20 years of making hard things possible, amplifying voices, and enabling action

I recently openly asked people who've had had type of interactions or contact with me over the last 20 years, what they thought my most important impact has been over these 2 decades.

This isn't (just) for the sake of gratifying my ego, but as part of a genuine intention I have, that's been sparked by my business' porcelain anniversary, to start to try and take my enterprise more seriously.

As in previous cycles of this 'game', I've tried to anonymise all the responses I received at the end of this post, so you can check my workings out - but this time, I tried 2 different ways to try and make sense of what people kindly took time to share back with me: my own reading of the comments, and AI's analysis of them.

Firstly - to my own interpretation:

It strikes me that there are some common threads emerging:

1) championing less sexy and overlooked causes and injustices that people agree are important, but no-one seems to know what to do about them;

2) building other people up so that they can go further, and with more confidence, than they believed they ever could;

3) helping people make sense of things that most others see as in-sensicle (is that a real word?) - supporting them to understand and navigate systems and processes that otherwise appeared too technical and complex for them to cope with.

And the above seem to speak to not only impacts, but also the approaches I use it doing it (which nicely echoes an argument in my latest book, that the important thing about impact isn't what we do, but how we do it).

But nothing pointed to a single event, change, or new thing (which I find interesting, as there are workspace buildings that now exist because of me; and specific pieces of legislation that are different to what they were before I 'targeted' them). However, on reflection this is a good thing - as it echoes some of my core sentiments about the importance of relationships we have with each other (after all, in the ultimate end, that's all we ever have).

Secondly - to AI.

I fed it all the quotes and testimonials I'd received, and asked it: "Analyse the attached document of things people have said about me (from what they've seen and known that I've done and been involved in), to find what my biggest impact has been. And I'm defining 'impact' as "a marked effect or influence"."

For the sake of not wanting this post to turn into something that will take another 20 years to read, I'm going to extract some of the core points it generated from the swathes of ideas, suggestions, and follow-up prompts it created:

Across all the testimonials, your biggest impact seems to be: You enable others to do    more than they thought possible—by simplifying complexity, advocating for justice, and generously opening up new perspectives. In other words, your influence is both practical (making systems/processes work better) and transformative (changing how people think, act, and feel capable).

I asked it to reframe this into an 'impact statement', to try and make it flow a little better:

Adrian makes complexity accessible and give people the confidence to act. Through generous support, principled advocacy, and creative facilitation, he helps others see new possibilities, overcome barriers, and shape fairer, more effective systems. His influence lies in enabling people and organisations to do more than they thought possible—while amplifying voices and issues that might otherwise go unheard.

But this still feels a bit wordy and corporate jargon-y, so I asked to get a final version as a single sentence statement:

Adrian makes the complex simple and the possible achievable—equipping people and organisations with confidence, clarity, and courage to create fairer systems and lasting change.

Which somehow lost the opening core essence of what it originally found in its analysis. So I made a final attempt, by asking for 3-5 work taglines. These felt better:

* Making the hard things possible

* Amplifying voices, enabling action

It seems to me that AI didn't find anything substantially different to what I read and identified (so a useful sense check), but boy was it wordy in how it got this to a point that I think makes it easier to share with other people in ways that will be easy to understand and not sound like the usual patter of most consultants?

And as another sense-check on this, I also went back to the tag-line I created for my business nearly 20 years ago when I was first setting out - Insight, Development, Encouragement.

And it I think that based on what people have shared about their experiences of me and my work since then, I've done pretty well at sticking to those core 3 words?

(and the outcomes of this exercise also echoes my favourite testimonial which someone I once worked wrote about me, but which I've also struggled to be able to actually use in anything until now: "Adrian made us feel less stupid".)

The full schedule of all comments received from different people:

“What I’ve valued most is the generous, thoughtful, timely feedback at critical stages in promoting cooperative education in voluntary, and policy work undertaken.  Thanks Adrian you are a gem.”

“Every time I hit a brick wall and ask for help, yours in the name that keeps coming up”

“Well, I think the biggest thing that you’ve helped me with has been the change to our governance model and making sure we were doing it right for people living with HIV. You guided us through what was potentially an incredibly challenging process, identifying some of the landmines and encouraging us to prepare for and pre-empt them, which was incredibly useful in supporting people to feel able to vote for the change at an EGM.”

“From what I see, you have made the often complicated world of social enterprise governance, finance and development much more accessible to both entrepreneurs and those of us that support them.  You use your experience and knowledge – of both the sector and humans – to meet people where they are and offer them the input they need (even when they might not yet know they need it).  I think the impact of this is an increased number of social entrepreneurs, and their supporters, who are equipped with the right critical questions to navigate the world of social business (and social business support!).  I know I have certainly grown in confidence in the decisions I make, questions I ask and support I offer, as a result of learning from and observing your work.”

“For me, you've helped me reframe what a sponsor or donor could look like.  Because I think I had this fixed idea in my head that I had to approach larger organisations (often with dodgy values) if I wanted to get some sort of investment in my business.  And actually since your generous support of my Write the Book programme began, I've also had support for my podcast from a couple of other freelance businesses who've signed up to sponsor it.  I'm not sure I would have had the idea to contact them if we'd not worked together.  Or at least I might have contacted them without much hope of a positive response, but I think I'm more optimistic and open to the idea of freelance businesses being potential supporters now, and that's very exciting.”

 “I’m not sure that there is any one specific thing in terms of biggest impact, because I have seen various things and then there’s the next thing.  But overall, I would say the biggest impact you have had outside the direct services you provide is your commitment to putting your head above the parapet and shouting out for justice, whether that is for self-employed directors who are also carers, #Payin30Days, Excluded UK etc.  Quite hard to put a measurable impact on that!”

