the worst of all worlds?

There's a pervading message that starting up your own business gives you more control of your life - you get to choose who you work with, when you work, etc. All of which helps reduce the stress of being at the beck and call of a boss (who you may not like).

But of course, there's a balancing cost to this control which isn't talked about as much: irregular income, no holiday/sick pay, no automatic pension contributions, etc (which means that various researches are starting to find that being an entrepreneur may not actually be that great for our mental health after all...).

Which means when it comes to working, there's a(n over-simplified) choice available to us:

1) work for someone else - which may limit our enjoyment, cause stress, but offers regular pay and time off;

or

2) work for ourselves - which gives us more freedom and choice, but means less security of income to pay the rent / buy food with, etc.

What I based my choice on (and the cost of this)

As I enter the 21st year of being in business for myself, I'm starting to wonder if I somehow haven't accidentally set myself up to 'enjoy' the worst of both of these options...

You see, my particular business model is based primarily on being an associate to other agencies and approved provider lists (I'm usually paid by other people for the work I do with client organisations). This means that while it may be easier for work to come to me, I have less choice in it, it may pay less, and it's usually structured so that I'm part of a managed team under a project manager/boss - just as if I were an employee (with all of the usual strains, pressures, and politics involved of such).

This model of working is based on my values of trying to be more accountable and transparent in how I work - but highlights that our values come at a cost: although there may be work coming in for me, and there are more checks and balances to check the quality of my work, it's often in a way that means I need to act as an employee would (with all the stresses of that) but without any of the benefits that being an employee would offer (no sick / holiday pay, etc).

Why I seem to be working in ways that make no sense

I can already hear some of you thinking "if you don't like it so much, then why not change the way you work?". Well, dear reader, that would mean I have to compromise on some of the values that define me. I'm therefore sharing this here not for sympathy, but to illustrate that in all of our choices, there's always a trade-off somewhere...

It's also shared in hopeful encouragement to others who are also thinking about their own respective business models / ways of working - it's up to us to work out how far we're willing to accept the trade offs of the choices we have. 

So while it may feel tougher than I'd like at times, running my business in a way that continues to buck conventional wisdom is my choice, and one that I regularly recommit to with eyes wide open. It's only me who has to sleep with my conscience at night: what I'm ok with in my business model won't be ok for you (and vice versa) - but shouldn't we all regularly pause to check that our business model isn't accidentally starting to make us become people we don't like?

NB - I always try and offer credit where its due: this particular post was inspired by Tom Jepson, and one of his 'subscriber only' YouTube lives.

why you're more, (and less), important to me than you may think you are

I try and see everyone as an equally important human being (an idea that started when I was a member of the Daily Bread worker co-operative, and which emerged as I learnt of the basis for it having a flat pay structure, regardless of people's skills, experience, age, qualifications, etc).

What qualifies you as a more important person?

You may be the chief exec of a national charity, but why does that make you more deserving of my time than some who's just been released from prison and is needing someone to support them with creating a new enterprise so they can avoid re-offending? You might argue that the hundreds of lives I can impact through working with the chief exec outweigh the needs of the individual ex-offender, but I'm not sure I'm qualified to judge the worth and value of anyone's life against another in this way.

This means that I try and treat everyone equitably - which includes how I allocate and prioritise time in my calendar, in managing projects and work (and with consideration for how this means I can continue to honour my unpaid caring responsibilities to several family members).

The consequence of nobody being unimportant

While this may sound magnanimous and to be credited, it does have consequences. 

Specifically, it can sometimes create longer lead times for my being able to offer dates and timescales for starting/completing projects. 

The last quarter of the financial year (January - March) is always extra busy for me, as programme managers realise that there's now only a few weeks to complete projects, ensure budgets are spent, and all the activity that they need to deliver by the end of the (financial) year is somehow physically able to be achieved. And for some of these people, I seem to be one of their favourite consultants to get to swing in and help out fix problems like these...

