How did I get here?

I take an unusual approach to helping people understand the balance sheet part of their accounts: I play the Talking Head's song "once in a lifetime", and explain how the lyrics actually explain how this strange set of numbers can be read and understood easily by anyone.

And a core part of this activity is a lyric in the song - "how did I get here?".

But this isn't a post about accounts or David Byrne - instead, it's a roundabout why of introducing a question I was asked by an early-stage entrepreneur, as part of a Mindset for Success gathering that I was invited to speak at earlier this year. 

When they heard that I'd made it to 20 years (and in doing so, beaten the survival rate of 90% of all other businesses), they were keen to know how I'd managed it: "how did I get here?".

And it's a really good question - because as I reflect on my blog posts, annual impact reports, stories I've shared across the various podcasts I've been invited to guest on, I don't think anyone (including me) has ever really stopped to try and figure out what my 'magic fairy dust' is.

After all, if you've seen other posts I've made on my blog earlier this year, you'll have read the litany of everything I've had to endure and work through during these 2 decades - any one of which by themselves would be sufficient to kill off any business; yet I've managed to not only survive so many such critical moments, but also get to my porcelain anniversary too. So maybe there's something about how I work which might actually be quite relevant to any business?

In the session I offered a few off the cuff thoughts, but promised I'd come back to the question to try and better reflect on it, here on my blog. 

So - I currently think that the reason(s) that I've made it this far are:

1) curiosity

Not the NASA rover on Mars (although part of me is embedded onto its successor, Perseverance, that's currently trundling around the red planet).

I find myself always wondering 'why?' and 'why not?' - and on reflection realise that this has been important in stopping me from becoming complacent or stale in how I work and what I offer.

It's also meant that I've introduced new practices which have gotten me noticed more; helped me change my position on different topics and themes so I've been seen as even more credible and relevant by others; contributed to strengthening my resilience (both personally and professionally); and helped me make better sense of everything I get involved in, which has directly supported me to be able to maintain my motivation through some very trying episodes.

2) being a glass half empty guy

Normally, the person who looks at the glass and says it isn't half-full is labelled the pessimist (and therefore more likely to turn down opportunities, and otherwise miss out on life).

But my looking at the glass and seeing it as being half-empty doesn't stop there - I have an idea that what's important isn't what we see, but what we do because of how we see it: because I see the glass as being already half-empty, it means I'm always looking for the next tap (which also helps in trying to avoid complacency).

It also means that I invest more energy in contingencies (which some people will have heard me refer to as my 'professional paranoia'): because I see the glass as being already half empty, it means that I'll feel any unexpected shocks more greatly because there's less water in the glass to absorb the shock wave from it. And having a range of contingences (even if only half-formed), means I'm more confident in my resilience when things start to go off-track, and able to recover from/endure them more easily and quickly.

3) trying to say yes (not no) more

There's an 'accepted wisdom' offered by many self-proclaimed experts and coaches that we should all be trying to say 'no' more.

But I've always struggled with this, initially because of my parents.

My parents tried to instill a set of good manners in me as I was growing up - which included trying to be helpful, and offering to support people if they ask you nicely.

Over time, this has seen me developing possibly one of the most diverse portfolios of any business consultant / freelancer. And while this comes with its own challenges (how do I best summarise in 1 pithy sentence what it is I do and who its for, when I work with national government departments on new national policy initiatives one day, and a consortium of market traders the next?), it's also meant I've found myself stretching my skills and comfort zones in ways that I wouldn't otherwise have even considered trying to (or seeing the benefit of). This has been really important for how I've kept my business going for this long - because I've fingers in different types of pies, it means that if one type of work/sector/etc starts to slow down, there there's usually another that I can focus more on to keep the lights on.

It's also meant that I was well ahead of the curve when the first lockdowns hit in March 2020, based on the number of national bodies who immediately enlisted my support to remodel how they work and redeliver their respective programmes and services in the world of zoom - up to that point, video calls and events were very niche and usually avoided by many, but I'd been asked to volunteer host a national body's monthly on-line meetups that were held over zoom several years prior. This meant I'd had lots of opportunities to play with/think about how to make this format best work for as many people and circumstances as possible.

4) always looking for escape exits

I have an idea that if you know how you'd be able to quickly exit a situation, contract, etc with the least amount of blood on the carpet, it can help you take more risks - you find you enjoy it more, because you're not worrying about what might happen if things start to go wrong. And you're not worrying because you've already looked at the glass as being half empty, worked out what the major risks might be and put things in place against them, so if things do start to go off-track, you know which glass to break to active your remedy to it.

Taking more risks also means you're confident to push things further; and the more we try new things, the more unexpected and exciting things can start to happen.

      

5) enduring more than my fair share of crises

I've recently shared about the full scope of hits I've had (professionally and personally) over these 20 last years. As any of of these could easily have killed any business, but I'm still here, then I've obviously built a lot of resilience in my business to be able to cope with shocks (which I've also considered in how I've also likened myself to a toilet elsewhere).

How I've thought about, and practiced, developing resilience is covered in other blog posts, podcast conversations, etc elsewhere - but investing in building this protection (both in my business model and personal mindset) is also recognised in various studies and research as helping people to:

• have greater self-awareness (which can help avoid the Dunning-Kruger effect)
• improving your psychological health (so enjoy greater mental well-being)
• better understand, and work with, others
• enhance self-management (really important if you're a freelancer or self-employed, like me)
• better decision making     

As well as the benefits that these would offer to any business, each of these is also recognised as helping people to better manage stress (which might also explain how the long-term stresses I live and work with aren't notably affecting my professional judgements, as evidenced by my business still being here 20 years on?). And pro-actively trying to manage stresses are important, because unmanaged stress can lead to a propensity to make more mistakes; make it hard to think clearly; and cloud your sense of what you're trying to build for the long-term, which leads to demotivation, despair, and closing your business.

