I've given up on my dream of ever getting a job

20 years ago I was 'personally and professionally shafted' by one of UK's then leading social enterprises after they'd approached me out of the blue with a dream career offer. Acting in good faith, I recruited my successors in the co-op development agency I was employed in at the time, relocated my young family from Cambridge to 'up north', and was then suddenly told by their managers that I'd been speaking with, that it turned out that they didn't actually have the authority to follow through on the offer and invitation they'd made to me...  

I immediately started knocking on doors in my new adopted home town to find a next job (where no-one knew me, the internet and smartphones weren't yet a thing, etc). And the first offers of work I found required me to be self-employed - a necessity to support my family, rather than a deliberate career choice (as so many others' stories I hear about seem to be).

However, I was always looking to get back onto a respectable payroll - if only for the security it offered (after all, I had young family!); and then as years went on, for a sense of community, support (IT, etc); and sick/holiday pay and pension contributions.

It's now 20 years on - and despite setting various job alerts on different sites; having had my CV reviewed by different 'experts'; being encouraged to apply for roles by senior people in organisations I've been an associate to; and various interviews; I've still not landed a job offer. 

And its been increasingly challenging to find jobs that offer a salary and flexibility consummate with the caring responsibilities I now have, let alone be able to get shortlisted for interview.  

So having now reached my 50th year (which shouldn't make a difference, except we know it can), and with caring responsibilities which mean that I wouldn't be able to employ me if I were applying for a job with myself - I've reached the decision to officially 'give up' on this dream I've been chasing for the last 2 decades. This is because I recognise that it's never going to be able to happen in a way that I now need it to, but didn't them (chiefly because of the unpaid caring responsibilities I've been gained from the universe during this time: something I share with the 600+ other people who are having to quit their salaried jobs every day).

(Now, I should probably clarify that I don't begrudge being self-employed: there lots of positives I've enjoyed, and impacts I've been able to create, that universe might not have otherwise benefitted from because of the restrictions that being on a salaried payroll would otherwise have imposed on me.)

And strangely, I find myself not feeling any sense of loss in having made this choice. I've just given up on a dream I've been chasing for 20 years, which has in part been helping to sustain me, and which should surely make me feel mournful in some way? But instead, I find myself with a sense of release and freedom - and feeling (slightly) less stressed by having 'taken something out' of my expectations for my future, and focus for energy.

But I also recognise that this means I may actually start to properly take being self-employed seriously (for perhaps the first time ever!), as I've now abandoned my 'safety net' to it... 

the great resignation, being pushed, and becoming superheroes

There seems to a growing awareness of a movement that's come to be known as "the great resignation" - Covid and the pandemic have forced people to re-examine of what they were doing almost automatically in their lives, and many are finding that they're unhappy with what's become their lot, and are spurring themselves to change that. Mainly by quitting the jobs that currently leave them unfulfilled to pursue hopes and dreams that will better feed their souls.

And it got me thinking about our origin stories as freelancers and entrepreneurs.

Usually, when people share them, they seem to echo the current 'great resignation' - people "felt the fear, but did it anyway" and heroically quit their jobs to pursue their dream. (and research studies like this one from theRSA re-enforce this)

But, as usual, my origin story isn't in keeping with this typical narrative. (TL:DR = relocated my family to the other end of the country in a pre iphone age to find said job didn't exist, and the first work I could find to allow my family to remain housed and fed meant I was forced to go freelance).

And it's made me wonder about if we should all try and be a little more honest about where we've come from (especially if it's not from what seems to be the usual position of having savings, a partner still salaried, and clients already confirmed, before jumping off an otherwise dependable monthly payroll). The point of which would be to better challenge stereotypes and misconception, and encourage others who might otherwise think that they haven't 'got what it takes', and subsequently live a live of regret and missed opportunity for themselves and those around them.