At the start of this particular (calendar) year, I found myself having to start to have to say 'no' to chief execs of charities, community outreach teams in national museums, and others who called to seek my support in delivering their projects that were due for completion by the end of March, as it was too short notice for me to be able to have space in my calendar when they needed me (in the following weeks).

A problem that's to be welcomed?

Now I recognise this as the lament that many of my fellow freelancers and small businesses wish they could similarly suffer: to have so much work on, that we're not able to take on anything new (so I should be happy, knowing that I can definitely pay the rent this month). But having to say no to requests today risks people not coming back to me in the future after they've found a new favourite consultant in my stead (which becomes bad for my paying rent in the future).

But I draw some solace in this tension from when I publicly 'came out' as sole unpaid sandwich carer - clients were more open to my working with them remotely rather than in person (which was their original project design); and some are even happy to delay project start dates while I may need to be away supporting family members with significant surgeries and the initial weeks of their recovery. 

So hopefully the same pattern may hold true in the future, and my having to say 'no' to some people today won't mean there's fewer calls in the future...

But is there a moral of this rambling..? 

I'm sharing this in hopes of assuring anyone that I've been saying no to, that it's not because I don't like you (see the opening of this post) - it's just there are certain times of the year that it's harder for me to add anything more to my calendar... And during these moments, please know that I'm very appreciative of your patience.

after 20 years, it's time to go to the toilet

My business is 20 years old.

20 years! Only about 10% of enterprises that start-up get this far. 

To put this in perspective - when I started out, smartphones didn't exist! (it would be another year before the first tweet was posted; 2 years before the first iPhone was released on the world; and 3 years before Dropbox was launched. The typical best internet speed was 1Mb compared to around 900Mb today - we had to rely on using sharpened bones to scratch messages onto stones, and then hope people picked those stones up when we threw them at them).

Now, it turns out that the material associated with this particular anniversary is porcelain - something that most of us here in Britain associated with toilets.

But for me to have gotten this far, porcelain actually seems an apt simile for me:

• it has a high elasticity - to be able to keep up with all the changes in the world over the last 2 decades, the range of work I do, and types of organisations I support across all sectors, means I've had to be able to easily keep stretching myself.
• it has considerable strength and hardness - I've pushed hard on some things over the years, often to personal and professional criticism and opposition. This includes: (successfully) challenging CIC legislation; publishing a book that exposes most of the claims that people make about 'imposter syndrome' to be unproven and/or not based in any factual evidences; shining a brighter light on the 500,000+ unpaid carers who are discriminated against by all the bodies that are supposed to be supporting them because they're the only type of carer who aren't recognised in law for the sole reason that we're also self-employed; and calling out the apparent unprofessional practices of some social investors, which are damaging the wider sector; to name but a few.  
• it's translucent - I've openly published details of how I'm creating (or not) impacts of different types each year; and also been honest in my blog posts about when and where I've gotten things wrong.  
• and it has a high resistance to shock - if you've followed my blog over the years, you'll know that since becoming self-employed, my family has been made homeless twice; my father (who lives at the other end of the country) has almost died twice; I've navigated a difficult divorce; been investigated for tax fraud by HMRC three times (and cleared every time); had 'unannounced police visits' late at night; and so on. So much so, that the few people who know just how much 'shock' I've had to respond to and work through over these last 2 decades, are all amazed that I'm not only still in business, but not needed to be admitted anywhere...

So I'm actually pretty chuffed to be associated with porcelain.

But I also didn't want to miss the opportunity to try and mark this milestone - so, linking back to the toilet analogy, I've decided to twin my office toilet with a school in Uganda via https://toilettwinning.org/

25% of all human beings today don't have somewhere safe, clean, and hygienic to go to the toilet. Not only does this create all sorts of associated 'bio-hazards', it strips fellow people of their dignity. And if schools don't have toilets, then kids will find ways not to go there for those reasons, and as a result, lose the chance for education and so lose the future that they could/should have had, including the opportunity to break generational poverty.

