How did I get here?

I take an unusual approach to helping people understand the balance sheet part of their accounts: I play the Talking Head's song "once in a lifetime", and explain how the lyrics actually explain how this strange set of numbers can be read and understood easily by anyone.

And a core part of this activity is a lyric in the song - "how did I get here?".

But this isn't a post about accounts or David Byrne - instead, it's a roundabout why of introducing a question I was asked by an early-stage entrepreneur, as part of a Mindset for Success gathering that I was invited to speak at earlier this year. 

When they heard that I'd made it to 20 years (and in doing so, beaten the survival rate of 90% of all other businesses), they were keen to know how I'd managed it: "how did I get here?".

And it's a really good question - because as I reflect on my blog posts, annual impact reports, stories I've shared across the various podcasts I've been invited to guest on, I don't think anyone (including me) has ever really stopped to try and figure out what my 'magic fairy dust' is.

After all, if you've seen other posts I've made on my blog earlier this year, you'll have read the litany of everything I've had to endure and work through during these 2 decades - any one of which by themselves would be sufficient to kill off any business; yet I've managed to not only survive so many such critical moments, but also get to my porcelain anniversary too. So maybe there's something about how I work which might actually be quite relevant to any business?

In the session I offered a few off the cuff thoughts, but promised I'd come back to the question to try and better reflect on it, here on my blog. 

So - I currently think that the reason(s) that I've made it this far are:

1) curiosity

Not the NASA rover on Mars (although part of me is embedded onto its successor, Perseverance, that's currently trundling around the red planet).

I find myself always wondering 'why?' and 'why not?' - and on reflection realise that this has been important in stopping me from becoming complacent or stale in how I work and what I offer.

It's also meant that I've introduced new practices which have gotten me noticed more; helped me change my position on different topics and themes so I've been seen as even more credible and relevant by others; contributed to strengthening my resilience (both personally and professionally); and helped me make better sense of everything I get involved in, which has directly supported me to be able to maintain my motivation through some very trying episodes.

2) being a glass half empty guy

Normally, the person who looks at the glass and says it isn't half-full is labelled the pessimist (and therefore more likely to turn down opportunities, and otherwise miss out on life).

But my looking at the glass and seeing it as being half-empty doesn't stop there - I have an idea that what's important isn't what we see, but what we do because of how we see it: because I see the glass as being already half-empty, it means I'm always looking for the next tap (which also helps in trying to avoid complacency).

It also means that I invest more energy in contingencies (which some people will have heard me refer to as my 'professional paranoia'): because I see the glass as being already half empty, it means that I'll feel any unexpected shocks more greatly because there's less water in the glass to absorb the shock wave from it. And having a range of contingences (even if only half-formed), means I'm more confident in my resilience when things start to go off-track, and able to recover from/endure them more easily and quickly.

3) trying to say yes (not no) more

There's an 'accepted wisdom' offered by many self-proclaimed experts and coaches that we should all be trying to say 'no' more.

But I've always struggled with this, initially because of my parents.

My parents tried to instill a set of good manners in me as I was growing up - which included trying to be helpful, and offering to support people if they ask you nicely.

Over time, this has seen me developing possibly one of the most diverse portfolios of any business consultant / freelancer. And while this comes with its own challenges (how do I best summarise in 1 pithy sentence what it is I do and who its for, when I work with national government departments on new national policy initiatives one day, and a consortium of market traders the next?), it's also meant I've found myself stretching my skills and comfort zones in ways that I wouldn't otherwise have even considered trying to (or seeing the benefit of). This has been really important for how I've kept my business going for this long - because I've fingers in different types of pies, it means that if one type of work/sector/etc starts to slow down, there there's usually another that I can focus more on to keep the lights on.

It's also meant that I was well ahead of the curve when the first lockdowns hit in March 2020, based on the number of national bodies who immediately enlisted my support to remodel how they work and redeliver their respective programmes and services in the world of zoom - up to that point, video calls and events were very niche and usually avoided by many, but I'd been asked to volunteer host a national body's monthly on-line meetups that were held over zoom several years prior. This meant I'd had lots of opportunities to play with/think about how to make this format best work for as many people and circumstances as possible.

4) always looking for escape exits

I have an idea that if you know how you'd be able to quickly exit a situation, contract, etc with the least amount of blood on the carpet, it can help you take more risks - you find you enjoy it more, because you're not worrying about what might happen if things start to go wrong. And you're not worrying because you've already looked at the glass as being half empty, worked out what the major risks might be and put things in place against them, so if things do start to go off-track, you know which glass to break to active your remedy to it.

Taking more risks also means you're confident to push things further; and the more we try new things, the more unexpected and exciting things can start to happen.

      

5) enduring more than my fair share of crises

I've recently shared about the full scope of hits I've had (professionally and personally) over these 20 last years. As any of of these could easily have killed any business, but I'm still here, then I've obviously built a lot of resilience in my business to be able to cope with shocks (which I've also considered in how I've also likened myself to a toilet elsewhere).

How I've thought about, and practiced, developing resilience is covered in other blog posts, podcast conversations, etc elsewhere - but investing in building this protection (both in my business model and personal mindset) is also recognised in various studies and research as helping people to:

• have greater self-awareness (which can help avoid the Dunning-Kruger effect)
• improving your psychological health (so enjoy greater mental well-being)
• better understand, and work with, others
• enhance self-management (really important if you're a freelancer or self-employed, like me)
• better decision making     

As well as the benefits that these would offer to any business, each of these is also recognised as helping people to better manage stress (which might also explain how the long-term stresses I live and work with aren't notably affecting my professional judgements, as evidenced by my business still being here 20 years on?). And pro-actively trying to manage stresses are important, because unmanaged stress can lead to a propensity to make more mistakes; make it hard to think clearly; and cloud your sense of what you're trying to build for the long-term, which leads to demotivation, despair, and closing your business.