So Kemi Bowley, this is the fuller response I promised you in that Mindset for Success session - the reasons I think my business has outlast 90% of all others are:

- I'm curious;

- I try and be pessimistic;

- I try and say yes to everything;

- I'm always looking for a way out;

- and in enduring everything that's tries to knock my business/me over, I've created new models of resilience.

To everyone else reading this, I'd be interested to know what it is that you think has helped your business get to the age it is today (especially when so many businesses that start will be gone within the first 36 months of their launching). 

What's really changed in 20 years?

As some may know, every few years I pose a seemingly random question to clients, collaborators, and other cheerleaders, to help me better understand what I should be trying to do more / less of, in order to be the most helpful and useful consultant I can be.

This is part of a wider CPD framework I've built around myself and business, and is based on the 360-degree feedback model (but in a way that shouldn't mean you need therapy or a solicitor afterwards).

In previous rounds, this has seen me being turned into a statue, donning superhero tights, becoming a painting, throwing Molotov cocktails, growing onions, etc - https://thirdsectorexpert.blogspot.com/search/label/superpowers 

And as this is the 20th year since I set my business up, it feels right to be inviting people to play along with me again in this occasional activity, but I wanted to try a slightly different type of question:

What do you see (or think) my biggest impact (or footprint?) has been over the last 20 years, from what you've seen and known that I've done and been involved in?

(and I'm defining 'impact' as "a marked effect or influence")

And yes - this is a really mean question in a lot of ways, as (1) some of you haven't known me for this full period,  and (2) I'm not looking for the usual 'outcomes' that might typically relate to a specific project or programme.

Instead, what I'm fishing for are things that have shifted in how things are done, work, or thought about; or things that you've seen introduced, changed, or created as a result of something I wrote, did, or said.

They might directly relate to your role or organisation; they might be about things you've seen across a wider community; or at a whole sector level. They could even be what you've heard others say about me. And they can also be less than flattering (not all impact is always good - some new things can push out other stuff that was already there, and which was actually better).

In the interests of trying to keep with the original model of 360-degree feedback, if you'd prefer to anonymise your answer, you can add it through this form here: https://forms.gle/QijEizLHRduB6vFp6 

As always, however you feel you can respond (which can include not at all), it won't affect your standing on my Christmas card list later this year - and I'm looking to collate and share back what this finds after the summer.

And thanks in advance for anything you're able to share and reflect back to me.

After 20 years, people's love affair with CICs seems to waning (or, did anyone else spot that CICs are now becoming rarer in the wild?)

I've always had a personal interest in the government's flagship legal form for social enterprises, the Community Interest Company (CIC), for lots of different reasons.

And I find myself regularly revisiting various published data sets about them - not (always) for idle curiosity, but usually because at least once a year I'm asked to write a feature article about them, or offer comment as part of a national programme or event. And I always try and make sure I'm speaking/writing from a place of actual fact, rather than regurgitating truth illusions about them...

Now, if you know my reputation in relation to CICs, then you may be thinking that I'm about to talk about the data published by the CIC Regulator into how many investigations they've opened in response to complaints and concerned raised with them about the conduct of CICs. Sorry - I'm not, although this number (and trend) is worryingly still zero, despite public frustrations shared by the Fundraising Regulator earlier this year about complaints people are making to them about CICs; and the BBC, Police, and others publicly raising concerns about CICs last year...

I'm instead looking at trend lines - those things you can draw on a chart that show a pattern between a set of numbers that keep changing each year.

I've been tracking data annually, as published by the CIC Regulator, about how many CICs they register each year, and how many they agree to wind up (spoiler: the closure rate of CICs is broadly the same as for all regular private companies, and always seems to have been). 

This is a pretty chaotic chart at first glance, but when you ask excel to plot the 'trend line' (the overall year on year average based on all the numbers across all the years), then there suddenly appears to be a tipping point emerge:

Somewhere around 2023, the average rate at which new CICs are forming (their year on year % growth) became less than the average rate at which they're being wound up (how many are wound up that year as a % of the overall total).

Which means that unless something shifts (and its hard to see what, after the announcement earlier this year that the CIC Regulator will be being wound up itself before the next general election, with no real detail of what this means for existing or future CICs), then CICs will become increasingly fewer in number (based on more of them will be being wound up than are being registered to replace them).

I wondered aloud several years ago if the honeymoon for CICs might be over in light of the exponentially growing number of complaints people were making about them to the CIC Regulator (none of which were ever acted on) - but this data which now shows how people are now choosing them (or not), seems to suggest that 20 years after they were launched as part of a government policy agenda, the honeymoon for them really is now over?

why it's good not to 'niche'

There seems to be an 'accepted wisdom', lots of encouragement, and direction for us as freelancers, sole traders, and micro enterprises, and other types of businesses, to 'niche' - focus on one specialist thing and be the best at offering that. The logic we're given for this is that it will help make us more successful because:

1. it's then quicker and easier to explain what it is you do, and so be able to establish your brand, profile, etc with less effort;
2. it's easier to build a 'higher value' offer (i.e. make more money with less effort);
3. (and probably lots of other things that I forget, because I don't actually like the idea of 'niching' as you're about to learn, so I tend to block out the rest...)

BUT...

I don't 'niche' in what I offer as a business, and I'm not sure what circumstances might have to transpire for me to want to. That's because for me, the risks associating with niching are more than 'blown out of the water' by the benefits of my remaining a 'generalist':

1. Focusing on one thing means I wouldn't be using the full scope of the skill set that I've developed and identified I have over these last 20 years. Niching for me would me killing off parts of who I am and what I can do that might otherwise be interesting, useful, and fun.
2. I have an idea that niching ultimately offers less value to the clients, groups, and people I work with. Being a one-trick pony, however world-shatteringly good I'd be at it, would mean that I can't cross connect ideas and support from other themes and topics for them, to enhance the overall impact of my support to them (which would ultimately leave them poorer from the experience of my having walked alongside them for a time, than they are now).
3. Financially, niching is very risky. While it's true that the more niche you are, then the more likelihood you'd have of being able to have higher charge; the ultra-specialism of your focus and offer would mean that there are fewer potential overall clients who'd want or need your support. And they'd all be in largely the same place - which roughly means that all your eggs are in a single basket (or jars of tahini if you're a vegan), or who are all in same boat. If there's a recession, a shift in market trends, changes legislation or policy, etc, then you may find your market disappears overnight, with nowhere to easily turn to keep yourself going.

