an employee are incompatible with being a carer.

Which means that short of picking the winning numbers on the lottery, or robbing a bank, the only other choice is either living in deep poverty or doing self-employment (although as the research shows, doing self-employment is no guarantee you won't escape the poverty trap).

And I've also heard of some of my contemporaries in this space who've openly shared that taking on this most stressful of all employments was the best way they could find to help them find a counter-balance to the stresses and responsibilities of being a carer. Which takes us back to the earlier point of how tough being a carer is - but how tough must it be, for the most stressful of all employments to be seen as a type of respite from it?  

So for anyone out there who's also a carer as well as being self-employed: I hope you take some comfort from this post, in it offering you a recognition of how tough life really is for you. And for anyone who isn't: I hope you can use some of the feelings that this post has (hopefully) stirred up in you to act in support for carers of all types. 

how better support for carers could instantly see growth in 20% of businesses across the economy

I've written in the past about how unpaid carers are usually invisible and overlooked, and that for those of us who are also self-employed, we're even more so, because we're not even recognised in law (unlike our counterparts who may be in salaried employment, and despite there being an equal likelihood that if you are able to work while also an unpaid carer, you'll be doing it in this way).

I've also shared the statistics about how this lack of support for those of us who are (trying to) trade and maintain caring roles, means that 'UK plc' is at least £5billion a year worse off than it might otherwise be.

But I've recently also started to have conversations with some different local business support bodies', and start-up programme, managers who are beginning to recognise that they perhaps aren't doing anything/enough to consider the design of their offers and encouragements with regards to the circumstances and realities of people with caring responsibilities.

This came to the fore for me recently, as part of an event organised by the Collective Leadership Group, who'd invited me to showcase some of my research and efforts around the realities of being an unpaid carers and an entrepreneur.

As part of this event, Hatch Enterprise shared the findings of a recent study that they'd undertaken into the experiences and barriers people face in relation to the concept and idea of entrepreneurship. One of their question prompts from their surveys in this was about barriers entrepreneurs were experiencing that were hindering and limiting the success of their respective ventures. As well as questions around gender, geography, ethnicity, and disability (which remain depressingly entrenched), their survey also asked about caring responsibilities:

For me, this is an exciting chart, because it highlights and challenges:

1) the extent to which all existing businesses are being constrained, because of a lack of relevant and appropriately designed support available to them by business support providers and caring bodies;

2) that there's near parity in how men and women are affected - caring is usually associated with women, but as I've been seeing over the last few years, there's far more men doing it than might be otherwise expected.

The wider session was also encouraging, as as I shared my notes and ideas based on the research and evidences I'm identifying around this topic, people agreed that there's a lot of 'blindness' to not only how carers are thought about (or not) when programmes and projects to support different groups of people and communities and being designed and run; but also to the very limited and outdated stereotypes about the scope and range of understanding that most people have in relation to what caring roles can look like and involve, and who has them.

 

blending running a business with being a carer

Earlier this year, I found myself back in the Atomicon-verse (for those that don't know, it involves oversized pink pineapples, lots of freelancers getting giddy, and a strict 'no selling' rule). 

Most people involved in it seem to focus on the main day speakers, and the chance to hang out with people they normally only get to share a zoom screen with. But I've always found that the most encouraging, powerful, and useful part of it for me are the 'roundtables': hour-long on-line spaces in the weeks running up to it, hosted by people coming to the event, to share, reflect, and explore a range of self-chosen topics.

Last year, I was fortunate to be invited to lead one of these round tables, on the topic of being an unpaid carer and small business owner (see the write up from that here) - and this year, the ever upbeat Liz & Mike Cole were holding a space on how to approach 'blending' these 2 identities.

It saw a small group of us convene on screen at the appointed time, to initially offer mutual encouragement through each sharing a (very) small part of our story in how we'd come to gain our caring roles, after we'd already established and were running a business; and some of our struggles in reconciling often competing demands on us this leads to.