So Kemi Bowley, this is the fuller response I promised you in that Mindset for Success session - the reasons I think my business has outlast 90% of all others are:

- I'm curious;

- I try and be pessimistic;

- I try and say yes to everything;

- I'm always looking for a way out;

- and in enduring everything that's tries to knock my business/me over, I've created new models of resilience.

To everyone else reading this, I'd be interested to know what it is that you think has helped your business get to the age it is today (especially when so many businesses that start will be gone within the first 36 months of their launching). 

in praise of the laundrette

In the past, I've waxed lyrical about how great libraries are.

And if you've ever been on any sessions I'd led about getting to grips with bookkeeping, or feeling more confident in how you can understand accounts, you'll know I also rave about museums too.

But I now want to create a trilogy of destinations that are often overlooked, but which we should all really recognise and value more - laundrettes.

Once a bastion of high streets, they still offer a critical and unparalleled role in our communities, when you consider what they represent and offer (beyond the ability to do a large load): 

• they are meeting places = offering people a neutral space to come together and so help tackle social isolation, and facilitate community cohesion through enabling people to share time, and conversations together who might not otherwise meet.  
• they are warm spaces = in an age of increasing fuel poverty, a bank of tumble dryers will definitely keep the chill off, without having to use energy to turn on additional heaters.
• they help us reduce carbon emissions and reduce environmental impacts = every so often, I hear about a community somewhere that's launching a tool library (how often do you really need to have a power drill?) Surely better in lots of ways to be able to borrow one occasionally, rather than buying it and only using it once a year. Laundrettes offer us that option of shared equipment that we all need to varying degrees of frequency, but may struggle to otherwise (1) have the space for, or (2) afford.
• they act as community hubs = no laundrette I've ever visited has ever not had noticeboards and information about local events and services.
• they offer economic inclusion = machines are usually not contactless, instead relying on coins. And that's important, because here in the UK, over 1 million people don't have a bank account (about 1 person in every 70).
• And on a purely personal note, who doesn't love the smell of freshly laundered sheets..?

So please - next time you're passing one, even if you don't have any bags of laundry with you that need a quick rinse, just as with libraries and museums, step inside and savour them.

They've been closing at the rate of about 4 every week for the last 45 years - when the last one goes, we'll loose all of the above, and probably won't realise just how important they were until it's too late...

why freelancers are so (unnecessarily?) self-critical

Reflecting with fellow freelancers as part of a recent networking get-together, we all shared and identified that we're really self-critical and unforgiving of ourselves when we get things wrong - yet are often far more understanding and accepting of others when they do...

My idea about the usual way we can reconcile this, is to do with our not being part of regular teams (in the ways that our salaried counterparts are) - in not having access to appraisals, regular training activities, or all of the other ongoing feedback that can come on a daily basis in micro interactions, we're lacking the perspective to make more sense of our own experiences. And we're more tolerant of others because we don't have the job security our salaried counterparts have, so are more concerned to maintain and protect relationships with have with clients. 

But I think there's actually something else that's equally, if not more, important in understanding this apparent contradiction: because we're not part of a regular team/workplace, we don't get to see all the mistakes other people make everyday that they're either getting away with, or turn out not to be that much of a problem after all.

Without the openness about mistakes and failures, we surely risk entrenching ourselves in echo chambers of our own mistakes - with no recourse to judge how far our errors and lapses really are that 'bad' in comparison to other peoples', we'll increasingly and unnecessarily chastise ourselves to our own detriment?  

all business owners and entrepreneurs should do car-boot sales once in a while

Some readers of this blog may recall that in the past I've written about how I try and keep my hand in at running a market stall from time to time...

https://thirdsectorexpert.blogspot.com/2011/01/doing-del-boy.html 

But recently, I broke my car boot virginity, and with my wife (who's a more seasoned pro at these things) filled the back of the car and set off at crazy o'clock in the morning to unload the contents in a field alongside others, in hopes of being able to generate a few quid from things which we can't offer a home for anyone - but which we thought might still be of value and enjoyment to others.

And whilst standing in a field all day, hoping that passing strangers will stop by our pitch and help us not have quite so much stuff to re-pack into the car at the end of the day might not sound that appealing to some, it was an experience that I'm glad I indulged in (and will probably try and do again in the future):

- it highlighted the changing patterns in our society of how we consume/do business: for example, no-one buys CDs and DVDs, because these media are now available on streaming services;

- it re-enforced how hard it is to sell clothes (however cheaply you offer them), as fast fashion makes it so easy to buy on line (and have option to return without cost);

- and it also evidenced how increasingly time poor people are: comments from people in our neighbouring cars and pitches who've been doing it regularly for years, all agreed that there are far fewer people browsing than used to.

But, having a pitch at a car boot sale also reassured me that as much as things are changing (see above), some things will remain as true today and tomorrow as they did when I was a kid - 

* parents are always keen to encourage their kids to get into reading actual physical books;

* cash retains a place in how we do trade;

* and we'll always want an ice cream from the van...

being all things to all people - the realities of being self employed and an unpaid carer

This post was written at the start of carers week 2023 - and is based on conversations amongst freelancers and owners of small businesses at events hosted by Freelance Heroes and Atomicon23.