Reflecting on all of the above, I'm left wondering of niching is ultimately a 'cop out' for people who don't want to stretch themselves in building their skills as to what they might offer clients. Or if not, that they represent a group of people who are far happier and more comfortable to take risks than me?

If the former, then it's another example of how so many businesses are accepting the guidance they're offered at face value without questioning it, even if it means it's ultimately increasing the risk that they're fail in the future? If it's the latter, then I'm OK with being a relative scaredy-cat in comparison to them.

Half way through the year; missed most of my goals so far; but still feeling ok

So we're officially now in June - half way through 2025, and only 6 months to Christmas! 

And tied to our collectively reaching this calendar milestone, seems to have been a recent small flurry of emails, posts on social media, etc from lots of people encouraging us to reflect on how well we've been smashing things for these first 6 months of 2025.

Except when I look back over my shoulder at what I've 'smashed' since January, I find myself at serious risk of giving up on the second half of this year:

- as part of marking the 20th anniversary of my business I wanted to publish my second book out (a retrospective of these first 2 decades). And although I've somehow managed to get the manuscript done, there's still the getting around to sorting out and completing final details that keeps eluding me...

- I wanted to get my website redesigned (I can't remember last time I did it); similarly as part of the porcelain anniversary this year. But I've not yet started that conversation with my web-hosters, SmartBear (but maybe by being so openly public it'll help me be more accountable?).

- I signed up to a few on-line/self-paced courses, which I've not even opened session 1 of yet (I'd hoped that paying actual cash for them would help me better follow through, but turns out not).

Now, none of these involve training to climb a mountain, staging a global conference, or creating a new on-line course, so what have I been playing at to let these things slip so much? After all, if you break them down, they could all have been easily be covered off if I'd devoted just 1 combined hour a week to them all.

Which brings me to the crux of this post - it's easy to set ourselves the goal, and equally easy to miss it (kudos to Douglas Adams for the sound effect of when we do), and when we see it happening we get disheartened, and so are more likely to leave things unfinished. Worse, we're probably also less likely to even try to set a future ambition as a result.

But here's the trick that I'm using to keep my motivation going: what the hell have I been doing in these last 6 months which which meant that I missed achieving these otherwise very achievable things?

Professionally - the start of this year saw the end of a lot of funded business support programmes of various types; and I found myself being approached by several to help them make sure that they'd hit all their targets, had all the audit paperwork trails in place, and enterprises being supported by them were in the best possible health as they cut the (financial and support) cord after March. Anyone who's managed funded projects knows how hectic the last few months of any can be. Multiple that by 3 to 4...

Personally - my unpaid caring roles were notably ramping up (and continue to). I'm not going to share details here, because the stories about the immediate family members I support are theirs to share, not mine. But for context, the government's (and most carer support services') support for carers is based on the assumption that you only care 1 for person. Recent research is starting to come out that's helping to highlight the different and more stressful experiences of the 'sandwich carer' (someone who cares for 2 people who span different generations). I'm in the next camp of being the sole unpaid carer for 3 people. Added into this, I'm self-employed (which means I'm not recognised in law as a carer), so I'm needing to spin the plates of supporting them, keep my business running to help keep the rent paid, and all with no support for myself in these roles...

So maybe missing my targets is OK - because I can see that a lot of good stuff has still been happening in wider communities, and for those closest to me. And that only happened because I didn't stick to my goals and pursue them above all else, (and there's still another 6 months for me to catch up with them, right?).

Just as I shared earlier this year about giving up on a dream that I'd been chasing for 20 years, maybe we should also hold the goals we set for ourselves more lightly too - and try to recognise that sometimes not achieving them can serve a greater purpose?    

I'd like to apologise to any business trying to get a loan

I recently made an open and public apology to all my fellow freelancers, here on my blog - and I'd like to now extend this remorse to any business or enterprise that's thinking about raising investment (taking on a loan of any type) in their future. 

I was recently invited to meet with policy team at Bank of England, based on their interest in my various works over the last 3 decades in managing enterprise loan funds; researching changing trends affecting how businesses experience raising finance for growth; and ongoing dialogues with several national social investment bodies. And this isn't the first time - I'd previously contributed to their initial research into the financing of social enterprises back in 2003. 

This invitation seemed a good opportunity to help directly inform (and maybe influence?) how the body that all the lenders and investors ultimately check-in with in some way, reviewed it's current understanding and positions - because I know that from most of my conversations with enterprises of all types, that many of the current lending processes to them are increasingly mis-aligned with the changing world we find ourselves in. As a result, businesses are increasingly struggling to grow or sustain themselves because lenders aren't keeping up.

However, as an unpaid carer, I had to decline the invitation. Although I offered to meet by zoom, or enter in an email dialogue, because the ongoing caring responsibilities that I manage my business around meant I wasn't physically able to travel across the county to meet with them in person (as per the invitation), they simply said "sorry you can't join us". And that was it.

So to all business out there who may be thinking about taking on loans or investment of some kind, and at whatever stage of your journey you may be at, I'm sorry I wasn't able to represent you in a way that could have helped accessing future funds a little easier, when I otherwise might have had a clear opportunity to.

I'd like to apologise to all my fellow freelancers

I recently had an invitation to meet with the Government's Small Business Commissioner, after I was recognised by the new national Fair Payment Code as being the UK's first freelancer to gain this certification (and at the top gold level too!).