“I can only comment from the perspective of your support for Co-operative Climate Action.  You are one of a tiny band of co-operators who support our co-operative option rather than conventional (and often discredited) offsets.  As such you are helping vulnerable communities I Malawi adapt to climate change, protecting biodiversity, and supporting the development of new co-operative businesses that will reduce poverty, give them hope, and a financial incentive to care for the trees in the long term. Thanks to your interest and encouragement we are gradually gaining momentum and giving hope to people."

“Adrian has been a dedicated and powerful voice for carers, sharing his experiences to illuminate the challenges of caring when you’re self-employed.  The searing honesty in both meetings and in the Carers Aloud blog series has not just been moving but has helped instigate change within the organisation, making carers a priority area for future campaigning and lending strength and insight to existing campaigns, particularly on the fatherhood experience.  His insights on our research have been valuable and will be taken forward in developing future research.  He was also able to stand up for the self-employed when talking to the Department of Business and Trade at a focus group on carer’s employment experiences, which will hopefully feed into shaping future policy.”

“Challenging preconceptions and barriers to understanding and engagement. Innovative, creative and engaging learning." 

“Inspiring communications and stimulating conversations.”

“Finding the fun in the fundamentals of business processes and sound practices. Fixing the fundations!”

"I see someone who, despite having SO much on his plate, just Gets On With It. Never a hardy outward whinge or woe-is-me moan about how much of a challenge everything is. Sure, you acknowledge it and know that the setup is anything but 'normal' but you still Get On With It. You find a way to move through the challenges, conduct your work, look after your wards, and make the world consistent and consistently better for those around you."

"Your facilitation generates immediate thinking from different perspective.  The legacy of these 'penny drop' moments have guided the team through difficult conversations.   Your questions have empowered the inner voice to be louder."

What's really changed in 20 years?

As some may know, every few years I pose a seemingly random question to clients, collaborators, and other cheerleaders, to help me better understand what I should be trying to do more / less of, in order to be the most helpful and useful consultant I can be.

This is part of a wider CPD framework I've built around myself and business, and is based on the 360-degree feedback model (but in a way that shouldn't mean you need therapy or a solicitor afterwards).

In previous rounds, this has seen me being turned into a statue, donning superhero tights, becoming a painting, throwing Molotov cocktails, growing onions, etc - https://thirdsectorexpert.blogspot.com/search/label/superpowers 

And as this is the 20th year since I set my business up, it feels right to be inviting people to play along with me again in this occasional activity, but I wanted to try a slightly different type of question:

What do you see (or think) my biggest impact (or footprint?) has been over the last 20 years, from what you've seen and known that I've done and been involved in?

(and I'm defining 'impact' as "a marked effect or influence")

And yes - this is a really mean question in a lot of ways, as (1) some of you haven't known me for this full period,  and (2) I'm not looking for the usual 'outcomes' that might typically relate to a specific project or programme.

Instead, what I'm fishing for are things that have shifted in how things are done, work, or thought about; or things that you've seen introduced, changed, or created as a result of something I wrote, did, or said.

They might directly relate to your role or organisation; they might be about things you've seen across a wider community; or at a whole sector level. They could even be what you've heard others say about me. And they can also be less than flattering (not all impact is always good - some new things can push out other stuff that was already there, and which was actually better).

In the interests of trying to keep with the original model of 360-degree feedback, if you'd prefer to anonymise your answer, you can add it through this form here: https://forms.gle/QijEizLHRduB6vFp6 

As always, however you feel you can respond (which can include not at all), it won't affect your standing on my Christmas card list later this year - and I'm looking to collate and share back what this finds after the summer.

And thanks in advance for anything you're able to share and reflect back to me.

why it's good not to 'niche'

There seems to be an 'accepted wisdom', lots of encouragement, and direction for us as freelancers, sole traders, and micro enterprises, and other types of businesses, to 'niche' - focus on one specialist thing and be the best at offering that. The logic we're given for this is that it will help make us more successful because:

1. it's then quicker and easier to explain what it is you do, and so be able to establish your brand, profile, etc with less effort;
2. it's easier to build a 'higher value' offer (i.e. make more money with less effort);
3. (and probably lots of other things that I forget, because I don't actually like the idea of 'niching' as you're about to learn, so I tend to block out the rest...)

BUT...

I don't 'niche' in what I offer as a business, and I'm not sure what circumstances might have to transpire for me to want to. That's because for me, the risks associating with niching are more than 'blown out of the water' by the benefits of my remaining a 'generalist':

1. Focusing on one thing means I wouldn't be using the full scope of the skill set that I've developed and identified I have over these last 20 years. Niching for me would me killing off parts of who I am and what I can do that might otherwise be interesting, useful, and fun.
2. I have an idea that niching ultimately offers less value to the clients, groups, and people I work with. Being a one-trick pony, however world-shatteringly good I'd be at it, would mean that I can't cross connect ideas and support from other themes and topics for them, to enhance the overall impact of my support to them (which would ultimately leave them poorer from the experience of my having walked alongside them for a time, than they are now).
3. Financially, niching is very risky. While it's true that the more niche you are, then the more likelihood you'd have of being able to have higher charge; the ultra-specialism of your focus and offer would mean that there are fewer potential overall clients who'd want or need your support. And they'd all be in largely the same place - which roughly means that all your eggs are in a single basket (or jars of tahini if you're a vegan), or who are all in same boat. If there's a recession, a shift in market trends, changes legislation or policy, etc, then you may find your market disappears overnight, with nowhere to easily turn to keep yourself going.