It is not intended to offer definitive, medical, or legal counsel or guidance - but reflect emergent themes and issues that may be of encouragement and support to others; and possibly also highlight future wider policy development needs. 

My name is Adrian, and I'm an unpaid carer for my adult step-child, as well as being a freelance business consultant.

In my head that makes me sound like I'm at an alcoholics anonymous meeting, but maybe it's not too dissimilar: people often struggle to feel comfortable in knowing how to best behave in the company of an alcoholic, and similarly with someone who's an unpaid carer (unless you're living it day to day, it can be hard to fully appreciate the realities of the identities and roles that you hold and manage as such).

But unlike my counterparts who are in salaried, direct employment, there are no legal recognitions for me as an unpaid carer in my (paid) work; and no data on how many other people like me there are - in preparing to host the roundtable discussions that this blog is based on, the Office of National Statistics, the Labour Force Survey, and ipse all revealed that there is no data about how many people who are self-employed/business owners are also unpaid carers. 

A rough-cut extrapolation of data I could find about unpaid carers in general, and different models of employment, might seem to suggest that roughly 10% of the self-employed are also unpaid carers (that's about half a million people!), and of those, less than 1 in 10 have access to any support for themselves in these roles - and as freelancers, we're more likely to be in poverty if we're an unpaid carer than if we were salaried.

Starting to initially explore these issues with groups of fellow freelancers, small business owners, and sole traders who are also unpaid carers like me, saw the following emerge and being shared:

 

Busting accepted wisdom about origin stories

It can be easy to assume that people who are unpaid carers chose to become self-employed to offer themselves more flexibility around their unpaid caring role - but what came out of the discussions, is that this wasn't always the case.

Often, people took on the mantle of an unpaid carer role after having been self-employed for many years, and as a result subsequently found they needed support with redeveloping how they worked in order to be able to maintain their earnings to continue to support themselves and their families (but this isn't offered/available to them).

Seeing it coming

In one of the roundtables, a person shared how they had joined the conversation to learn from others' experiences because they had recently recognised that in future years, they will need to be more actively involved in supporting the care of their parents. 

They were trying to be pro-active in managing the impact that becoming an unpaid carer would have on themselves, their family, and their business by better understanding the likely realities they will experience when they do. As a result, they hoped to be able to best plan to mitigate the impacts of this - and this roundtable had offered them the first opportunity to be able to do this in any meaningful way.

The need for a better handbook

Through sharing their experiences, people agreed that there was much about being an unpaid carer that they wish they had know sooner, but which no-one had told them (for example - the benefits of being able to be formally recognised and registered as a carer for a family member). 

While there is knowledge out there, it can be hard to navigate and identify ("you don't know what you need to know, so don't know what questions to ask").  People are frequently relying on friends and family for informal (emotional) support for themselves, but as encouraging as these people might be, they rarely know of practical and pre-existing systems and processes that unpaid carers can apply to, but often aren't told about.

The limiting of business growth and potential

A common recurring practicality about being an unpaid carer that was shared, was how it meant that the businesses we had created all had to be limited in terms of their potential to grow in order to honour our caring responsibilities - and with that, our ability to innovate and develop new services and offers in the marketplace.

Whilst this is obviously a personal decision that all unpaid carers find ways to eventually reconcile, this speaks to the impact of the need for unpaid care to our wider economy.

The cost to our personal futures

As well as the financial impact that being an unpaid carer creates through loss of earnings (which is not mitigated through carers allowance were it is able to be awarded), there was also concern about how little support there is for us to be able to access for ourselves in this role - one person shared how becoming an unpaid carer had led to them being diagnosed with mental ill health, and being subsequently needing to be prescribed anti-depressants.

The emotional stresses that unpaid care places on us therefore also affects the future we might have otherwise experienced for ourselves, through it is affecting our well-being today. 

The need for supportive clients

A tension was briefly explored around our relationships with our clients as small business owners - specifically, how far we're open with them about our identify and priorities as an unpaid carer, and how this tension can be managed in how we work with them. As freelancers, our clients come to us to solve problems quickly, responsively, and without adding to their own existing complexity, so revealing we may need to drop them at no notice because of a caring need, may understandably 'spook' them a little...

People shared how their clients were generally sympathetic and flexible in work agreed - but not every business that commissions us will be able to be such; which loops us back to the limiting on our business' potential that being an unpaid carer can entail.

Taking back control

Being self-employed often means we face a barrage of external stressors because of the ever-changing circumstances we all experience that are instigated by others (clients, government, etc) - and being an unpaid carer only exacerbates these through the additional unknowns of how the child, parent, or sibling we care for may respond on any given day to any given event, how reviews of their care or support plans may trigger new complications, and so on.

The roundtables therefore also tried to look at how we're approaching supporting ourselves, and in doing so, gain a little more control over our own lives:

- counselling support from the FSB was mentioned as one of their member benefits, that one person had made use of;

- one person shared how they had chosen to deliberately limit the earnings of their business to reduce the stress on having to work with multiple clients on different deadlines which would otherwise be constantly competing with the needs of their child, that they are the unpaid carer for;

- taking out a private health care plan to be able to arrange GP appointments, any procedures, etc at times that suited them, rather than playing the lottery of NHS scheduling and waiting lists, was shared by someone else;

- registering as a limited company, rather than remaining a sole trader, was shared as a way one person had approached reducing the stress they were feeling about the risks in their business alongside being an unpaid carer.