I'd already worked with their office to help them review and adapt their application criteria for this standard, (which originally excluded most of us freelance/self-employed types from being able to apply - because most of us don't have accountants, or use expensive accounting software), so that we could be on a slightly leveler playing field as everyone else. And this additional 'going beyond' made me think that the Commissioner might be especially interested in my ideas and experiences? (hence the invitation).

This invitation seemed a good opportunity for to me to help government bodies better understand just how important we are to the wider economy (and maybe a little more deserving of recognition in its policy?), if for no other reason than because I know from most of my conversations with a lot of my peers over the years, that we're actually much better than larger private businesses at paying our suppliers on time.

But as an unpaid carer, I had to decline the invitation - the Commissioner's office said I'd have to travel all the way into central London to meet with them in person: I live way 'up north', so the time needed for the travel wasn't possible against my ongoing caring responsibilities (which ironically, I'm not eligible for any support with, because government policy doesn't recognise that freelancers can also be carers). Despite offering to meet by zoom, or enter in an email dialogue, they simply said "sorry you can't take up the invitation, but keep up all the good work you're doing as an unpaid carer".

So to all my fellow freelancers out there - I'm sorry I wasn't able to represent us to government when I had a clear opportunity to. 

But hopefully more of us will start to submit ourselves to be certificated by the Fair Payment Code now that the application process allows us to, and the subsequent number of us doing so against other types of businesses might prompt the Commissioner to invite some of us round for tea and biscuits in the future, to re-start the conversation that I wasn't able to?  

Why I really signed up to the Fair Payment Code

Earlier this year I became one of the first businesses in the UK (and the first sole trader) to be certificated by the new Fair Payment Code (and at the top tier level, too!). 

This new standard is part of the government's wider attempts and efforts to encourage business growth, investment, etc by helping to make sure money is flowing around our economy in ways that benefit all of us (and isn't getting 'stuck' in the pockets of a few bigger businesses, at the expenses of the lots and lots of small businesses who collectively employ most people).

Over the first few months since the Code (and its first cohort of pioneer awardees) was officially launched, I've seen lots of my fellow certificated businesses share the reasons why they chose to submit themselves to the rigour and scrutiny that the application process for it entails.  Most of these are probably what you'd expect:

- it helps them build more resilient supply chains;

- it makes them more trustworthy with commissioners, investors, etc

- and it helps them better attract talent when they're recruiting, by showing how they're a firm you wouldn't be embarrassed to work for.

However, as you might expect, my motivations were a little different: 

I've always been open in stating my intention to pay all invoices within 24 hours of my receiving them, which has led to my current recognition by the Organisation for Responsible Businesses; the Good Business Charter; PayOnTime; and the previous government Prompt Payment Code.

And that's because ultimately I don't want to be a d*ck - I hate it when I'm paid late by my clients, so why would I further their bad practices by making others similarly suffer when I could do something about it?

I also saw lots of the other big businesses alongside me on the initial list of awardees patting themselves on the back for getting the bronze and silver levels of certification (which means they pay up to 90 days after you give them your bill). But if I can hit gold (guaranteed paying within 30 days) without having dedicated finance managers, access to investment and bank loans, etc in the way they have, then how come my practices are somehow so much better than theirs?

What's stopping bigger businesses from hoarding cash, which not only causes more smaller firms like ours to increase the risk of going bust, but also contributes to likelihood of the wider economy going into a recession, which would hurt all of us?

* recessions aren't caused by an economy running out of money, but by people and businesses stopping spending money in it - like not paying their bills when they're supposed to...

all social impact is built on sh!t

Each year I openly publish an impact report on myself.

And as this is my 20th year in business, it's gotten me thinking not just about the legacies of the impacts we create, but also what the foundations for these changes we're making are.

As some will know, I decided to mark the official anniversary of my business not with fanfare, speeches, or grand gestures like sending everyone cake, but a simple flush of my office toilet - to mark it being twinned with a school latrine block in Uganda. In doing so, I'm trying to help recognise the dignity of that generation, and help them to remain in education. And through this, my hope is that they'll be subsequently able to create more impact for their families and communities that they would otherwise, if they weren't able to remain in school for reasons of hygiene and sanitation.

So essentially, I'm creating impact by starting with sh!t.

Which has made me wonder - just as there's Maslow's hierarchy of needs (i.e. you can't sustainably progress to building esteem until you feel safe, both physically and emotionally), is there a comparable hierarchy of impact that we can/should create?

Lots of initiatives to help transform lives and communities seem to be designed in the assumption that the people they're designed for will be able to relatively easily engage with them (the biggest barriers usually identified being child-care, and transport) - but what if we more explicitly mapped out how people can engage and move through the stages of creating impact?

In the UK there are actually very few legal rights and protections for people to have access to a toilet, unless it's in their own home or direct place work - so when we're trying to create impact for communities, how far how we considered their needs to 'take a dump', and how far that may be stopping them from being able to become part of something that will make things better in the future? 

p.s. - you can get the latest full impact report here: 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dybBV3fIqIPz9k14hs3YxBOIFZ_EKspT/view?usp=sharing

Tubthumping

In this, my business' 20th anniversary year, most people would usually be pausing to reflect on the highlights, achievements, legacy, etc of their work, and be making commitments about what they'll change/do in the next chapter. 

And yes, I'm doing this in various places throughout 2025, but I also wanted to pause to reflect on just how f*cking awesome my reaching this milestone is (and not just because only 10% of all businesses make it this far).