Reflecting on all of the above, I'm left wondering of niching is ultimately a 'cop out' for people who don't want to stretch themselves in building their skills as to what they might offer clients. Or if not, that they represent a group of people who are far happier and more comfortable to take risks than me?

If the former, then it's another example of how so many businesses are accepting the guidance they're offered at face value without questioning it, even if it means it's ultimately increasing the risk that they're fail in the future? If it's the latter, then I'm OK with being a relative scaredy-cat in comparison to them.

Tubthumping

In this, my business' 20th anniversary year, most people would usually be pausing to reflect on the highlights, achievements, legacy, etc of their work, and be making commitments about what they'll change/do in the next chapter. 

And yes, I'm doing this in various places throughout 2025, but I also wanted to pause to reflect on just how f*cking awesome my reaching this milestone is (and not just because only 10% of all businesses make it this far).

You see, I've endured my share of challenges since I first registered with HMRC at the start of 2005. I've alluded to some them in brief in various podcasts and interviews I've featured in over the years (which is possibly why I'm repeatedly asked to guest on the topic of resilience - most recently as part of the Freelance Thrive and Freelance Sucks podcasts). But I thought it was maybe time to 'go in record' with all of the big hits - not to encourage you to break out the tiny violins for me, but as hopeful solidarity and encouragement for anyone else out there, who may be struggling with similar, that you can come out of the other side of it (eventually):

• When I started freelancing/became self-employed, as well as having no savings to speak of, no clients, and no leads, I was sole financial supporter of my family for 12 years. During this time, I had to earn enough to cover all the household bills and costs, family expenses (clothes, trips, entertainments, etc), as well as my own business' needs. And I also had to financially support and cover some of the costs in my now ex-wife's business that she started up, for 7 of those years.
• As a family, we were made homeless by flooding twice, and I had to make up some of costs of rebuilding our home both times, as the insurance wouldn't cover everything - managing the rebuilding of your home, trying to encourage and support your family (which included young children) as they bounce around various temporary accommodations, whilst also keeping your own business running, were 3 plates that I'm not sure I always managed to balance as well as I should have. 
• I went through a divorce with my ex-wife that took a lot longer than my solicitor's experience said it should have - amongst other things connected with this, the process saw me disowned by my parents; lose my savings; and cede full ownership of the house I'd paid the full mortgage of. So at the age of 50, I started my life again with no house (other than the one I rent with my new wife); no savings; and no pension (many people who are self-employed of my generation have tended to buy their home as their pension fund).
• I've become the unpaid carer for 2 of my now adult children (likely lifelong), and another immediate family member (likely to be temporary) - and owing to how systems are designed (or not) for people like me, there's no support I'm able to access, nor am eligible to apply for, to support me in this role, nor them.
• My father has suffered through multiple sudden illnesses that technically should have killed him at least twice on each occasion, and he lives with my mum at the other end of the country to me - trying to keep all of the above progressing, whilst also taking time out to be with him and my mum as best I was able, meant that some of those plates I mentioned before probably weren't as balanced as well as they should have been.
• I've had several clinical procedures on one of my eyes to help me retain my sight in it (which also involved the wearing of eye patches, and not being able to read laptop or phone screens for several days at a time. But it did lead to an accidental discovery that I've always been missing part of my brain...).
• Following an unexpected ride in the back of an ambulance, I needed several years of treatments to help me resolve, and live with, skeletal issues (that were diagnosed just before my 40th birthday, and coincided with my celebrating my 10th year of being in business). As a result of these prolonged works on me, I'm able to move freely and without the need for painkillers on most days.
• I had surprise visit from police officers at 11pm one night, owing to unfounded allegations other people had made about me; and have had to break off client calls while working from home owing to neighbours (literally) kicking off at my family, on my doorstep. 
• The CIC Regulator opened a file on me once, because I openly questioned them about why they were knowingly allowing the CIC form to force social enterprises adopting it to compromise some of their core defining values that otherwise identified them as such.  
• There was a spell of about 5 years, when there was at least 1 client a year who was making official complaints about me (all of which were fully investigated by external bodies, and all of which fully exonerated me).
• I've been investigated by HMRC 3 times for suspected tax fraud (and fully cleared each time).
• Several people have written blogs attacking my professional reputation, standing, and credibility; and I've also been un-invited from speaking at conferences, after my book that challenges what everyone thinks they know and understand about imposter syndrome was published.
• My website has had to be taken down twice, owing to it becoming targeted in deliberate attacks by others.
• And I once had to write off a nearly £10,000 overdue invoice to a client that had accumulated over the course of a year - I was working with them on the basis that they were drawing funds from a grant making body to pay me, but they'd hit a temporary cash-flow hiccup as some Councils they were delivering contracts for were dragging their feet in paying them on time. I'd agreed they could use the cash that they'd received to pay me to temporarily plug this gap while I continued with the project, and then 'catch me up' with payments after said Councils cleared their overdue debts. Except those Councils never did pay up, and the enterprise went into administration.

And there's all the other typical challenge that most freelancers / sole traders contend with: ghosted by clients; late payment of invoices; tech explosions; falling ill; etc...

I've endured, navigated, and come through the other side (of the ones I was able to - some will remain with me for life), without access or recourse to sick pay, holiday pay, or any other employee assistance programme that I would otherwise been supported by were I salaried on a payroll. Being self-employed has meant I've had to find ways to deal with all of the above by myself, without help from anyone else.

I've written in the past about how I also find myself working in some vary 'dark places' with certain types of clients, (which I won't recant here, as they're usually to do with taboo subjects that most people find difficult to talk about, let alone ever want to actively acknowledge or think about). And as part of that blog post, how I deliberately try and bring some 'humour' to go some way to balance this (for both the people I work with who are living in/with those circumstances, as well as myself). 