This also highlighted just how diverse caring roles can be:

- being a parent to young children

- being a foster carer

- being single parent, following the loss of a spouse

- having neurodivergent children (both young - of school age, and older - in their 20s)

- nursing a spouse through significant illness

- having elderly parents who struggle to live independently 

But we didn't focus on how we supported ourselves in these roles (as happened in last years' round table); our conversations instead explored how we can be more open about having a caring role, with our clients. 

This is because all of us identified to some extent with the concern that as freelancers and small businesses, clients buy us in to fix their problems - if they learn we also have caring responsibilities, which may mean we have to delay or defer working on their project, then they're more likely to pass us over for the commission. 

Several options and ideas emerged through these reflections together, and I've summarised them below, in hopes that they may be of encouragement and support to other unpaid carers in similar circumstances to us:

1) mapping the skills we've developed as unpaid carers, against the offers we can present to clients, to highlight how these responsibilities can offer us additional 'superpowers' in what we can offer them in turn;

2) highlighting the value and impact we've delivered to other clients whilst also having caring responsibilities, to challenge prejudice and bias on their part (however unconscious it might otherwise be);

3) pro-actively offer clarifications about our working practices to manage expectations, as part of our terms and conditions, as a means of 'positive disclosure';

4) referencing external research to validate the assertions we're making about all of the above with regards to our ability to deliver proposed projects.*

This isn't the first time that I've invested time in considering and exploring how to be more open with the world and clients about what it means for me to be an unpaid carer, and how this affects my working life - I had the opportunity to raise the question at an 'expert hot seat' session last year. However, in that instance, I felt rather disappointed with the response from the 'global experts' (who didn't have experience of caring roles themselves). Their suggestion was simply "Tell the client at some point, but don't make it a 'first date conversation' topic. If the client doesn't understand and isn't supportive, then you probably wouldn't want to work with them anyway". But that somehow misses the point of recognising that about 80% of the self-employed are already in poverty (before we add in the impact of being an unpaid carer, and the financial penalty we pay because of this), so we can't always have the luxury of being picky and choosy over the types of clients we work with...

Perhaps this divergence in experience can be attributed to the adage that those with the affected experience are best placed to know how to best respond to it? But as last years' round table on this topic highlighted, we seem to have precious little opportunity to currently do so, so I've very appreciate of Mike and Liz to have hosted the space, for us, and for everyone who was part of it on the day.

* There's not much of such research out there at the moment, but following last years' round-table on the subject, ipse and other national sector bodies have subsequently gotten interested in this topic (given that it's been identified there are about 500,000 of us!), so there should be more evidences hopefully emerging soon...  

it's getting harder for me to be patient with (some of) you

I've always tried to manage my business in ways that reflect my values - and as some may know, this includes a practice of 'grace'. This is manifest through my automatically offering to reschedule a call/meeting/session with a client or collaborator if it transpires that they fail to 'turn up', without additional charge* (even though it represents lost time and earnings for me - I'm not salaried, which means I have to make every hour I spend count, in helping to generate enough income to pay the rent, etc).

This grace is based on my idea that we're all human beings - sometimes, we simply 'forget', or the universe has other plans for us at that time, despite our best intentions to the contrary (a child is sick, we're suddenly faced with an employee in crisis, etc). And I know that if it were me in such a position, I'd hope that there'd be some similar understanding and compassion - so I try and act in this way in turn**.

Over the last few years, I've started to track just how much my practice of grace represents/costs me, as part of my annual impact reports.

Since I started to record it 5 years ago, its averaged nearly £7,000 a year! And although it seemed to 'peak' in 2021/2 (which I attributed to the 'fall out' from the pandemic), and has been steadily slowly dropping each year since then (last years' figure was £6,675) - my experiences at the start of this year are not encouraging... 

In the first month of this new financial year alone, I've already 'lost' nearly £900 - which may not sound like much to some, but if this is a pattern which continues for the rest of the year (and I've generally seen a need to exercise my grace consistently over the year, since I started to record it), then you can hopefully see how it will quickly accumulate to exceed what the average has been for the last 5 years. 

I know I'm not the only freelancer / self-employed who this happens to - but bear in mind that I'm also a registered unpaid carer, which, according to research published by JRF last year, means I'm already foregoing at least £10,000 each year in earnings because of this circumstance.