You see, I've endured my share of challenges since I first registered with HMRC at the start of 2005. I've alluded to some them in brief in various podcasts and interviews I've featured in over the years (which is possibly why I'm repeatedly asked to guest on the topic of resilience - most recently as part of the Freelance Thrive and Freelance Sucks podcasts). But I thought it was maybe time to 'go in record' with all of the big hits - not to encourage you to break out the tiny violins for me, but as hopeful solidarity and encouragement for anyone else out there, who may be struggling with similar, that you can come out of the other side of it (eventually):

• When I started freelancing/became self-employed, as well as having no savings to speak of, no clients, and no leads, I was sole financial supporter of my family for 12 years. During this time, I had to earn enough to cover all the household bills and costs, family expenses (clothes, trips, entertainments, etc), as well as my own business' needs. And I also had to financially support and cover some of the costs in my now ex-wife's business that she started up, for 7 of those years.
• As a family, we were made homeless by flooding twice, and I had to make up some of costs of rebuilding our home both times, as the insurance wouldn't cover everything - managing the rebuilding of your home, trying to encourage and support your family (which included young children) as they bounce around various temporary accommodations, whilst also keeping your own business running, were 3 plates that I'm not sure I always managed to balance as well as I should have. 
• I went through a divorce with my ex-wife that took a lot longer than my solicitor's experience said it should have - amongst other things connected with this, the process saw me disowned by my parents; lose my savings; and cede full ownership of the house I'd paid the full mortgage of. So at the age of 50, I started my life again with no house (other than the one I rent with my new wife); no savings; and no pension (many people who are self-employed of my generation have tended to buy their home as their pension fund).
• I've become the unpaid carer for 2 of my now adult children (likely lifelong), and another immediate family member (likely to be temporary) - and owing to how systems are designed (or not) for people like me, there's no support I'm able to access, nor am eligible to apply for, to support me in this role, nor them.
• My father has suffered through multiple sudden illnesses that technically should have killed him at least twice on each occasion, and he lives with my mum at the other end of the country to me - trying to keep all of the above progressing, whilst also taking time out to be with him and my mum as best I was able, meant that some of those plates I mentioned before probably weren't as balanced as well as they should have been.
• I've had several clinical procedures on one of my eyes to help me retain my sight in it (which also involved the wearing of eye patches, and not being able to read laptop or phone screens for several days at a time. But it did lead to an accidental discovery that I've always been missing part of my brain...).
• Following an unexpected ride in the back of an ambulance, I needed several years of treatments to help me resolve, and live with, skeletal issues (that were diagnosed just before my 40th birthday, and coincided with my celebrating my 10th year of being in business). As a result of these prolonged works on me, I'm able to move freely and without the need for painkillers on most days.
• I had surprise visit from police officers at 11pm one night, owing to unfounded allegations other people had made about me; and have had to break off client calls while working from home owing to neighbours (literally) kicking off at my family, on my doorstep. 
• The CIC Regulator opened a file on me once, because I openly questioned them about why they were knowingly allowing the CIC form to force social enterprises adopting it to compromise some of their core defining values that otherwise identified them as such.  
• There was a spell of about 5 years, when there was at least 1 client a year who was making official complaints about me (all of which were fully investigated by external bodies, and all of which fully exonerated me).
• I've been investigated by HMRC 3 times for suspected tax fraud (and fully cleared each time).
• Several people have written blogs attacking my professional reputation, standing, and credibility; and I've also been un-invited from speaking at conferences, after my book that challenges what everyone thinks they know and understand about imposter syndrome was published.
• My website has had to be taken down twice, owing to it becoming targeted in deliberate attacks by others.
• And I once had to write off a nearly £10,000 overdue invoice to a client that had accumulated over the course of a year - I was working with them on the basis that they were drawing funds from a grant making body to pay me, but they'd hit a temporary cash-flow hiccup as some Councils they were delivering contracts for were dragging their feet in paying them on time. I'd agreed they could use the cash that they'd received to pay me to temporarily plug this gap while I continued with the project, and then 'catch me up' with payments after said Councils cleared their overdue debts. Except those Councils never did pay up, and the enterprise went into administration.

And there's all the other typical challenge that most freelancers / sole traders contend with: ghosted by clients; late payment of invoices; tech explosions; falling ill; etc...

I've endured, navigated, and come through the other side (of the ones I was able to - some will remain with me for life), without access or recourse to sick pay, holiday pay, or any other employee assistance programme that I would otherwise been supported by were I salaried on a payroll. Being self-employed has meant I've had to find ways to deal with all of the above by myself, without help from anyone else.

I've written in the past about how I also find myself working in some vary 'dark places' with certain types of clients, (which I won't recant here, as they're usually to do with taboo subjects that most people find difficult to talk about, let alone ever want to actively acknowledge or think about). And as part of that blog post, how I deliberately try and bring some 'humour' to go some way to balance this (for both the people I work with who are living in/with those circumstances, as well as myself). 

But in light of the above, is it any wonder that my humour seems to sometimes border on the hysterical?

As Spider-Man once said in one of the many comics he's appeared in: when asked why he's always telling jokes despite the multiple traumas he's endured in his personal life: "It's because if I didn't laugh, I'd probably cry".

And the moral of the above (if there is one?) - however much you think things can't get any worse, the universe can always find a way of making it so... but if can hold your nerve and find ways to keep investing in your resilience, there's always a choice somewhere that can help you come out of the other side of it (and if you're lucky, in a way that doesn't include you having to lose any limbs/organs, or have things start to come to light when you next get a DBS check on yourself).

AI gets drunk with me...

A little while ago, as part of my ongoing CPD framework, I asked a sample of people who've worked with me how they'd introduce me to someone else.

Recently, I asked ChatGPT the same question, only with a twist: 

"explain what Adrian Ashton does in the style of a drunk at a party"

And the results?

leans in too close, sloshing drink slightly

"Oi, listen, mate—ya ever heard of Adrian Ashton? No? Ah, well, lemme tell ya, this guy—this guy—he’s like... ya know when you got a mate who just knows things? Like, business-y things, but not in a boring suit-and-tie kinda way. Nah, he helps folks, like, charities, freelancers, businesses—big, small, whatever—sort their, uh... stuff out. Strategy! Funding! Making sure they don’t, like, screw themselves over with dumb decisions.
And get this—he don’t do it the normal way. Oh no, no, no. He’s got this, uh, renegade vibe, yeah? Breaks the rules, but, like, in a good way. Thinks different. Writes these, uh... blogs? Reports? Manifestos or summat? People actually listen to him. I tried writing a blog once—got three views, and one was me mum.
But Adrian? People pay attention. ‘Cause he knows his stuff, yeah? Knows what makes businesses tick, and he’s not afraid to call out nonsense when he sees it. Bit of a legend, really. Anyway—where’s the next round?!" 

wobbles off towards the bar 

Considering that last year, AI started to suggest that I'd died without realising it, I think I'd be OK with this introduction...   