But in light of the above, is it any wonder that my humour seems to sometimes border on the hysterical?

As Spider-Man once said in one of the many comics he's appeared in: when asked why he's always telling jokes despite the multiple traumas he's endured in his personal life: "It's because if I didn't laugh, I'd probably cry".

And the moral of the above (if there is one?) - however much you think things can't get any worse, the universe can always find a way of making it so... but if can hold your nerve and find ways to keep investing in your resilience, there's always a choice somewhere that can help you come out of the other side of it (and if you're lucky, in a way that doesn't include you having to lose any limbs/organs, or have things start to come to light when you next get a DBS check on yourself).

AI gets drunk with me...

A little while ago, as part of my ongoing CPD framework, I asked a sample of people who've worked with me how they'd introduce me to someone else.

Recently, I asked ChatGPT the same question, only with a twist: 

"explain what Adrian Ashton does in the style of a drunk at a party"

And the results?

leans in too close, sloshing drink slightly

"Oi, listen, mate—ya ever heard of Adrian Ashton? No? Ah, well, lemme tell ya, this guy—this guy—he’s like... ya know when you got a mate who just knows things? Like, business-y things, but not in a boring suit-and-tie kinda way. Nah, he helps folks, like, charities, freelancers, businesses—big, small, whatever—sort their, uh... stuff out. Strategy! Funding! Making sure they don’t, like, screw themselves over with dumb decisions.
And get this—he don’t do it the normal way. Oh no, no, no. He’s got this, uh, renegade vibe, yeah? Breaks the rules, but, like, in a good way. Thinks different. Writes these, uh... blogs? Reports? Manifestos or summat? People actually listen to him. I tried writing a blog once—got three views, and one was me mum.
But Adrian? People pay attention. ‘Cause he knows his stuff, yeah? Knows what makes businesses tick, and he’s not afraid to call out nonsense when he sees it. Bit of a legend, really. Anyway—where’s the next round?!" 

wobbles off towards the bar 

Considering that last year, AI started to suggest that I'd died without realising it, I think I'd be OK with this introduction...   

after 20 years, it's time to go to the toilet

My business is 20 years old.

20 years! Only about 10% of enterprises that start-up get this far. 

To put this in perspective - when I started out, smartphones didn't exist! (it would be another year before the first tweet was posted; 2 years before the first iPhone was released on the world; and 3 years before Dropbox was launched. The typical best internet speed was 1Mb compared to around 900Mb today - we had to rely on using sharpened bones to scratch messages onto stones, and then hope people picked those stones up when we threw them at them).

Now, it turns out that the material associated with this particular anniversary is porcelain - something that most of us here in Britain associated with toilets.

But for me to have gotten this far, porcelain actually seems an apt simile for me:

• it has a high elasticity - to be able to keep up with all the changes in the world over the last 2 decades, the range of work I do, and types of organisations I support across all sectors, means I've had to be able to easily keep stretching myself.
• it has considerable strength and hardness - I've pushed hard on some things over the years, often to personal and professional criticism and opposition. This includes: (successfully) challenging CIC legislation; publishing a book that exposes most of the claims that people make about 'imposter syndrome' to be unproven and/or not based in any factual evidences; shining a brighter light on the 500,000+ unpaid carers who are discriminated against by all the bodies that are supposed to be supporting them because they're the only type of carer who aren't recognised in law for the sole reason that we're also self-employed; and calling out the apparent unprofessional practices of some social investors, which are damaging the wider sector; to name but a few.  
• it's translucent - I've openly published details of how I'm creating (or not) impacts of different types each year; and also been honest in my blog posts about when and where I've gotten things wrong.  
• and it has a high resistance to shock - if you've followed my blog over the years, you'll know that since becoming self-employed, my family has been made homeless twice; my father (who lives at the other end of the country) has almost died twice; I've navigated a difficult divorce; been investigated for tax fraud by HMRC three times (and cleared every time); had 'unannounced police visits' late at night; and so on. So much so, that the few people who know just how much 'shock' I've had to respond to and work through over these last 2 decades, are all amazed that I'm not only still in business, but not needed to be admitted anywhere...

So I'm actually pretty chuffed to be associated with porcelain.

But I also didn't want to miss the opportunity to try and mark this milestone - so, linking back to the toilet analogy, I've decided to twin my office toilet with a school in Uganda via https://toilettwinning.org/

25% of all human beings today don't have somewhere safe, clean, and hygienic to go to the toilet. Not only does this create all sorts of associated 'bio-hazards', it strips fellow people of their dignity. And if schools don't have toilets, then kids will find ways not to go there for those reasons, and as a result, lose the chance for education and so lose the future that they could/should have had, including the opportunity to break generational poverty.

So the next time you're paying a visit to the loo this year, please think of me and what you might be able to do to similarly 'be more porcelain'; and maybe if you might also be able find a similar excuse to twin your toilet with someone else's. 

Maslow's doughnut

A lot of people have probably heard of 'Maslow's hierarchy' - it's based on the idea that as human beings, we have different 'levels' of need, and until we can satisfy one, we can't progress to the other (i.e. if we're homeless, it's hard to commit to a course of learning or securing a job).

In recent years, there's also been the emergence of 'donut economics' - the idea that because we live in a closed ecosystem (aka a planet revolving around the sun, and all we've got is what's already on it), we need to try and balance how we consume with how we live, and the donut creates a visual representation of this:

But I've been thinking recently about where these 2 models might/can/should overlap with each other - Maslow designed his model on the assumption that we should all be encouraging ourselves and each other us to be striving to reach the top of the pyramid, and that there would always be enough resources available for everyone to do this in ways that they determined were right for them. But maybe we need to be slightly more nuanced in this 'race to the top'? - not everything that's good for us is good for everyone else.