So the next time you're paying a visit to the loo this year, please think of me and what you might be able to do to similarly 'be more porcelain'; and maybe if you might also be able find a similar excuse to twin your toilet with someone else's. 

"I didn't expect there'd be so much blood..."

I was recently invited to be the 'headline act' at the monthly Facilitators cafe - a gathering of people with an interest in facilitation to hang out with their peers, reflect on practices, tools, experiences, etc.

And I took the opportunity to encourage people to do some 'stick poking' at the worlds of psychometric tools and profiling - things like Myers Briggs, Belbin Team Roles, DISC profiles, etc, which are designed to tell us/others about how we think and behave as human beings (and are usually favoured by lots of HR recruitment teams, even though they weren't originally designed for this purpose...).

My reason for this was pretty much based on the approach I always take with tools and frameworks that are presented to us as the next 'new brilliant thing' - I have an idea that all too often we rush to adopt and start to use them, without first sense checking how safe they may be, what their origin stories are, and if they do actually live up to all the hype around them (based on evidence, research, and experience).

Within the context of the time available (just under an hour, and which also had to include time for people to show off their Christmas jumpers - it was December, after all!), I suggested we create spaces (aka breakout rooms, as the cafe's a virtual one in zoom) for people to reflect on how they'd experienced these types of tools in the context of facilitating different types of groups.

Encouragingly, the consensus that emerged is broadly similar to my own (which is based on looking at different published researches into efficacy, accuracy, and safety of different psychometric frameworks...):

- "they're a tool, not a rule". We shouldn't feel obliged to be a slave to their process, or bound by what they 'score', but rather treat them flexibly, and as circumstances may otherwise dictate; 

- they're designed for individuals to reflect on themselves in a controlled environment, rather than an open facilitated session, so can't and shouldn't be used as they're designed to be. To do so would require a lot of time (which reduces the ability of the group to otherwise progress against the aims of the wider session), and increases the risk of harm and distress amongst individuals within the group in doing then so openly and publicly;

- they should be used 'lightly', with lots of 'safety rails' put in place: as one fellow facilitator shared, when recounting their use of a psychometric with a group as part of a session they facilitated: "I didn't expect there'd be so much blood...";

- it's easy to get caught in a "model muddle": with so many different frameworks out there, and each claiming to be the best, how can we be sure we're playing with the right ones?

Ultimately, we all agreed that tools like these, as with any others, are only helpful to us as facilitators if they can answer the "...so what?" question. If they don't quickly, easily, and safely help to generate insights or outputs which directly contribute to achieving a session's aims, then they're probably going to be a distraction at best.

And intriguingly, one of the cafe patrons shared how they'd taken some of the principles and ideas around psychometrics and adapted these: early on any any session, they now share a short story. Depending on how people react to different parts of that story, or how they respond to it overall, gives that facilitator a working model for how they understand each person is likely to subsequently react to different prompts or stage and elements in the session plan.

Oh, and I also got to 'show off' one of the more playful approaches I use when working with a group that's been established for a while already, and people are used to working together: Ulla Zang, as a relatively safe prompt to help people reflect on, and refresh, how well they really think they know and perceive each other.     

it's getting harder for me to be patient with (some of) you

I've always tried to manage my business in ways that reflect my values - and as some may know, this includes a practice of 'grace'. This is manifest through my automatically offering to reschedule a call/meeting/session with a client or collaborator if it transpires that they fail to 'turn up', without additional charge* (even though it represents lost time and earnings for me - I'm not salaried, which means I have to make every hour I spend count, in helping to generate enough income to pay the rent, etc).

This grace is based on my idea that we're all human beings - sometimes, we simply 'forget', or the universe has other plans for us at that time, despite our best intentions to the contrary (a child is sick, we're suddenly faced with an employee in crisis, etc). And I know that if it were me in such a position, I'd hope that there'd be some similar understanding and compassion - so I try and act in this way in turn**.

Over the last few years, I've started to track just how much my practice of grace represents/costs me, as part of my annual impact reports.