So hopefully you can understand and appreciate how, if I seem a little cool with you in reconvening after you've needed to rebook time with me, it's not because I don't like you - it's because I find the behaviours and/or circumstances that have led to it not only showing a potential lack of respect for my time (and therefore me), but are also causing me tangible pain.

And yes, I could introduce a policy of 'pay or play' (i.e. - if you don't turn up, I still charge you), but that would feel like it would be cutting against my values of trying to encourage others by recognising that sometimes despite our best efforts, we simply can't honour an arrangement...  But it is something that I'm looking to have to start to factor into working agreements where this happens in the course of my working with a client from now on.

*for clarification, 'without notice' includes messaging me less than 24 hours before the arranged time - as this means I'm similarly unable to find other meaningful client work or activity: representing lost earnings for me.

**if you're wondering - yes, I also track the extent to which I may have also 'forgotten' or not been able to offer the other person more than 24 hours notice myself.

being all things to all people - the realities of being self employed and an unpaid carer

This post was written at the start of carers week 2023 - and is based on conversations amongst freelancers and owners of small businesses at events hosted by Freelance Heroes and Atomicon23.

It is not intended to offer definitive, medical, or legal counsel or guidance - but reflect emergent themes and issues that may be of encouragement and support to others; and possibly also highlight future wider policy development needs. 

My name is Adrian, and I'm an unpaid carer for my adult step-child, as well as being a freelance business consultant.

In my head that makes me sound like I'm at an alcoholics anonymous meeting, but maybe it's not too dissimilar: people often struggle to feel comfortable in knowing how to best behave in the company of an alcoholic, and similarly with someone who's an unpaid carer (unless you're living it day to day, it can be hard to fully appreciate the realities of the identities and roles that you hold and manage as such).

But unlike my counterparts who are in salaried, direct employment, there are no legal recognitions for me as an unpaid carer in my (paid) work; and no data on how many other people like me there are - in preparing to host the roundtable discussions that this blog is based on, the Office of National Statistics, the Labour Force Survey, and ipse all revealed that there is no data about how many people who are self-employed/business owners are also unpaid carers. 

A rough-cut extrapolation of data I could find about unpaid carers in general, and different models of employment, might seem to suggest that roughly 10% of the self-employed are also unpaid carers (that's about half a million people!), and of those, less than 1 in 10 have access to any support for themselves in these roles - and as freelancers, we're more likely to be in poverty if we're an unpaid carer than if we were salaried.

Starting to initially explore these issues with groups of fellow freelancers, small business owners, and sole traders who are also unpaid carers like me, saw the following emerge and being shared:

 

Busting accepted wisdom about origin stories

It can be easy to assume that people who are unpaid carers chose to become self-employed to offer themselves more flexibility around their unpaid caring role - but what came out of the discussions, is that this wasn't always the case.

Often, people took on the mantle of an unpaid carer role after having been self-employed for many years, and as a result subsequently found they needed support with redeveloping how they worked in order to be able to maintain their earnings to continue to support themselves and their families (but this isn't offered/available to them).

Seeing it coming

In one of the roundtables, a person shared how they had joined the conversation to learn from others' experiences because they had recently recognised that in future years, they will need to be more actively involved in supporting the care of their parents. 

They were trying to be pro-active in managing the impact that becoming an unpaid carer would have on themselves, their family, and their business by better understanding the likely realities they will experience when they do. As a result, they hoped to be able to best plan to mitigate the impacts of this - and this roundtable had offered them the first opportunity to be able to do this in any meaningful way.

The need for a better handbook

Through sharing their experiences, people agreed that there was much about being an unpaid carer that they wish they had know sooner, but which no-one had told them (for example - the benefits of being able to be formally recognised and registered as a carer for a family member). 

While there is knowledge out there, it can be hard to navigate and identify ("you don't know what you need to know, so don't know what questions to ask").  People are frequently relying on friends and family for informal (emotional) support for themselves, but as encouraging as these people might be, they rarely know of practical and pre-existing systems and processes that unpaid carers can apply to, but often aren't told about.