Could encouraging ourselves to work out what our 'personal doughnut' should be, and then thinking about where we are/want to be (in Maslows' hierarchy) allow us to more sustainably (and so better) achieve and set our personal ambitions, through recognising and understanding how our ambitions and choices affect others, and theirs, us?

(To work out your personal doughnut = https://doughnuteconomics.org/tools-and-stories/118)

Could this 'Maslow doughnut' be a better model for how we think about our personal development in the 21st century?

blending running a business with being a carer

Earlier this year, I found myself back in the Atomicon-verse (for those that don't know, it involves oversized pink pineapples, lots of freelancers getting giddy, and a strict 'no selling' rule). 

Most people involved in it seem to focus on the main day speakers, and the chance to hang out with people they normally only get to share a zoom screen with. But I've always found that the most encouraging, powerful, and useful part of it for me are the 'roundtables': hour-long on-line spaces in the weeks running up to it, hosted by people coming to the event, to share, reflect, and explore a range of self-chosen topics.

Last year, I was fortunate to be invited to lead one of these round tables, on the topic of being an unpaid carer and small business owner (see the write up from that here) - and this year, the ever upbeat Liz & Mike Cole were holding a space on how to approach 'blending' these 2 identities.

It saw a small group of us convene on screen at the appointed time, to initially offer mutual encouragement through each sharing a (very) small part of our story in how we'd come to gain our caring roles, after we'd already established and were running a business; and some of our struggles in reconciling often competing demands on us this leads to.

This also highlighted just how diverse caring roles can be:

- being a parent to young children

- being a foster carer

- being single parent, following the loss of a spouse

- having neurodivergent children (both young - of school age, and older - in their 20s)

- nursing a spouse through significant illness

- having elderly parents who struggle to live independently 

But we didn't focus on how we supported ourselves in these roles (as happened in last years' round table); our conversations instead explored how we can be more open about having a caring role, with our clients. 

This is because all of us identified to some extent with the concern that as freelancers and small businesses, clients buy us in to fix their problems - if they learn we also have caring responsibilities, which may mean we have to delay or defer working on their project, then they're more likely to pass us over for the commission. 

Several options and ideas emerged through these reflections together, and I've summarised them below, in hopes that they may be of encouragement and support to other unpaid carers in similar circumstances to us:

1) mapping the skills we've developed as unpaid carers, against the offers we can present to clients, to highlight how these responsibilities can offer us additional 'superpowers' in what we can offer them in turn;

2) highlighting the value and impact we've delivered to other clients whilst also having caring responsibilities, to challenge prejudice and bias on their part (however unconscious it might otherwise be);

3) pro-actively offer clarifications about our working practices to manage expectations, as part of our terms and conditions, as a means of 'positive disclosure';

4) referencing external research to validate the assertions we're making about all of the above with regards to our ability to deliver proposed projects.*

This isn't the first time that I've invested time in considering and exploring how to be more open with the world and clients about what it means for me to be an unpaid carer, and how this affects my working life - I had the opportunity to raise the question at an 'expert hot seat' session last year. However, in that instance, I felt rather disappointed with the response from the 'global experts' (who didn't have experience of caring roles themselves). Their suggestion was simply "Tell the client at some point, but don't make it a 'first date conversation' topic. If the client doesn't understand and isn't supportive, then you probably wouldn't want to work with them anyway". But that somehow misses the point of recognising that about 80% of the self-employed are already in poverty (before we add in the impact of being an unpaid carer, and the financial penalty we pay because of this), so we can't always have the luxury of being picky and choosy over the types of clients we work with...

Perhaps this divergence in experience can be attributed to the adage that those with the affected experience are best placed to know how to best respond to it? But as last years' round table on this topic highlighted, we seem to have precious little opportunity to currently do so, so I've very appreciate of Mike and Liz to have hosted the space, for us, and for everyone who was part of it on the day.

* There's not much of such research out there at the moment, but following last years' round-table on the subject, ipse and other national sector bodies have subsequently gotten interested in this topic (given that it's been identified there are about 500,000 of us!), so there should be more evidences hopefully emerging soon...  

darkness and light

Most people who know me (professionally) tend to associate me with stories about wacky props in zoom calls; encouraging people to play with Lego in workshops; and awarding prizes for whoever on a conference panel I'm chairing, delivers their presentation in the shortest time (or risk being chased off stage by me with my water pistols...). 

What some may not know about me is that part of the reason I try and bring such frivolity and apparent disregard for the accepted ways in which things are usually done by injecting more fun into proceedings, is that I also work in some very dark places: for example - researching trends and influences on the reasons why and how people choose to end their life by suicide to inform national policy; supporting refuges and services rescuing survivors of domestic abuse on how they can scale the number of women and children they're able to work with; coaching founders of start-ups who've just received a terminal diagnosis on how they think about their legacy; and consulting with Boards as to how their organisation should respond to their chief executive (or similar) unexpectedly dying in their sleep or in an accident.

Despite what may appear to be my default/usual positive and encouraging attitude that the world and (most) clients see, I'm always aware that however hard we might wish otherwise, there will always be suffering around us (albeit usually hidden just beneath the surface).

It's there for all of us to see if we choose to recognise it - or we can choose to ignore it; we can hope someone else deals with it; and we can hope beyond hope that we might never have to face those issues in or own lives.