And the actual research out there also seems to encourage this: theRSA's "salvation in a startup" found that there's actually a far wider range of motivations in play for those of  us who find ourselves self-employed than might be otherwise first imagined:

Might it also also make us more like the superheroes we always wanted to be when we were kids (although some might say that if you're part of the Freelance Heroes community, you're half-way there already!) - because we remember and know who the likes of Spiderman and Batman are in large part because we know what their origin stories are...?

introducing... a pole dancing lion tamer!

As always, it was supposed to be straightforward.

But, as always, it's turned out to be by turns shocking, touching, encouraging, worrying, and more...

And no, it's nothing to do with Covid-19, but my biennial 360 degree feedback, that I introduced 7 years ago as part of the CPD* framework I've created for myself.

Every 2 years (or so) I invite a selection of collaborators, clients, contacts, and other non-carefully selected characters to tell me what they really think about me. 

But rather than open the flood gates to emails and messages that will leave me in need of therapy and extended counselling (as often seems to be the case in 360 degree appraisal processes), I only ask 1 question.

- (you can see the results of previous cycles of this by looking up the 'superpowers' tag in my blog)

This single question approach has always seemed to go down well with people in the past - asking what my 'super power', and 'niche' is; what picture comes to mind when people think of me; and this time: how would people introduce me?

There's always a reason behind my choice of questions, and this one about introductions is based on a university enterprise start-up session I ran a little while back. 

In the run up to the starting time, the course leader asked me how I'd liked to be introduced? To which I glibly replied - well, they don't know anything about me, so you can say whatever you'd like. Which they took as a challenge, and promptly cued me in as a 'pole dancing lion tamer'. (I don't know what it says about either their students, or what type of other speakers they usually get in, but no-one batted an eyelid or looked surprised at this).

As an immediate learning point, I then started to use this approach at meetings I'm invited to - at the start when everyone goes around the table to say who they are (which is usually understood by at least 1 person as a demand for them to recount their life story and impress everyone with all the great responsibilities they now have in their role), when it comes to me, I ask someone who's there who knows me (in some capacity) to cue me in. And it's not for laziness, but actually an easy way to test my branding and understand how I'm being perceived and understood by different people in different places.

So this time, the survey question to people was "how would you introduce me? (at either a networking event, parliamentary reception, cocktail party, or bail hearing...)"

And as in previous cycles, some people re-interpreted the question (which I'd always encourage), to include new hashtags about me (which now brings the total number of tags other people have created to describe on social media to 4!); stylistic delivery of how they'd deliver the introduction; and a range of short and sweet (9 words) to rousing speeches (142 words).

In trying to make sense of what messages seemed to come out of this about me, I tried a word cloud approach. 

Interestingly this showed not only the sorts of things I do that people like to talk about:

- business

- advice

- charity

- enterprise

- knowledge

- strategy

but also the way in which I act and conduct myself when I'm working with people:

- values

- can

- will

- always

- expect

- help

- social

- talk

- underpinned

But a word cloud doesn't do well at pulling out the recurring sentiments that people are sharing.

All of the responses are recreated in full are below (and just as in previous cycles, anonymised to protect people's embarrassment). And I think that reading through them, the messages that come about about my 'brand' and why people like working with me are:

1) I'm not 'traditional' - people like my being unconventional, and bringing new approaches and ideas. Not all of which may always be comfortable, but they will mean there's a better result at the end of the work.

2) I make things easier for people: be it understanding what might seem an overwhelmingly complex issue, or helping them see there's a different (easier) way of coming at it.

But so what? Well, this all helps reassure me that how I'm putting myself out there to do what I do is still largely working (in that people enjoy it and want to talk about it - either that, or they think people should be warned about me...?). And it also cements something that came out of a similar '1 question' in a previous cycle of this, which is that people find I can help them simplify things to a point where they're comfortable to take it on.