But these roundtables weren't all 'doom and gloom' as might start to be otherwise interpreted based on the above:

- there was also news about 'Cornerstone', a new emergent peer community for freelancers who are also unpaid carers being created;  

- gratitude was expressed for people having the opportunity to (briefly) share time with their peers, and be edified from hearing that what they were experiencing wasn't unique to them; 

- and people also valued how being an unpaid carer creates space for us to reflect on our own personal identities as human beings.

If you're an unpaid carer you may find the below sites of help (as well as links in the various parts of the blog above):

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/looking-after-people/carers-help-and-support/

https://www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/help-for-carers

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/

I'm also happy to offer to speak with any fellow small business owners, sole traders, and freelancers to swap stories that may be of mutual benefit - as well as with any sector or national bodies to further explore potential policy and initiatives that may address some of the themes and issues these roundtables identified:

- the impact to the economy of 500,000 businesses not being able to achieve their potential;

- the need for business disruption to be avoided when small business owners transition into unpaid care roles;

- how freelancers can be better supported to access support/avoid poverty when becoming unpaid carers.

UPDATE 3rd AUG 2023:

Published after these round tables, and blog was written up, JRF have undertaken some further research into this, and found that as unpaid carers who are also freelance/self-employed/small business owners, we pay a #CaringPenalty (suffer lost earnings) of nearly £10,000 every year!

- any wonder so many of us are finding ourselves being pushed into poverty?

https://www.jrf.org.uk/report/caring-penalty

How people's forgetfulness is costing me a family home (or, maybe it's time I stopped trying to be so idealistic?)

A few years ago, I started to track how much time I'd 'lost' from people forgetting to turn up to meetings that they'd asked for with me, or from groups who'd booked me to run workshops for them, only to cancel them the day before.

My reason for this wasn't motivated by spite or indignation, but rather to try and quantify and understand the extent of the impact of such occurrences on my business; and what that meant in turn for how well I could earn money to support my family.

http://thirdsectorexpert.blogspot.com/2020/06/to-everyone-who-forgot-to-turn-up-to.html 

The first time I reported this figure was in 2020 - and it a showed a whopping £4,560 over the year; equivalent to treating my family to a meal out once a week every week of the year.

Sadly, that figure has continued to rise year on year, and since 2020 it's jumped by over 80% to the latest reported value of £8,325!

That's about £160 a week that I otherwise could have earned - nearly £700 a month: almost the average cost of renting a family home in the UK! 

Over the last 18 years since I've become self employed, I've always tried to practice the value of grace in different ways - which to date, includes not penalising people who are causing me to incur these lost earnings (which, frankly, would be very welcome in my bank account in light of current inflationary and cost of living pressures). I could have been charging them a percentage of what I would have otherwise realised from working with them in those periods of time: a common practice in the terms and conditions amongst my fellow consultants and training providers.

But in light of people and groups seeming to be becoming more dismissive of recognising the impact (hurt) that their not trying to make effort to have the courtesy of letting me know when they know that they they're not going to be able to spend the time with me that they'd agreed to, and with sufficient notice for it not to cause me further financial distress, maybe I need to start introducing some 'nudges' in my own T&C's?

And that sucks - because, as I wrote before, I'm aware of how messy and unpredictable the world can be at times, and we can't always know when we're going to be knocked sideways. But surely, if we all know how much we're all struggling, we should at least be trying to make an effort to recognise when a change in our own circumstances may affect others, by having the courtesy to give each other a quick heads-up?

Perhaps by starting to include some penalties in how I agree to work with people, that might help to start to nudge behaviours so that we can all become a little more sympathetic, understanding, and supportive of each other?

But doing so would mean I'm starting to compromise on what I try and hold as one of my core values - perhaps after 18 years it's time I accepted that I can't carry on being so idealistic?

imposters in the RSA

I was recently asked to give a talk about some of the ideas in my book about imposter syndrome by the RSA North, as part of their ongoing Coffeehouse programme which seeks to spread thinking and insights to help create more/better change throughout our communities.

Having been approached to become a Fellow in 2007 by direct invitation from the Society (to my knowledge, the only such instance - everyone else I meet who's connected to the RSA became a Fellow through either direct personal application, or being nominated by an existing Fellow!), I've always been encouraged by the profile and ideas of other people that they've helped to share, so to now be part of that recognised body of changemakers who they offer a platform to, is an exciting validation of my own!

But unlike previous invitations I've received to date from sector bodies to lead conversations based on the ideas in the book, this time the format was much more about my conveying a summation of my research and arguments, followed by a short Q&A.

Rather than re-hash what I shared in my presentation (that's all available through either reading the book, or dipping in and out of the 2-min videos on my YouTube channel's playlist), I wanted to try and capture some of what people shared in response to what I brought, and the initial conversations that started to flow from it:

• Many people in the session felt that they don't have easy access to opportunities to talk about any feelings of self-doubt in constructive ways. As a result, people can live with feelings of imposterism for prolonged periods of time, unsure of how to resolve them, and this can create ongoing damage and distress for them.  
• Imposter Syndrome can sometimes be 'weaponised' by others against us: if we start to exhibit skill and potential that a colleague feels threatened by, it can be easier for them to seek to undermine our confidence to maintain their position, rather than 'rise to the challenge' and 'level up their own game'.
• If a person feels that they've never experienced feelings of self-doubt/imposterism, then this may be a sign that they could have psychopathic traits. However, this does not automatically mean that such people are automatically dangerous or destructive...
• A lack of role models for a person in new or emerging roles (which can be a frequent 'root cause' of feelings of imposterism developing within someone), can sometimes be mitigated through a carefully designed mentoring or coaching relationship.