Personally, I choose to recognise it - and in doing so, to try and break the taboos that surround it which means it remains hidden, and acknowledge it as part of the messiness of life. A choice that many people with lived experience of issues challenges seem to also share, based on the origin stories of so many social entrepreneurs, and founders of charities. 

However, if we do decide to accept these harder things that all around us, and try and figure out what our role might be in lessening the pain they cause, we need to be careful that we don't end up becoming overwhelmed ourselves (research shows that social entrepreneurs are the group of people who are the highest risk of burnout). For me, part of trying to figure out that balance involves encouraging apparent silliness whenever and wherever I can: because there's enough darkness out there already. We all need to try and bring what light we can for the benefit of all of us.

being all things to all people - the realities of being self employed and an unpaid carer

This post was written at the start of carers week 2023 - and is based on conversations amongst freelancers and owners of small businesses at events hosted by Freelance Heroes and Atomicon23.

It is not intended to offer definitive, medical, or legal counsel or guidance - but reflect emergent themes and issues that may be of encouragement and support to others; and possibly also highlight future wider policy development needs. 

My name is Adrian, and I'm an unpaid carer for my adult step-child, as well as being a freelance business consultant.

In my head that makes me sound like I'm at an alcoholics anonymous meeting, but maybe it's not too dissimilar: people often struggle to feel comfortable in knowing how to best behave in the company of an alcoholic, and similarly with someone who's an unpaid carer (unless you're living it day to day, it can be hard to fully appreciate the realities of the identities and roles that you hold and manage as such).

But unlike my counterparts who are in salaried, direct employment, there are no legal recognitions for me as an unpaid carer in my (paid) work; and no data on how many other people like me there are - in preparing to host the roundtable discussions that this blog is based on, the Office of National Statistics, the Labour Force Survey, and ipse all revealed that there is no data about how many people who are self-employed/business owners are also unpaid carers. 

A rough-cut extrapolation of data I could find about unpaid carers in general, and different models of employment, might seem to suggest that roughly 10% of the self-employed are also unpaid carers (that's about half a million people!), and of those, less than 1 in 10 have access to any support for themselves in these roles - and as freelancers, we're more likely to be in poverty if we're an unpaid carer than if we were salaried.

Starting to initially explore these issues with groups of fellow freelancers, small business owners, and sole traders who are also unpaid carers like me, saw the following emerge and being shared:

 

Busting accepted wisdom about origin stories

It can be easy to assume that people who are unpaid carers chose to become self-employed to offer themselves more flexibility around their unpaid caring role - but what came out of the discussions, is that this wasn't always the case.

Often, people took on the mantle of an unpaid carer role after having been self-employed for many years, and as a result subsequently found they needed support with redeveloping how they worked in order to be able to maintain their earnings to continue to support themselves and their families (but this isn't offered/available to them).

Seeing it coming

In one of the roundtables, a person shared how they had joined the conversation to learn from others' experiences because they had recently recognised that in future years, they will need to be more actively involved in supporting the care of their parents. 

They were trying to be pro-active in managing the impact that becoming an unpaid carer would have on themselves, their family, and their business by better understanding the likely realities they will experience when they do. As a result, they hoped to be able to best plan to mitigate the impacts of this - and this roundtable had offered them the first opportunity to be able to do this in any meaningful way.

The need for a better handbook

Through sharing their experiences, people agreed that there was much about being an unpaid carer that they wish they had know sooner, but which no-one had told them (for example - the benefits of being able to be formally recognised and registered as a carer for a family member). 

While there is knowledge out there, it can be hard to navigate and identify ("you don't know what you need to know, so don't know what questions to ask").  People are frequently relying on friends and family for informal (emotional) support for themselves, but as encouraging as these people might be, they rarely know of practical and pre-existing systems and processes that unpaid carers can apply to, but often aren't told about.

The limiting of business growth and potential

A common recurring practicality about being an unpaid carer that was shared, was how it meant that the businesses we had created all had to be limited in terms of their potential to grow in order to honour our caring responsibilities - and with that, our ability to innovate and develop new services and offers in the marketplace.

Whilst this is obviously a personal decision that all unpaid carers find ways to eventually reconcile, this speaks to the impact of the need for unpaid care to our wider economy.

The cost to our personal futures

As well as the financial impact that being an unpaid carer creates through loss of earnings (which is not mitigated through carers allowance were it is able to be awarded), there was also concern about how little support there is for us to be able to access for ourselves in this role - one person shared how becoming an unpaid carer had led to them being diagnosed with mental ill health, and being subsequently needing to be prescribed anti-depressants.

The emotional stresses that unpaid care places on us therefore also affects the future we might have otherwise experienced for ourselves, through it is affecting our well-being today. 

The need for supportive clients

A tension was briefly explored around our relationships with our clients as small business owners - specifically, how far we're open with them about our identify and priorities as an unpaid carer, and how this tension can be managed in how we work with them. As freelancers, our clients come to us to solve problems quickly, responsively, and without adding to their own existing complexity, so revealing we may need to drop them at no notice because of a caring need, may understandably 'spook' them a little...

People shared how their clients were generally sympathetic and flexible in work agreed - but not every business that commissions us will be able to be such; which loops us back to the limiting on our business' potential that being an unpaid carer can entail.

Taking back control

Being self-employed often means we face a barrage of external stressors because of the ever-changing circumstances we all experience that are instigated by others (clients, government, etc) - and being an unpaid carer only exacerbates these through the additional unknowns of how the child, parent, or sibling we care for may respond on any given day to any given event, how reviews of their care or support plans may trigger new complications, and so on.