*CPD: not what you think it means... see https://twitter.com/AdrianAshton2/status/689882882928680960

All responses received in full:

"When I was founding XXXXX, 23 years ago, a Chief Executive #Founder of another social enterprise said to me "Forget about mission, objectives and plan - what are the values of this new organisation - they'll last longer" They lasted quite a while. Today, I'd like to introduce you to someone who is not only a multi-award-winning business adviser and facilitator but someone who measures his impact daily against his values. Adrian's values will last forever. He can be zany, funny, creative and always deeply thoughtful but you'll buy his services, particularly as a social enterprise or charity, for his total professionalism underpinned by these values. It makes the buying decision easy, what you see is what you get and that is why Adrian is always in demand - top advice, training and facilitation underpinned by values you can see and touch.

"Here's a guy you can go to for looking at problems or issues from a perspective you may not have thought of or from" #AlternativeAdrian

“A gifted genius who turns complexity into simplicity. “

"This is Adrian. He will ask you awkward yet very useful questions".

“This is Adrian, he is our mentor and a great source of knowledge. He is helping us on a wide range of business strategy and governance support as we transition from a community group into a charity and alter our focus. He can be a little bit ‘out there’ at times but because he really listens and considers his advice before imparting his wisdom to you – you feel re-assured and that he is trustworthy. I’m really enjoying working with him and feel like he is a member of our team. He is incredibly patient and tries to make work more fun. I think you’ll like him.”

“This is Adrian Ashton, you have come here today to hear a talk which will help you with your business. Be prepared! It is not what you expect, or the way you expect this sort of a talk. But I am sure that it will help you!!”  

“Entertaining and charismatic fountain of knowledge, about organisational structure and strategy. Mainly academic, public bodies and not for profit.”

 

oh, the places you'll go...

So many books on doing business and being an entrepreneur are filled with inspiring stories of what other people have achieved, and words of advice from people who haven't lived your life or faced the challenges, hopes and frustrations that you do.

Which is why I think 'oh! the places you'll go!' is the ideal book for any entrepreneur – it's presented from the view of a child: and children think that either everything is possible, or nothing is possible: a common mindset for entrepreneurs, freelancers, and the self-employed. And it’s also brutally honest that sometimes the best laid plans can come to naught despite our best efforts, but that somehow we'll manage to survive those tough times.

There are no complex mantras to remember, complex theories or tools to memorise, and it also comes with lots of fun pictures. For all those reasons and more, this is THE book that anyone launching their own enterprise should have by their bedside.

working until the end of my days..?

So I'm now of an age where I no longer think myself invincible, but thankfully still have all my teeth and a bit of hair...

And strange things happen when you get to this point in your life, especially with regards to thinking about your future - you find yourself not just concerned with worrying about if/how you'll take your next holiday, but also that thing called 'retirement'...

There have been studies, articles, and blogs published over the last few months around the internet that suggest we're all going to need to keep working for longer into our twilight years than previous generations have, and that when we finally can officially retire from the need to be an economic contributor to society and the economy, we'll have a lot less to live on.

But these all tend to relate to the 'traditional' worker - people who are employed, with an employer contributing to a pension pot on their behalf, to supplement what will be left of the state pension when we get to that milestone in our lives.

I, and quite a few others, are self-employed. We don't have an employer who's making contributions into a pension fund on our behalf. And most of us struggle to be able to afford or justify making any monthly contributions to a fund out of our own earnings judging by trends in freelancing and self-employment which shows we earn less than our employed counterparts (while at the same time somehow paying more tax!):

- https://flipchartfairytales.wordpress.com/2016/03/22/self-employed-slide-further-into-poverty/

- https://flipchartfairytales.wordpress.com/2015/10/16/will-the-low-paid-self-employed-undercut-the-minimum-wage/

- http://businessadvice.co.uk/hr/employment-law/37-reasons-why-self-employed-have-it-worse-than-employees/

To redress this, some of us will be looking to use our homes as our pension fund - hoping to pay off a mortgage, and then when the time comes, sell the house and live off the proceeds. But many of us don't have a mortgage or the security of owning our own home (and may never be able to). And even if we did, we may have children who we want to offer some legacy and support to for their own futures, and so we don't want to blow whatever we might be able to raise from selling our home to make sure we can leave something for for them...

All of which, is why I'll be following the current initiative on thinking from TheRSA into how retirement security for the growing numbers of people who are self-employed can be strengthened ('cos the current options don't really work!)