But as always with opportunities like this to reflect on the books ideas with others - to gain feedback, critique, and seek to further build on them, the time goes all too quickly. And the above capture offers tantalising hints at future conversations we might like to explore more fully and deeply - so, if you were in that lunchtime talk, and want to carry on the discussion, or you'd like to reflect on some of your own experiences and thinking about any of the above, I'd be very happy to find a time to chat over a cuppa (virtual or otherwise!).

why I always answer "whiskey" when people ask me about how I manage my mental wellbeing

As sole traders and small business owners, it's generally accepted that our mental wellbeing and health is under greater pressure and strain than our salaried counterparts':

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8393630/ 

https://www.vice.com/en/article/avaw7j/freelance-mental-health-self-employed 

One of the outcomes of the Covid pandemic, is that we all suddenly felt we had enough of a shared excuse to start to talk about this more openly and honestly - and having done for so for a year or two, a habit seems to have been established that it's now taken as read that any network, professional body, or business support programme will create space for us to have conversations about the stuff that's going on in our heads.

Inevitably, when such times arise, and I'm in the room (physically or virtually), someone always asks people to share with everyone else what their personal practices are for their mental wellbeing. And once you've been part of a few such conversations, you'll start to spot recurring trends: walking; listening to music; cooking; and such like. 

But my response always seems to shock and stun each such group when it comes to my turn.

I talk about whiskey. 

When I recognise that my anxiety and stress is building, I sometimes pour myself a whiskey - and then see how long I can take to drink it: not in terms of speed, but in terms of the length of time.

You see, a good whiskey is distilled to be savoured and enjoyed slowly: if you drink it too quickly, you miss out on the flavours, aromas, and sensations that people have spent generations developing the skills to impart in these small glasses of amber liquid.

And as most of the other examples people share in how they self-manage their own mental well-being involve practices that force them to slow down, to be more focussed and immersed in a single activity, the way that whiskey is crafted would seem to equally achieve these broad approaches of others' practices. 

A good aged single malt whiskey forces you to do in order to fully appreciate and enjoy it (and with inflation, recession, etc it's getting harder to afford, so I also don't want to squander it!).

But - I'm also keenly aware that for some people, alcohol is not the right solution for them for a number of valid reasons. 

I'm not sharing my love of whiskey here in an attempt to try and encourage people to drink/drink more, but to highlight that in how we manage our mental well-being there are lots of options and ideas you can adopt and try. What works for you, might not work for me, because our respective brains are wired differently to each other (see pic - a scan a few years ago highlighted that there's a slight 'hole' in mine that most other people don't have!)

When we feel overwhelmed and overloaded it can feel easier to 'go with the pack' and do what everyone else does in such times of rising panic. But don't be afraid to experiment and find what works best for you, and when you do - don't feel you should apologise for it because other people don't agree with it: celebrate it and use it to try and help you enjoy the best life you can. 

It's that time to get nostalgic again

So, here we are - it's the end of another year, and traditionally a time to reflect and reminisce about the period that's just been since the last time we did this: what we've learnt, what we wished we'd known sooner, and the hopes we'll take with us into 2023...

Previously, I've approached this through looking at what generated the most interest/uproar across my social media channels, but this year I had the opportunity to spend a morning with fellow facilitators as part of an informal process with Paul Kelly and Caroline Jessop of IAF England and Wales fame.

Everyone in the session all seemed to agree how well structured it was, and how expertly guided we felt we'd been (possibly with the exception of Paul's ever-changing Christmas jumpers), and whilst others will be sharing on their own blogs, etc their views of it, I wanted to capture the reflections I took from it about myself and my business over the year that's been 2022, here: 

CPD

I realise that the most beneficial things I've found this year with regards to my own professional CPD have been:

1) getting interviewed for various people's podcast series and radio shows* - it's a fascinating way to reflect on what I think I know, how I came to acquire this 'special knowledge', how it's influenced and continues to influence how I think, and so much more...

2) start a TikTok channel - like with interviews, it's such a wholly different way of having to approach how you think you know what you do; and with so much encouragement to indulge your creative impulses, I can see why some people are so deep into this social media channel...

NETWORKING

We often think of (formal) networking as a semi-regular forum or group we check-in with either virtually or in person. And reflecting on my involvement with several over the year has reminded me how important they are as a source of mutual and emotional encouragement.

However, it also struck me that as valuable as such support is, it's usually with the same people (otherwise it wouldn't work) - what I've also experienced this year are a couple of 'exceptional events' (including being asked to draft an opinion piece on why CICs may have been the worst thing to have ever happened for the social enterprise movement, by an international media agency). These generated new opportunities to meet and speak with people who would normally be outside of my circles, and only with hindsight do I realise how reactionary I was in exploring these (note to self: be more organised and methodical next time!). 

And whilst these new contacts are exciting, they're as equally scary (owing to the pay grade that some of these people operate at!), so knowing that there's a community I can check-back in with for some encouragement and assurance around them is important also... 

WALKING

The session concluded with trying to look forwards, having now looking back - and generating an analogy for what we want to achieve in our business over the coming year.

Mine turned out to represent how I've always tried to approach my professional ways of working - walking:

- it's intentional; is recognised in supporting our well-being; allows us to explore new places; and has moments of serendipity in the people we encounter as we travel in this way.

- But of course, there's also a balance to this in that walking also always includes a risk that we might get lost, or find ourselves ill-prepared for rapidly changing circumstances (such as it starting to rain, but when we left it was sunny so we didn't bring a coat or brolly...)