The roundtables therefore also tried to look at how we're approaching supporting ourselves, and in doing so, gain a little more control over our own lives:

- counselling support from the FSB was mentioned as one of their member benefits, that one person had made use of;

- one person shared how they had chosen to deliberately limit the earnings of their business to reduce the stress on having to work with multiple clients on different deadlines which would otherwise be constantly competing with the needs of their child, that they are the unpaid carer for;

- taking out a private health care plan to be able to arrange GP appointments, any procedures, etc at times that suited them, rather than playing the lottery of NHS scheduling and waiting lists, was shared by someone else;

- registering as a limited company, rather than remaining a sole trader, was shared as a way one person had approached reducing the stress they were feeling about the risks in their business alongside being an unpaid carer.

But these roundtables weren't all 'doom and gloom' as might start to be otherwise interpreted based on the above:

- there was also news about 'Cornerstone', a new emergent peer community for freelancers who are also unpaid carers being created;  

- gratitude was expressed for people having the opportunity to (briefly) share time with their peers, and be edified from hearing that what they were experiencing wasn't unique to them; 

- and people also valued how being an unpaid carer creates space for us to reflect on our own personal identities as human beings.

If you're an unpaid carer you may find the below sites of help (as well as links in the various parts of the blog above):

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/looking-after-people/carers-help-and-support/

https://www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/help-for-carers

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/

I'm also happy to offer to speak with any fellow small business owners, sole traders, and freelancers to swap stories that may be of mutual benefit - as well as with any sector or national bodies to further explore potential policy and initiatives that may address some of the themes and issues these roundtables identified:

- the impact to the economy of 500,000 businesses not being able to achieve their potential;

- the need for business disruption to be avoided when small business owners transition into unpaid care roles;

- how freelancers can be better supported to access support/avoid poverty when becoming unpaid carers.

UPDATE 3rd AUG 2023:

Published after these round tables, and blog was written up, JRF have undertaken some further research into this, and found that as unpaid carers who are also freelance/self-employed/small business owners, we pay a #CaringPenalty (suffer lost earnings) of nearly £10,000 every year!

- any wonder so many of us are finding ourselves being pushed into poverty?

https://www.jrf.org.uk/report/caring-penalty

I'm always trying to be a better conman

One of the recurring pieces of feedback I get from many of the people and organisations I've worked with, is how they've enjoyed how the ways in which I've enabled them to create the changes they've struggled to achieve, but always aspired to.

And got me thinking about what the 'secret sauce' is that I always try and use, and bring to every project and contract I'm involved with.

I've realised it's all about my being a con-man:

Con(findence) - modelling behaviours and actions myself, to inspire and encourage others in turn; so that they might be able to reach further than they thought they could, or felt brave enough to.

Con(nections) - we all rely on other people to varying degrees for everything that we want to achieve and enjoy in this life. I'm always happy to share contacts in my network with others to try and create some serendipity whenever and wherever possible. I also recognise that I'm mortal, so at some point, people will need to know who else they might be all to call on in the future... 

Con(viction) - life is hard and unfair. We need to keep finding ways to motivate ourselves, which is why I try and only get involved in work that I think is meaningful in some way, and creates benefit for others. Part of how I work is wanting to find ways to get excited about the things I find myself involved in.

So there it is - I'm a conman, and that's probably a good thing for the people who ask me to share some of their journeys and adventures with them.      

erased from history (by facebook)

You won't be able to find me on Facebook any more.

And more than that - you won't be able to find any trace that I was ever there since I first registered my account on the platform about 20 years ago... no sign of any photos I posted, comments I made on your posts, nor membership of any groups.

And it's not because I've decided I hate you all and don't want to hang out with you anymore - but because I found myself being targeted by hackers who, it seems, when they couldn't get through my passwords and 2-factor authentication do-hickey, managed to find a back door way to link my personal Facebook profile to what must have been a very illegal Instagram account.

And I know this because when I recently tried to log into Facebook , it told me that my account has been disabled - and reading around this topic, it seems that whatever the hackers were doing on the Instagram account was bad enough for it to qualify as an immediate and automatic disabling (deleting) of both that account, and under the rules of the Metaverse, any accounts linked to it (which included mine, thanks to the hackers), with no right to be able to submit a request to review the decision.

Now - I know what most of you reading this will be thinking at this point:

"how awful for you (I'm glad it wasn't me that happened to!)"

"that's really unfair that you can't appeal this - surely there must be something you can do?"

Well - like I said, I read around this level of disabling and them's the rules that we signed up to when we created our accounts, and agreed to keep them going when Facebook went Meta.

Life isn't always fair - and no-one owes me anything (a personal mantra that helps me with navigating and pressing on in this world).

I'm fortunate to have grown up in a pre-Facebook world, so as upsetting as this might seem, I feel I'm able to bear it better than those that have come after me into this internet age would. Somehow I navigated this life before Facebook was born, so there's a chance I'll (hopefully) be able to again.

Whilst I do have the option to 'regenerate' myself on Facebook by recreating a new profile and account from scratch, I'm not immediately rushing to do so.

I'm using this unexpected plot twist to allow myself some time away from that playground - to have space to reflect and experience what it's like not to be on Facebook, so that if/when I return, I'll be clearer about how I manage my relationship with it (and hopefully it will have strenthgthed it's security and rights of appeal by then, too...)  

I'm an onion.

Last year, as part of my ongoing CPD, I asked people what they thought a statue of me should hold in its hand (see https://thirdsectorexpert.blogspot.com/2022/07/molotov-cocktails-jelly-babies-onions.html for the full story...)

And whilst some of the suggestions people made caught me by surprise (such as a Molotov cocktail!), a couple of people suggested an onion.