 - https://www.thersa.org/discover/publications-and-articles/rsa-blogs/2017/11/boosting-retirement-security-for-the-self-employed-a-call-out-for-ideas?id=utm_medium=newsletter/fellowship/201117

breaking freelance taboos...

regular readers of my blog will know that I can be a little unconvential at times in how I think about, and approach, issues and ideas (including how I've structured my being self-employed);

with that in mind, I've taken the most of the opportunity of being featured as this week's 'national freelance hero' (a national programme to promote and encourage the self-employed) to challenge some of the taboos about freelancing, and what the reality of it can really be like sometimes...http://www.edagoodman.com/featured-freelancer-adrian-ashton-social-enterprise-consultant/

but some of these sentiments aren't new - some may dimly recall the first global interview I gave as an 'ethical entrpreneur' 10 years ago where I talked about my love of pound shops, and the desire to have food fights in the House of Commons... http://ethicaljobs.blogspot.co.uk/2007/10/adrian-ashton-consultant-to-social.html

(with thanks to Ed Goodman for managing this series)

who should we believe about how great (or not) being self-employed is?

I'm now into my 12th year of being a self-employed enterprise consultant-type. It was never part of a grand plan I have for my life, but rather necessity: I found myself needing to earn money to support my family, and at the time no-one was hiring, but some were offering work on contracts rather than payroll. And I've been hustling ever since.

Some readers of my bog will know how I've managed to use this status to clever effect in influencing national legislation and policy, and others may also recall the other impacts it's had on me (such as struggling to get to all the christmas parties clients invite me to...).

But there were 3 pieces of research published earlier this month that made me pause and reflect on how appropriate it is that we're all being increasingly encouraged to explore and pursue freelance careers, and also the apparent indifference of the government to us in the bulk of business support being directed to companies with lots of employees and such like:

1) being self-employed makes you happier and earns you more money (according to research by Intuit Quickbooks), but...

2) average earnings for the self-employed continue to fall far below that of their employed counterparts (according to data from the government)

3) being self-employed means your relationships with your family will suffer more (according to the Centre for the Modern Family)

so who should we believe if we're considering a freelance career? What sort of life could we reasonably expect in light of the above contradictory research, and what impact might it have on those close to us?

As for me - I didn't feel I had the luxury of a choice, and over the last 12 years I've tried to manage my role as best I can to try and create as much benefit as possible for those I've been supporting, and also the wider world ('cos of how my mum brought me up). It's been tough, but there have been various moments that I can't imagine I could have otherwise created, (many of which I've tried to chronicle here on my blog).

But the challenge with all this research (as I highlighted under 'Q' in my alternative entrepreneur's A-Z), is that it's all generalisations based on the group of people (who aren't you) that the researchers asked. And I have an idea that we're all so diverse and unqiue in our circumstances that any surveys like these can only point to general trends that may or may not be relevant to us - as with everything, we should look behind the headlines, consider if there are findings which speak into our circumstance, work out what we can do about them, and then just get on with it, and continue making our own path.

on being a (sector) fan boy!

As a freelance consultant who’s had his share of (mis)adventures, academically not shined when I was supposed to (but since made up for it), been embroiled in a few controversies over the years, and not really had anything resembling a traditional career path, I’m not afraid to admit that I do sometimes doubt if I’m really as good as everyone says I am.

And that sense of self-doubt is probably quite useful in stopping me getting complacent (or heaven forbid, even arrogant!), but it does lead me to have some unusual reactions from time to time... specifically when some of the sector leaders and ‘heavyweights’ make a direct beeline for me to find out what I know or think about various issues, and I’ve realised it’s the same feeling I had as a kid when I met Darth Vader after winning a competition in the local paper: I’m a fan boy!

 

So, should I take the next step as a true fan-boy and share an initial roll-call/apology to some of those sector leaders who’ve approached me over the last year and I’ve found myself blustering my way through initial conversations with them out of nerves/disbelief that they’d want to talk with me (but who’ve none the less had the good grace not to allow it to get in the way of our having what I hope were useful conversations)?