Overall, it was a morning I'm glad I invested in with my peers, and will definitely be looking out for opportunities to again when the end of the years start to roll around again in 2023, 2024, 2025...

* podcasts and radio shows I've appeared on this year:

We're not selling shoes - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/6-adrian-ashton-and-focusing-on-relationships-not/id1620033728?i=1000558069656 

Facilitation stories - https://facilitationstories.libsyn.com/fs42-designing-the-space-for-others-to-learn-in-conferences 

and Facilitation Stories: FS50 Wrapping Up the Year Reflecting on Our Meetups 

Connections radio - https://wiz-media.co.uk/2022/12/08/the-business-of-surviving-flooding/ 

when leaders are struck by doubt, it's their whole organisation and communities that suffer, not just them..

Locality (the sector body who support and advocate for local community organisations of all types) recently invited me to be part of the line up for their ongoing 'lunch and learn' programme, which sees leaders of all types of community businesses, charities, social enterprise, etc come together to reflect on shared issues.

As a long standing member of this body (I remember when Steve Wyler was promoting it as part of a tour of conferences he was doing several decades ago after it was first formed!), it seemed a good opportunity to share some of my thinking around imposter syndrome - and in turn, have that challenged and expanded through the stories and experiences of leaders of different local communities of all types.

And as in previous instances where sector bodies have invited me to facilitate conversation around the topic of 'imposterism' with their respective constituencies, I wanted to share a summary of my notes so that the learning and insights people offered each other might have opportunity to be of benefit to others who weren't otherwise able to be part of it as it happened.

Having led similar conversations in other sectors, what struck me initially was the overlaps and similarity in how people shared that feeling like an imposter had impacted on them:

- it meant that they hadn't put themselves forward for new opportunities; 

- it had stopped them from speaking out, or challenging others, in the belief that the other person(s) were more expert and qualified than they were;

- it undermined relationships people felt they were able to create and manage with their colleagues, as they felt that their team mates were seeing the person to be a 'fraud' in the same way that they saw themselves;

- some recognised that bouts of anxiety are quicker to surface whenever any crises in personal or professional circumstances arise, or we realise that "maybe we could have done that better, after all..."

What also struck me was that the ways in which people initially shared how they'd approached managing these feelings to date also echoed the practices that people in other sectors use.

Such overlap in how these feelings impact on how people feel they're able to do their jobs, and in how they try and manage them, suggests that we shouldn't only be looking to our immediate peers in our own sectors for encouragement and support - it could be equally valuable from anywhere?

However, there was an additional dimension to this conversation that I was keen to explore with participants - most of the published material on imposter syndrome seems to almost exclusively focussed on the individual experiencing the feelings of doubt. But if a leader (such as the people in this shared conversation) is so afflicted, what does this mean for their wider organisation?

This prompt drew out some observations and ideas which perhaps aren't that surprising when you start to think this through:

- because they doubted their own judgement, people's decision-making abilities were compromised which meant that things sometimes take longer to be agreed or enacted than they might otherwise have needed to. And in turn, this means greater costs are incurred from delays or missed opportunities; 

- as leaders, people look to them to model behaviours and identify 'norms' in that organisation: if feelings of imposterism are limiting that leaders' ability to be decisive, pro-active, speak out, etc, then these behaviours (or rather, lack thereof) can quickly spread to the detriment of the organisation delivering on what it's supposed to be.

The conversation then moved back to revisit the ways in which people had initially shared how they are/have approached managing feelings of doubt to date, and in particular, seeing if there may be factors that are specific to leaders of community organisations that might mean they need a different set of tools and resources.

Two key themes seemed to emerge from this:

1) the inability to feel that as a leader, you are able to receive robust and honest feedback on your performance (i.e. no matter how you ask your colleagues, they'll always say they think you're a great boss, regardless of what they may actually think). And without such validations or encouragements to challenge them, leaders can quickly find themselves in a lonely vacuum where damaging self-perceptions can become quickly entrenched;

2) as leaders, we're looked to by our colleagues for support and encouragement to them. Because of the nature of some of the responsibilities we may hold in our leadership role, we can't easily (if ever) feel able to be fully and completely open and honest with our team about how we may be feeling in turn. We therefore need a space where we can meet with equals in honesty, safety, and openness, to be able to voice these feelings, as part of reconsidering them.

And it's this last point that affirmed why Locality's Lunch and Learn series is so important and needed; and also why I'm glad that I say "yes" to every invitation I receive to speak about my book - because I always use it as an opportunity not to try and flog more copies of it (although all sales are always gratefully received), but rather because it means that a body of people will gain an opportunity to have a shared conversation about something that's currently holding them back, or acting to the detriment of themselves and their wider organisations.

(and if you want to know about the book that prompted Locality to ask me to guest lead this session: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09V25N8G6) 

could legal company forms help protect my mental wellbeing?

The date of my publishing this post on my blog (Oct 10th) marks World Mental Health day - a time when there are floods of other posts, tweets, emails, etc being circulated, so I don't expect that this will catch too many people's attention, but I've always stated that this blog is in part my 'thinking aloud space' - and this post relates to me 'thinking aloud' about an aspect of my mental wellbeing, and how I try and best manage it.

Firstly - as background to to the title of this post, I've always said that I prefer being a sole trader instead of incorporating myself as a limited company (as conventional wisdom would suggest I should). 