Did I help kill the CIC Regulator?

I'm aware that in some quarters of the social enterprise sector, I have a reputation as being "the CIC killer" - and I've never hidden my confusion about the Community Interest Company form, on the basis of the weight of evidence and research showing that none of the claims made about it seem to actually stack up, and its the only legal form that was created as a direct result of a government policy agenda (in contrast to the wider social economy who, at the time, said that they didn't need any new legal structures).

And as part of this, I've also sought to constructively challenge the CIC Regulator (in the spirit of trying to help build a stronger wider sector through more critical debate) - both through attempts at direct contact and conversation, but more often through various published articles in sector media, public posts, and fact checking that I've shared through this blog (because they've usually not reciprocated my efforts).

So it's with a strange mix of feelings that I read the recent news that the government has decided to wind up the CIC Regulator (and transfer its functions to Companies House) - on that basis, I can't help but wonder how far the CIC form ever had anything that special in it after all, because they've not been able to identity any justifiable reason or benefit to keep them in place?

(Some may recall previous posts I made about the 'unique features' of CICs actually having always been available to any limited Company, and that for 20+ years, Companies House has been enforcing these already and has been continuing to do so; and that I've repeatedly highlighted how the CIC Regulator doesn't seem to be able to discharge its most basic functions...).

So - I once changed CIC legislation, and I now seemed to have helped remove their Regulator. What are the chances of me pulling of a hat-trick on CICs in the years to come..?

  

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/a-new-approach-to-ensure-regulators-and-regulation-support-growth/new-approach-to-ensure-regulators-and-regulation-support-growth-html

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/proposed-merger-of-cic-regulator-to-companies-house

AI thinks I'm dead

Last year, something strange started to happen.

A client reported back that the Christmas gift I'd left them had been confused for an urn that contained my ashes, and a few different AI bots started to reference that I'd also died.

So - both human and machine error (you don't often see that happening!).

I've subsequently found out why AI thinks I've passed over - there are several memorial page for people who shared a name with me*. As AI scrapes the internet for its knowledge, then I can understand how it came to that conclusion.

What I'm slightly more concerned by, is how so many people in my client's employment could all come to the same conclusion (especially when the gift in question was a branded wooden box containing a bottle of wine...).

However, given how I can sometimes court controversy (as seen by regulators opening files on me, getting uninvited from speaking at conferences, etc), maybe "but it can't have been me - I was dead at the time, and you can fact-check that with AI" is the ultimate dodge for being able to get out of trouble?

* https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/legacyremembers/adrian-ashton-obituary?id=43461197 and https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/legacyremembers/adrian-ashton-obituary?id=41324564

more awkward moments for CIC Regulator?

OK - so this post is in my bucket of 'more likely to cause upset and controversy', but sometimes you have to be unpopular for the sake of trying to further a debate or conversation, in trying to figure something out for yourself...

I've never hidden my confusion about CICs since they were first mooted by a drunken solicitor, as to what it is that they actually add to the social enterprise sector (there's nothing unique in them that you can't have in any other legal form, they're no more attractive or eligible to apply to grant making bodies than a 'regular' company, and don't enjoy any of the tax breaks that charities do).

But I was always encouraged by the CIC Regulator in its early days - for its being open to engage in critical debate, and willingness to hear and receive arguments that there may be parts of the CIC design which needed to be reviewed.

However, in more recent years, I can't help but start to think that the CIC Regulator is increasingly doing not just itself a disservice, but also the CICs that it oversees, and the wider social enterprise community:

In the past the CIC Regulator has:

• Publicly stated that in order to protect trust in the CIC brand, that it will never disclose or reveal any investigations it opens, or actions it takes, against any CIC (including to the persons who may have initially raised concerns about it with them). But such secrecy surely only builds mistrust, especially as its in complete opposition to the position of every other regulatory body.

• Stated untruths about the general public's relative trust in CICs over Charities.

• Created a governance code for CICs, to help guide and inform Directors of them as to best understanding the legal duties associated with being such, and how to effectively lead a CIC in this capacity - but never told any CIC about it (and it's not even hosted anywhere in their website pages).

• Admitted that there are parts of the CIC legislation that don't make sense, and shouldn't be as they are, but don't have any direct powers to act on this when it's brought to their attention.

And more recently: 

from late 2023 to the present - I've noticed that I'm increasingly meeting more 'new' CICs (registered in last few years) who are missing core details in their registration documents which should have meant that the CIC Regulator automatically rejected their application: 

• they don't have any stated social objects clauses in their Articles; 
• they don't have any statements about how their profits will be used; 
• there's contradictory details about the named recipient in their asset lock.

- These are part of the key features of being a CIC, which are apparently regulated and assured by the CIC Regulator (except they're obviously not).

in 2024 - the BBC exposes a the illegal, unethical, and questionable management practices of a CIC that have been taking place over several years. The feature drew national interest, response, and comment from the Fundraising Regulator, Police, safeguarding bodies, and even the Charity Commission. But there were no responses from the CIC Regulator to any requests made to it for comment (including not even an acknowledgement of the request).

in the spring of 2025 - I've just been approached by a CIC who's annual accounts were accepted by Companies House, but it's taken the CIC Regulator a further 6 weeks to spot and request that they amend the CIC34 part of their return in relation to an oversight on the CICs parts about a note in the accounts. 

But the CIC has fulfilled its filing obligations with Companies House, so is surely legally compliant - its hard to understand how the CIC Regulator would then take nearly another 2 months to check what was submitted: a Regulator is surely supposed to check everything is in order before accepting them as being filed? So if Companies House have already accepted the accounts (which the CIC34 forms part of), then it's hard to see what/how the CIC Regulator can do to enforce getting any such oversights subsequently resolved, as they relate to documents that have already been legally accepted? 