Comments, emails, tweets, please to see if you’d like to know whose made me go (professionally) weak at the knees this year...!

(and that also goes for you 'sector heavyweights too' - you hopefully know who you are, and I know at lease one of you reads this blog... ;-)

super-powers revealed!

so - thanks to all of you who answered my 'call' a few weeks back when I asked what my superpower is.

it was humbling in places to read what high esteem some of you hold me in (and comforting to know that there are some of you I can always rely on to make sure I keep my feet on the ground...)

I've copied all the responses below for reference (anonymised, naturally - got to protect those secret identities!), but what seems to be coming out of them is that my superpowers are:

1) the ability to take complex information and ideas and present them in ways that are easy to understand and relate to

2) connecting diverse and wide-ranging sources of information to help cut through issues quickly and concisely

thanks to you all for 'playing along'.

Adrian

• laser-beam analytical skills
• the ability to understand people/scenarios/language quickly (a hugely under rated talent IMO) and its obviously 'super' (difficult) because of the sector that you choose to ply your trade in, most social entrepreneurs have their own 'language' in my experiences to date !!
• When I ask you about something, you form a web of interconnections and links, allowing us to swing straight over ground which has been previously trodden, and avoiding existing pitfalls
• conviction. You always demonstrate a clear belief in what you are doing or saying
• vastly useful in-depth knowledge of charities, social enterprises, and co-operatives, and their role within our economy
• respond to a complex question in a factual and personable manner. I have seen you do this on several occasions, putting the questioner at ease with not only the response but also the manner of the reply
• Stats and normal distributions could b used to categorise you in the six parts per million category....... or even at one in a thousand that’s 99.9% of them not as good as you
• You are Hyper efficient, easy to reach, informative on most subjects and a jolly fellow to work with.  Why do I call you, because you are easy to speak to, a good listener and able to discuss through what are often tricky situations as well as offer advice.  You get things done quickly and are always willing to go beyond what is required of you to support me in my quests.  There!  Supportive, efficient, good communicator, get things done and never let me down
• Being able to translate strategic vision into something useful on the ground. 
• Insightful and being able to reference good practice and findings from the work you've been involved in and topics you've researched and reflected on over the years
• Being able to spot weaknesses/gaps and challenges in a proposal and make useful suggestions  
• Sensible but also entrepreneurial - a risk taker
• Honest, ethical and fair and challenging authority where necessary 
• translating legal structures and governance into something none legal people can understand 

Some people also likened me to:

• professor X
• the A team
• being a Babel fish (hitch-hikers guide)
• spider-man

secret super-powers...

we all have one - something we can do that others struggle to, and that people are in awe of us when we use it: a skill or ability that marks us out from the crowd, and is the thing that makes us special in the eyes of those we work with;

and I'm wondering what mine might be - don't get me wrong, I'm pretty clear about my various skills and abilities (just check out my 'modest' profile), but I'm not sure I'm that clear on which of them the people I walk alongside cherish and value the most;

I've therefore decided to ask. So - if you get a message from me in the next few weeks, this is your chance to tell me what you really think it is that I can do that's better than anyone else. 

And why am I doing this? Well, I'm curious, and its been a while since I did some good evaluation on myself other than taking recommendations on Linkedin (of which I seem to gathering quite a few!) and seeing people tweet about me occasionally. And because its only by better understanding how other see me that I can best strengthen and enhance myself against any future super-villains and their kyrptonite... 

how did I get here...?

I've always been a fan of Talking Heads, and in particular their Twilight-Zone inspired track 'Once in a lifetime'; and while the lyrics are largely concerned with an existential mid-life crisis, there's a line that always strikes me, where David Byrne says:

"and you may ask yourself - well, how did I get here?"

And maybe its because I've been listening to some old Talking Heads albums recently, or maybe because I'm approaching a certain age... but I am catching myself increasingly reflecting on how I've come to be living the life I am - I've never had any grand career ambitions or 'life goals', so its not always easy to look back to spot the markers along the path I've followed.