And one of them added an explanatory note as to why they thought an onion best symbolised me: 

- It has many layers

- It has a heart

- It has a tough skin 

- It is an essential part of the majority of recipes 

- It represents good food and people coming together

- It is versatile 

- If you give it care and attention it becomes sweet and mild (although I'd like to think I'm sweet and mild to begin with?)

- It is a vegetable that is important to all sectors of society

And so I think I'm quite pleased if people see me as an onion.

But what vegetable do people see you as?

Faith in facilitation

Amongst other things, I sometimes support clients and groups in the guise of a facilitator – which has led to my hosting a monthly meetup call of similar people to share stories and encouragements, and also having been part of the internationally acclaimed IAF England and Wales hybrid conference earlier this year.

But more recently, it led to a group of facilitators coming together to risk of being heretical and incurring divine retributions by openly talking about Faith – how our approaches to working with clients who are rooted in it may differ from those that don’t; if we profess a personal faith as facilitators, how this impacts on our work; and generally trying to avoid being blasphemous…https://www.meetup.com/iaf-facilitators-and-friends/events/289026521/

 

Don’t mention God?

A quick round of ‘hello, how do you do?’s identified that most people in this conversation professed a Christian faith of some type – although many are actively seeking ways to ‘deconstruct’ this in crossing traditional boundaries of denominations and traditions, to explore how their faith remains relevant and pertinent to the issues we face today as individuals and society.

This realisation that we were then having a conversation in something of an ‘echo chamber’ in not having a wider diversity of beliefs and non-beliefs gave us pause to wonder if this had happened because we’d self-selected ourselves on the basis of the session being explicitly around this theme? And in turn, that led to our realisation that in being part of a wider body of facilitators, we don’t actually know how far faith is or isn’t a part of our shared cultural identity within this community of practice – and that we never ask each other about this: perhaps because it’s a legally protected characteristic, and so we fear accidentally falling foul of the law?

  

Faith vs. Secular

In further establishing that we’d all had experiences of facilitating groups of people who shared an identity rooted in faith, and well as those that didn’t, we mulled over what different this makes (if any?) through a sharing of some of our experiences and stories together (all of which were safely anonymised and sanitised):

• Faith groups will have values that are more visible and influencing on their decision making and how they reflect – such groups can therefore sometimes expect that their facilitator “sings from same hymn sheet” in having enough commonality with those values to offer them an assurance over how the facilitation process will be managed and delivered. But this risks facilitation losing its neutrality (part of the defining nature of the process). 
• People draw on faith for personal security, and informing their identity in ways that go beyond and further than a person would view their personal relationships with their (paid) jobs – and as facilitation should push people into spaces that they may not always be comfortable in, there needs to more time spent in careful planning to ensure sufficient psychological safety has been created for the group. 
• The ‘maturity’ or extent to which a faith community has engaged with wider cultural norms and practices in society around them were felt to be a key factor in how facilitation processes could be best designed with them – for example, if people feel their theology is being threatened, they can quickly withdraw and disengage from a process. But if they have already been part of conversation and debate that has allowed them to critically reflect on their beliefs, creeds, and dogmas, then they will be more able to constructively engage with a more open facilitation process.

Godly Gaffes

In following the adage “to err is human, to forgive Divine”, we also sought to explore what learning we might draw out from where we’d worked with faith groups and things hadn’t concluded with them in the way we had anticipated at the outset…

• Having a starting point in a process of trying to create the perfect (church) community was felt to be an ‘own goal’ with hindsight: in this story it was only as the agreed process proceed and started to become unstuck in places was it realised that the point of a church isn’t to be perfect: it should always allow space and opportunities for growth (a core tenant of all beliefs). 
• Having an assumption that the outcome of a process will be able to be adopted and acted on was another ‘gaffe’ shared –facilitation often crates new outcomes that existing systems may not exist to accommodate. This can be challenging enough for secular groups, but as faith communities can often be culturally steeped in maintaining and celebrating traditional practices, this makes introducing and managing change more difficult for them.

Helpful hints for facilitators

In trying to draw some points of learning from these stories that we might use as ‘initial hints and tips’ that we might share with a fellow facilitator who is thinking about/starting to work with a faith community, 2 key insights were agreed: 

• think of everyone in a faith community as a volunteer (even if they’re paid) - the culture of faith means their organisations will be closer in feel to community groups and smaller charities than formal organisations. 
• be prepared to practice grace in terms of patience and acceptance: although issues that arise when working with faith groups are usually similar to those with secular groups, they are more explicit and manifest to greater degree owing to faith being a bigger part of people’s personal identity than their job is.

Faithful facilitators 

Finally, we turned inwards to ourselves as facilitators to begin to consider the influence that any faith we profess might/should have in informing how we work.

This identified that for some, we saw our work as our ‘calling’, whilst others saw their role as such in a more pragmatic way to work – a means to a (greater) end. Understandably, depending on which position you hold, your response to the question of “would you ever turn work down because of your beliefs” drew contrasting responses that might be expected.

Those for whom work is more than just a job were more explicit and open about how this informs their choice over clients they choose to work with. But briefly exploring this from faith-based perspectives and the scriptures of different beliefs, highlighted various examples of where a person of faith deliberately chose to put themselves, and work, in both places and with people that their wider community of faith might not otherwise feel comfortable with nor appropriate.

 

Heading to the promised land

In seeking to draw conclusions from the conversations, it was apparent that we’d probably created more questions than we’d been able to reach a consensus in answering. But this in turn prompted some in the call to want to keep exploring these ideas and themes further – so they’re now off finding times to convene to start to explore and design what/when that might look like. If you want to remain updated as to when more details about it are confirmed, please contact me and I’ll start a list….