The only resolution I can currently think of to this contradiction is that CICs are subject to even more confusing regulation, which means that even though they've been told by one regulator that they're compliant, another could then overrule that decision - which in this instance would mean that the CIC in question is suddenly and unexpectedly facing backdated fines, prosecution, and being struck off the register by Companies House for not submitting compliant accounts when they were supposed to have (even though they were told they had at the time), because the 2 regulators that CICs are subject to, don't seem to be able to work that well together as we all think they do?

I know many people extoll CICs as a great legal form - and I've always been open to hearing their arguments, experiences, and evidences. On occasion, I've also agreed with them that this legal form really was the best choice for them. But when the regulator of a legal form that was so publicly marred in controversy as it was in the national media last year; and when so many 'advisers' seem to keep reiterating 'truth illusions' about CICs; and that their Regulator seems to be increasingly 'asleep at the wheel', surely only makes us more concerned about how far we can trust and have confidence in any enterprise adopting this status?

But as always, I'm open to people helping me spot what I've otherwise missed, and if the weight of evidence so compels me as it has in the past, to once again change my mind...

  

  

Winning gold (for getting money out of my business the quickest)

I've recently been named as one of the first businesses in the UK economy to be recognised under the Government’s flagship Fair Payment Code - a new standard that aims to challenge practices of late payment, which see small businesses currently losing nearly £2bn each year that they could otherwise be investing for growth, new job creation, etc[1]. 

And to make this recognition it even more special, I'm not only the only sole trader/freelancer to make the list, but I've also been given the gold-level badge, too! 

Given that the code awards businesses against three levels (bronze, silver, and gold), and I'm tiny compared to all the others recognised by it, it's probably safe to say that there's some red faces amongst them - if I can achieve this top level standard ahead of them, without the resources of their finance departments, access to lines of credit, etc, then what’s stopping them from doing the same?

I've always aimed to pay all invoices I receive within 24 hours – not just because I know how important it is to me as a micro enterprise to be paid promptly, but also because late payment practices force too many businesses to be wound up before their time. In turn, this means their plans to continue to grow our wider shared economy are lost; and people’s livelihoods are destroyed, forcing more families into poverty. And I can’t sleep with my conscience if I’m not doing all I can to avoid contributing to this problem.

In the past, my payment practices have been recognised by the Organisation of Responsible Business, the Good Business Charter, the previous Prompt Payment Code, and my being a registered Pay On Time supporter. This latest recognition highlights not just my own professional standards and commitments to fellow businesses of all types, but also the importance of micro enterprises and the self-employed like me, who are quietly and collectively working to strengthen our wider economy for the benefit of us all.

For more about the new Fair Payment Code -https://www.smallbusinesscommissioner.gov.uk/new-fair-payment-code/

---

[1] https://elitebusinessmagazine.co.uk/finance/item/how-are-we-still-talking-about-late-payments

What does my business need next, after 20 years?

I'm increasingly coming to the idea that most training, workshops, seminars, events, etc, that are created for, and aimed at, freelancers and the self-employed like me, seem to usually be focussed on those people either thinking about, or having recently, started out in this way of working.

That little which isn't, seems to be focussed on how we can build our 'evergreen content' into a passive training course that people click to watch, with an occasional mastermind session that would allow me to work less (and so be involved with less things that impact the world, as much of my client work offers me opportunity to), and charge people more (and so excluding people who may otherwise benefit, but simply can't afford to, through no deliberate fault on their part).

This year is the 20th anniversary of my 'striking out' as being self-employed/freelancing, after I was 'stitched up' by one of the then leading national social enterprises in the UK who'd just encouraged me to relocate my family to the other end of the country - to take up when they promised was a dream career offer that they were creating for me, but turned out to be nothing but well meaning intention when it came to allocating me a desk...

And over the last 2 decades, it strikes me that most of the CPD events I go to are now on a loop of those profiled in the opening of this post.

And that's not automatically a bad thing - I recognise that very few businesses of any type get to this porcelain milestone, and in one of the chapters in my book about imposter syndrome, I detail how realising that you're in such training events (and not getting any apparent benefit from doing so) is a sign that you really are doing alright in how you're running and managing things in your work.

But... I don't want to get stale/complacent - the way that I've always approached designing, and revisiting, how I work is based on trying to keep me constantly moving forward, challenging my understandings and ideas, and ultimately trying to avoid falling into habits I see in other consultants and advisers, which are ultimately only to the detriment and cost of the groups and enterprises who have looked to them for support and guidance... 

And I'm also aware that I'm not in the same place I was when I started out 20 years ago - I'm now an unpaid carer for several immediate family members (so no longer have the same amount of time available to devote to my business or earn money, but aren't eligible to apply for any support for myself in these roles), and also no longer own a house nor have the savings I used to (which had been forming the basis of how I imagined I'd fund my 'retirement', which is looming in the next 20 years).

So - where should I be looking for the next 'good stuff', as I now start to think about my next 20 years in business?*

* (assuming that there's still no-one out there who'd be open to putting me back onto a respectable payroll? I never meant to be self-employed, and am still not sure it's my life's calling..) 

I've given up on my dream of ever getting a job

20 years ago I was 'personally and professionally shafted' by one of UK's then leading social enterprises after they'd approached me out of the blue with a dream career offer. Acting in good faith, I recruited my successors in the co-op development agency I was employed in at the time, relocated my young family from Cambridge to 'up north', and was then suddenly told by their managers that I'd been speaking with, that it turned out that they didn't actually have the authority to follow through on the offer and invitation they'd made to me...  

I immediately started knocking on doors in my new adopted home town to find a next job (where no-one knew me, the internet and smartphones weren't yet a thing, etc). And the first offers of work I found required me to be self-employed - a necessity to support my family, rather than a deliberate career choice (as so many others' stories I hear about seem to be).