However, one thing I am certain of is that a lot of who I am and where I am today is because of other people who (with hindsight) have had influence over my thinking and choices made - sometimes by offering an opportunity for work or visit, and sometimes through challenge or encouragement. And mostly they didn't need to do the things they did that have contributed to who I am today, but with graciousness and goodwill they freely shared something of themselves and their time.

So I've decided I really should try and thank these people as I now go forward into whatever (mis)adventures await; but in keeping with my avoidance of career plans, it won't be in any formal or structured way. It'll be when I come across them at conferences or their name is suggested as 'someone I may know' by LinkedIn.

So watch out - I won't be publicly 'naming and shaming' you, but you may be approached by someone in the future who says 'thank you for that time 10 years ago when you...'. 

I think its perhaps a practice we should all perhaps try and do more of in not only better understanding ourselves, but also in encouraging others to keep on changing the world for the better one person at a time...

the day I realised I was a 'professional'...

so – its official: I'm a professional after all (despite what some may feel are my efforts to the contrary...)

Some of you will know that as a provider of support and consultancy services to enterprises, I 'fell' into self-employment and become a micro business by accident nearly 8 years ago. It was never part of any grand career or life plan, but rather a way that I could use what I felt were my skills and gifts in a way that I could continue to support myfamily, and also offer some contribution to the wider world.

During one of my rare attendances at aconference recently I made the most of an opportunity to hear about the work to develop and agree national standards for advisers to co-operativeenterprise. What struck me most from my participating in that session was how I clearly I exhibit the '3 pillars of professionalism':

-        qualifications assessed against national occupation standards

-        assessed and qualified CPD (continuing professional development)

-       subscribing to a recognised code of conduct (especially useful in handling those rare occasions that clients wish to file a complaint against me)

These are all things that I find myself naturally doing – qualifications are a quick and easy way to allow me to assureclients of my skill and knowledge; CPD assures me that I'm keeping myself up-to-date and having opportunity to reflect on my knowledge and thinking; and codes of conduct I subscribe to through my membership of trade bodies (such as the Institute of Consulting) help keep me accountable (and so strengthen my integrity).

So it’s gratifying to learn that these practices I've always adopted as being 'common sense' make me a 'professional', but does this now mean I have to start behaving like one....? and if so, does that mean I should start wearing a suit and tie and charging exorbitant rates for my time ;-)

a square peg in a round hole...

Earlier this week I took the opportunity to spend a morning hanging out with fellow graduates of Common Purpose programmes in the North West (Common Purpose is an international charity that encourages people to develop leadership skills so that they can have more impact and generally make the work a more groovy and lovelier place for everyone).

 

 Having blagged my way onto two Common Purpose programmes over the years (renew NW and Local Links), I’m of the view that I don’t readily confirm to their (or most other peoples’) view of what a ‘leader’ is – everyone who usually participates in their programmes are employees and have responsibilities for other staff – I work as a freelancer and am usually the person being controlled by lots of other people...

But that’s OK because whilst immersing myself into the Common Purpose world hasn’t helped me to develop and enhance my leadership skills (on reflection I’ve felt that what they’ve encouraged people to embrace I already have quite a lot of already), it has and does give me some great opportunities to not only meet fantastic people, but also critically reflect on my own working practices and philosophies from perspectives and contexts I would have otherwise missed. As a freelancer, most of my ‘natural’ networking opportunities are with fellow sole traders and consultant-types - Common Purpose is very good at bringing a disparate group of people together to openly talk about the various challenges we face and how we can manage and resolve our fears in how we might best address them.

Common Purpose advocates and encourages you to take responsibility for ideas that would normally be seen to be outside of your role. I’ve always done that – but being part of the Common Purpose tribe has meant that I’ve been able to better reflect on how when I’ve done so I’ve been developing my own leadership, influencing and supporting skills and intelligences – its led me to realise that I’m very often a square peg in a round hole, but that this is usually a good thing to be.