This isn't just because I try and be unconventional, but also in remaining a sole trader, I have to pay more tax on my income and earnings that a company director or salaried employee would (and I think that paying tax is actually a good idea). It also means that technically, I've unlimited personal liability - I can't easily "wash my hands" of a problematic contract by simply dissolving a company (in whose name the contract etc, would be, meaning that nothing of the fall out would legally stick to me). As such, it forces me to try and take greater care in how I approach my work and also hopefully sends a message to those I work with that in seeking to establish trust and rapport with them, I'm willing to make myself very vulnerable personally. This element of personal risk is something I also try and further manage through my professional insurance policies, and how I seek to structure and maintain relationships with each person and organisation I find myself working with.

But it's world mental health day, so I'm taking this opportunity to revisit the above position about my not being incorporated to review it from a new perspective - my mental wellbeing.

As a sole trader, parent, carer, etc etc (we all have multiple identities - some of which are more secret than others...), I'm very conscious of trying to best manage my own health and wellbeing, including my mental health. And this list of roles I hold each brings its own tensions, stresses, anxieties, etc that aren't always easy to 'turn off' - but I've always sought to harness what some might see as negative or harmful emotional states that arise from them, to generate responses that help motivate and keep me moving forwards.  

Now, from time to time, I try and take stock of how I'm doing in managing the above - always with a view to trying to see if there might be ways to change a practice or habit that could help  further mitigate or reduce a recognised stressor in/on myself.

And it's the idea of company forms that I'm currently trying to consider to this end - a limited company exists as a 'person' separate to me. It's therefore that person, not me, who would sign contracts, agree terms and conditions, etc - so in the event of the worst coming to pass in my delivering a piece of work (the client decides to sue me), then I could give notice of dissolving the company, and not be concerned about the spectre of potential personal bankruptcy.

However... that's something of a 'nuclear option': I'd only be able to use this fall back position once, because if so 'activated' in that worst case scenario, then all my other business activities linked and associated to and through the company would also cease to be.  And if I then recontacted everyone in my current/original guise of being a sole trader, it would look like I was trying to duck responsibilities, be unethical, and generally exhibit the sort of behaviours that as a society, we decry when we see some larger corporates doing...

And then there's the question of how I'd mitigate the risk that having such a legally distanced structured from the people I'm working with might mean in terms of my becoming complacent in my relationships with them - one of the main reasons I'm currently maintaining my status as a sole trader.

 

So, on balance, I'm not sure that having identified this option I can actually adopt it - in theory it would offer me an assurance against the 'worst case scenario', and so help reduce a stressor and anxiety. But in practice if I ever needed to enact it, it would mean that I'd have to shut all my work down and not be able to easily restart working in the way I am now - in much the same way that if I were sued as a sole trader (and my insurance providers felt I'd not acted with sufficient degree of professional conduct with the upset client in order to cover the claim), I'd not be able to easily restart working in the way I am now. 

'Killing' a company that I owned could also impact on my personal credit rating (in the same way that getting personally sued might also) - so that consideration also balances itself out.

  

But it's an interesting perspective on the question that every sole trader and freelancer faces at some point - of whether to incorporate themselves as a limited company; but from a very different starting point. A perspective that seems timely with it being world mental health day.

However, as will all of my 'thinking aloud' posts that I make here in this blog, I'd be interested and keen to hear what holes people might be able to pick in my above 'workings out', and if there's anything that I've missed in thinking this through?  

how reading in the bath changes the world

I was recently invited by those nice people at Social Value UK to be the 'main attraction' in an open lunchtime conversation about how we might understand the ways in which the things we write (blogs, books, manifestos, etc) actually create change amongst the people who read them.

This was, in part, prompted by my openly committing earlier this year to be deliberately seeking to identify the impacts that my book on imposter syndrome is creating - over the last few months, I've started to capture evidences and illustrations of some of the changes that people are experiencing and adopting as a result of engaging with my ideas in the book. This open conversation therefore allowed me an opportunity to reflect with fellow social value and impact practitioners on these emergent practices and approaches to challenge my own thinking to date, and any bias that may be creeping into my 'navel gazing'...

The below summarises what I took from the conversation as encouragement, challenge, and further provocation. It's shared in hopes of helping to continue this conversation, and also capture the insights and ideas shared for the benefit of others:

"Impact should be able to be recognised and celebrated, even if can't be evidenced" - there's often a fervour to capture feedback forms, survey responses, and such like in the rush to prove that good things have happened. But as any good scientist knows, the very act of observing something changes its nature, so sometimes we should be OK with being able to accept and acknowledge impacts on faith, without needing to see reams of data and charts behind the assertion?

"All impact is subjective" - we live in a world of very few moral absolutes: what is important for me is less so for you (think Marmite), so how should we recognise and prioritise the impacts that our words create? To take this idea further - for what purpose are we wanting to understand the impact that our book is creating?  For me, that's actually easy to answer: I never had any intentions to write or publish a book - rather to 'scratch an itch' about an idea, so in the spirit of lifelong learning, I'm genuinely interested to see what it causes. This is because that will ultimately help me better decide if there should be a 2nd edition, a book about something else, or I should hang up my author's quill altogether... 

"Will we still be reading books in 200 years time?" - the impact of books can echo far further into the future than our current ways of considering impact can hope to capture - Charles Dickens wrote books 200 years ago that still speak to us today as encouragement and challenge, as do the works of Shakespeare from 400 years ago... Should we then, at least, hope that the books we write today will still be pertinent to what it means to be human and how we live our lives in the centuries to come?  Unless, that is, we're wanting to create impact around a specific current issue - because if our words work in the way we anticipate they will, then they it will no longer be of relevance or interest beyond the next generation. Which takes us to the next point...