However, I was always looking to get back onto a respectable payroll - if only for the security it offered (after all, I had young family!); and then as years went on, for a sense of community, support (IT, etc); and sick/holiday pay and pension contributions.

It's now 20 years on - and despite setting various job alerts on different sites; having had my CV reviewed by different 'experts'; being encouraged to apply for roles by senior people in organisations I've been an associate to; and various interviews; I've still not landed a job offer. 

And its been increasingly challenging to find jobs that offer a salary and flexibility consummate with the caring responsibilities I now have, let alone be able to get shortlisted for interview.  

So having now reached my 50th year (which shouldn't make a difference, except we know it can), and with caring responsibilities which mean that I wouldn't be able to employ me if I were applying for a job with myself - I've reached the decision to officially 'give up' on this dream I've been chasing for the last 2 decades. This is because I recognise that it's never going to be able to happen in a way that I now need it to, but didn't them (chiefly because of the unpaid caring responsibilities I've been gained from the universe during this time: something I share with the 600+ other people who are having to quit their salaried jobs every day).

(Now, I should probably clarify that I don't begrudge being self-employed: there lots of positives I've enjoyed, and impacts I've been able to create, that universe might not have otherwise benefitted from because of the restrictions that being on a salaried payroll would otherwise have imposed on me.)

And strangely, I find myself not feeling any sense of loss in having made this choice. I've just given up on a dream I've been chasing for 20 years, which has in part been helping to sustain me, and which should surely make me feel mournful in some way? But instead, I find myself with a sense of release and freedom - and feeling (slightly) less stressed by having 'taken something out' of my expectations for my future, and focus for energy.

But I also recognise that this means I may actually start to properly take being self-employed seriously (for perhaps the first time ever!), as I've now abandoned my 'safety net' to it... 

the late Christmas special from 2024 (aka the one where other people say what I did last year - part 2)

OK - so I'm normally known for always hitting deadlines, and getting things done in a timely fashion, even when the odds are stacked against me.

(And although this time it's slipped a little, I don't think it matters that much.)

If you cast your minds back a mere few weeks to the middle(ish) of December last year, you'll (hopefully) recall that that's when we started to see people sharing posts on social media, and sending out newsletters, with their 'greatest hits' of the year.

I try to do similar myself every so often - but I always try and do it in a different way...

That's because I'm concerned that how everyone else seemed to be doing their own, means they were writing about what they felt was the most impactful and enjoyable things over the year - but that risks such an annual reminiscence becoming no more than a self-congratulatory ego boost..?

So I tried a different approach/experiment:

I used AI to review all of my activity on social media over the year (what I'd been posting about, what of that caught the most interest and response from people, etc), and also a repeat of my occasional adapted 360-degree feedback (the one where I ask a random selection of my contacts one seemingly simple and benign question).

The AI (CoAuthor, if you're wondering) suggested that, by the numbers and data, my most important things in 2024 were to do with:

- challenging accepted wisdom (about imposter syndrome; where the best support for social enterprises actually is; the secret truth about business plans that no-one ever tells you; and other things)

- making an impact both locally and nationally (based on recognitions I was awarded during the year from various bodies)

And I was particularly taken with how this AI summed up its profiling of my year in its final overarching report - having been accused of being many things over the course of my working life to date, it picked up on the reports of my death (the first time someone's suggested I've actually kicked the bucket!) that had being greatly exaugurated:

"To everyone working to make business better - whether you're transforming organizations from within or challenging systems from without - remember that being misunderstood is often a sign you're onto something important. Just try not to be mistaken for being dead while doing it."

https://coauthor.studio/rewind/z6WVn8

ChatGBT seemed to struggle more, when I asked it to summarise either my achievements, or highlights over the year. This is because, as it kept telling me when I asked it in different ways, "specific details about his projects and initiatives are not extensively documented in the available sources". Which suggests that I'm relatively coy about who the groups are that I work with, in comparison with other consultant-types - that's because I've always maintained that it should be my clients story to tell about themselves, I'm there to help them along the way, not use them as banners to promote myself with. (And also some of the projects I get involved in have a high degree of sensitivity for various reasons, so it's either dangerous, taboo, or otherwise improper for me to talk about them...!)

And the 'real human beings' who picked up on this 'game', and were able to offer what they were appreciative of during 2024, because of their contact with me during the year. They talked about:

• "This is a great idea to do on ourselves - and I want to thank you very publicly for all the incredible work you are doing about self-employed carers. Definitely something to celebrate!"
• "You have really helped to make our project [supporting local charities and social enterprises] a success through your overall contribution to it - your are our "go to" person for work related to CICs and trading, as we know you have much experience in these areas: after past experience of seeing groups get poor advice in these areas from other consultants and advisers has left us nervous, it's a great to now be able to feel confident that if I refer a group to you I know that they are in safe hands."
• "It's all your LinkedIn posts that I actually enjoy reading." 
• "You're able cut through all the 'noise', personalities, and BS, in any piece of work to get the job done on time and on budget".  

All of which leads me to conclude, I think, that 2024 was a year in which I managed to keep challenging truth illusions that hold people and organisations back without their realising it; continued to make a difference for individuals, communities, and ecosystems, in ways that they enjoyed and felt more confident by*; and also managed to avoid dying.

Ritual reflections like these are important - they provoke us to pause and look back; to try and find encouragements for the uncertainties ahead; draw learning to help us better navigate the next chapters; and ultimately make some more sense of this thing called 'life' (however we may be experiencing it).

My way of reflecting on this last year is probably novel, and wasn't without risk - but it hopefully helped me to be more honest, and kept me connected with other people that I'd shared it with. After all - whatever business we're in, it's all Human-to-Human in the end... 

*As Bananarama once sang: "it ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it, and that's that gets results"

** For part 1 of this blog: https://thirdsectorexpert.blogspot.com/2024/12/the-one-where-other-people-say-what-i.html