The limiting of business growth and potential

A common recurring practicality about being an unpaid carer that was shared, was how it meant that the businesses we had created all had to be limited in terms of their potential to grow in order to honour our caring responsibilities - and with that, our ability to innovate and develop new services and offers in the marketplace.

Whilst this is obviously a personal decision that all unpaid carers find ways to eventually reconcile, this speaks to the impact of the need for unpaid care to our wider economy.

The cost to our personal futures

As well as the financial impact that being an unpaid carer creates through loss of earnings (which is not mitigated through carers allowance were it is able to be awarded), there was also concern about how little support there is for us to be able to access for ourselves in this role - one person shared how becoming an unpaid carer had led to them being diagnosed with mental ill health, and being subsequently needing to be prescribed anti-depressants.

The emotional stresses that unpaid care places on us therefore also affects the future we might have otherwise experienced for ourselves, through it is affecting our well-being today. 

The need for supportive clients

A tension was briefly explored around our relationships with our clients as small business owners - specifically, how far we're open with them about our identify and priorities as an unpaid carer, and how this tension can be managed in how we work with them. As freelancers, our clients come to us to solve problems quickly, responsively, and without adding to their own existing complexity, so revealing we may need to drop them at no notice because of a caring need, may understandably 'spook' them a little...

People shared how their clients were generally sympathetic and flexible in work agreed - but not every business that commissions us will be able to be such; which loops us back to the limiting on our business' potential that being an unpaid carer can entail.

Taking back control

Being self-employed often means we face a barrage of external stressors because of the ever-changing circumstances we all experience that are instigated by others (clients, government, etc) - and being an unpaid carer only exacerbates these through the additional unknowns of how the child, parent, or sibling we care for may respond on any given day to any given event, how reviews of their care or support plans may trigger new complications, and so on.

The roundtables therefore also tried to look at how we're approaching supporting ourselves, and in doing so, gain a little more control over our own lives:

- counselling support from the FSB was mentioned as one of their member benefits, that one person had made use of;

- one person shared how they had chosen to deliberately limit the earnings of their business to reduce the stress on having to work with multiple clients on different deadlines which would otherwise be constantly competing with the needs of their child, that they are the unpaid carer for;

- taking out a private health care plan to be able to arrange GP appointments, any procedures, etc at times that suited them, rather than playing the lottery of NHS scheduling and waiting lists, was shared by someone else;

- registering as a limited company, rather than remaining a sole trader, was shared as a way one person had approached reducing the stress they were feeling about the risks in their business alongside being an unpaid carer.

But these roundtables weren't all 'doom and gloom' as might start to be otherwise interpreted based on the above:

- there was also news about 'Cornerstone', a new emergent peer community for freelancers who are also unpaid carers being created;  

- gratitude was expressed for people having the opportunity to (briefly) share time with their peers, and be edified from hearing that what they were experiencing wasn't unique to them; 

- and people also valued how being an unpaid carer creates space for us to reflect on our own personal identities as human beings.

If you're an unpaid carer you may find the below sites of help (as well as links in the various parts of the blog above):

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/looking-after-people/carers-help-and-support/

https://www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/help-for-carers

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/

I'm also happy to offer to speak with any fellow small business owners, sole traders, and freelancers to swap stories that may be of mutual benefit - as well as with any sector or national bodies to further explore potential policy and initiatives that may address some of the themes and issues these roundtables identified:

- the impact to the economy of 500,000 businesses not being able to achieve their potential;

- the need for business disruption to be avoided when small business owners transition into unpaid care roles;

- how freelancers can be better supported to access support/avoid poverty when becoming unpaid carers.

UPDATE 3rd AUG 2023:

Published after these round tables, and blog was written up, JRF have undertaken some further research into this, and found that as unpaid carers who are also freelance/self-employed/small business owners, we pay a #CaringPenalty (suffer lost earnings) of nearly £10,000 every year!

- any wonder so many of us are finding ourselves being pushed into poverty?

https://www.jrf.org.uk/report/caring-penalty