"Why are we writing in the first place?" - what impact are we hoping to create from the books we write? We know that Dickens and Shakespeare, as well as writing for the entertainment of others, sought to use their books as ways to try and influence societal practices and cultures that they felt uncomfortable with. And we know that some writers today are seeking to influence lifestyles and worldviews to mitigate climate damage, and/or help us better think about our relationships with technology. But I wrote my book without any specific intended impact in mind that it would create in others, other than to try and widen conversations people had about feelings of imposterism - as authors, do we need to have a specific intention of how our words will create impact (although it might be easier to track progress against them if we do)?

"Are we wanting to change the reader, or change their world?" - and to extend this idea about the impacts we seek to create in others - are these impacts focussed on the individual who reads the book (in that the changes they subsequently make benefit them), or are they more altruistic in seeking to influence the readers' behaviour so that they will in turn magnify and create benefits primarily for others around them?

"How far should we hold responsibility for what we write?" - but if we talk of intended impacts, we also need to consider unintended impacts: after all, as an author, we can't know or control how what we write will be read by others, understood by them, or selectively referenced to support their own agendas and positions. The way we publish can have some sway in mitigating this (self-publishing means that the authors 'voice' hasn't been edited, censored, or rephrased at the request of an editor), but it doesn't completely resolve it.  

"What's the impact of a slogan?" - how far does the medium and format of written words also influence change in/for people - for example, can slogans on tee-shirts have the same impact on a person's life as a book that they read?

"But what about the author?" -  so far, we've considered impact of the book (or similar) on the people who are reading it - what about the impact on the author who writes it? What changes and benefits do they gain through this process (and how far should we be concerned about the benefits gained by this key stakeholder to the book?)

"Be the best stalker you can be" - Whilst the above all prompt further thought and reflection, the conversation also turned to practical matters - if you publish a book, you don't have any automatic way of knowing who's read it or who they've shared it with (outputs); how it's engaged them emotionally, and through that, prompted them to make changes in their circumstances (outcomes); and what changes in their life as a result (impact). This gave rise to some salutary reminders about not over-claiming impacts (after all, we don't know what people have also been engaging with alongside reading our book). Also, that comments people make in reviews about intentions can't be taken as assurance of subsequent changes they'll make in their future behaviours; and how do we even hear about what people are saying and sharing if we're not part of their networks?  

I can't speak (or write!) for the others who were part of the conversation - although I hope that they'll find ways to share with others what they took from this conversation in turn. But for me, I found it a very encouraging and progressive conversation that's given me plenty to keep reflecting on as I continue to seek to understand how proud or shamed I should be by the pocket-book I accidently wrote.

And for anyone wondering if anyone really did join us from their bath - and so qualified for a free copy of my book: hats (or rather, shower-caps) off to Charlotte Osterman of Social Value UK:

Molotov cocktails, jelly babies, onions, and handfuls of sand - how people I work with really see me...

As part of my ongoing CPD*, I commit to an adapted360-degree feedback process on myself every couple of years. But instead of sending out questionnaires or survey forms, I ask people 1 question – this year, that question was

“if there was to be a statue made of me, what would you expect to see it holding in its hand?”

People offered a wide range of accessories, but all seem to relate to two themes:

* My playful nature, and encouragement that we should all try to find more moments of enjoyment in what we do;

* My desire to encourage and support others in their journeys and roles.

This seems to be aptly illustrated by the most commonly referenced items being a fez, and my book on imposter syndrome.

 

However, there was also a wide of other creative ideas, and I felt it only proper to share these on, to see if people feel these might also be fitting decorations to a form of me:

- lego bricks

- a business award

- Post it notes

- sand (because it represents my being able to hold lots of tiny details which most others can’t retain)

- a light sabre

- jelly babies

- a cup of water (because its essential, life affirming, and bountiful – although personally I’d prefer it to have been a glass of whiskey…)

- weird glasses (to convey my ‘quirkiness’)

- a rubicks cube (which co-incidentally I have a lego version of one)

- a Molotov cocktail (because I make very policy-based subjects incredibly entertaining and, drawing comparison with the revolutionary symbol of the Molotov, I’ve been unafraid to do this by myself for almost 20 years.

- a fedora (don’t worry Tony Robinson, you’ll always be the king of the fedora for me!)

- a sealed envelope with all the answers inside (not for me to give to you, but to encourage you that there are answers that are right for you, and I’ll help you work through things to get to yours in the end)

- someone else’s hand (to illustrate my helping other people)

- an onion (because it has many layers, it has a heart, it has a tough skin, it is essential to most recipes, it represents the coming together of good food and good people, it is versatile, it is important to all sectors of society)

But one person’s response described a vista, that’s making me think that I should be considering a portrait, rather than a statute:

"If there was ever a statue to be made of the coolest consultant in town, I would imagine it would resemble the eternal image I have etched into my hippocampus of Adrian, it would be one of a man wearing a red fez hat standing proudly on top of a really complicated looking but easily assembled lego structure holding a magnifying glass as he examines a thin green book!!....an eccentric who finds solutions to the most complicated of conundrums with supernatural attention to detail, the man the myth the legend that is Adrian Ashton"

 

And the idea of a portrait might also help resolve another conundrum about my being ‘statue-d’ I’d not considered: someone asked what it would be cast in: gilt, marble, iron or papier mâché; and if it would be life size or larger than life?

*CPD = not what you think it stands for...