Since I started to record it 5 years ago, its averaged nearly £7,000 a year! And although it seemed to 'peak' in 2021/2 (which I attributed to the 'fall out' from the pandemic), and has been steadily slowly dropping each year since then (last years' figure was £6,675) - my experiences at the start of this year are not encouraging... 

In the first month of this new financial year alone, I've already 'lost' nearly £900 - which may not sound like much to some, but if this is a pattern which continues for the rest of the year (and I've generally seen a need to exercise my grace consistently over the year, since I started to record it), then you can hopefully see how it will quickly accumulate to exceed what the average has been for the last 5 years. 

I know I'm not the only freelancer / self-employed who this happens to - but bear in mind that I'm also a registered unpaid carer, which, according to research published by JRF last year, means I'm already foregoing at least £10,000 each year in earnings because of this circumstance.

So hopefully you can understand and appreciate how, if I seem a little cool with you in reconvening after you've needed to rebook time with me, it's not because I don't like you - it's because I find the behaviours and/or circumstances that have led to it not only showing a potential lack of respect for my time (and therefore me), but are also causing me tangible pain.

And yes, I could introduce a policy of 'pay or play' (i.e. - if you don't turn up, I still charge you), but that would feel like it would be cutting against my values of trying to encourage others by recognising that sometimes despite our best efforts, we simply can't honour an arrangement...  But it is something that I'm looking to have to start to factor into working agreements where this happens in the course of my working with a client from now on.

*for clarification, 'without notice' includes messaging me less than 24 hours before the arranged time - as this means I'm similarly unable to find other meaningful client work or activity: representing lost earnings for me.

**if you're wondering - yes, I also track the extent to which I may have also 'forgotten' or not been able to offer the other person more than 24 hours notice myself.

why not being an academic means university students get more benefit from my teaching

Over the last 25 years or so, I've found myself approached from time to time to speak as a guest / associate lecturer within within various universities and faculty schools. And sometimes, I've also been asked to help design new degree course content around themes of social entrepreneurship; social innovation; and there's even a podiatry degree that now has an enterprise start-up module in it thanks to me!

The feedback is always that students enjoy my sessions, and they seem to get more out of them than they do in their usual taught syllabi (a group of students who were part of a startup bootcamp I was part of told me that they'd gained more useful knowledge from the 2 day sessions I'd delivered, than they had from the last 2 years of their business degree!). 

However, despite this consistent appreciation and validation from students, I'm sometimes not invited back...

So there's obviously a dilemma here: students enjoy it, but the university doesn't.

This relates to the old-school marketeers story of the bakers dilemma: understanding that your customer and consumer are often two very different groups of people, each with their own divergent expectations and needs: 

- students want new experiences, they want to learn in new ways, they want to develop their own critical skills in new ways;

- but further and higher education is a regulated teaching context, where curriculum content has to be covered, and assessed in pre-determined ways.

I'm therefore always trying to walk the line between ensuring a university is able to ensure compliance with its teaching requirements, but at the same time, students get an experience different to what they might usually enjoy.

But I also recognise that I'm not 'academically gifted' in the traditional sense: I scraped through school with a clutch of GCSE passes; similarly limped through College with only 2 A-Levels just about passed; and was only offered a place at a business school through clearing (which subsequently saw me graduate with a 'Desmond'* after 5 years) - but I've since gone on to create, co-design, and develop curriculum content and modules for a number of universities and international colleges; influence national policy and company law, etc. 

And all of this means I carry a prejudice and bias about how I see the value of taught curriculums and formal education - but in turn, this means I'm more emboldened to take risks and do things very differently to how students might usually experience learning in academic institutions. And it's this difference that they seem to appreciate and enjoy: having someone who not only talks about how things can be done differently, but physically models this too, encourages them to re-examine their own wider learning and how they are engaging with it, and in doing so, get even more value and benefit from it.

* if you don't know what this is, then I'm obviously far older than I'd like to think I am for making this cultural reference...

how to (instantly) lose credibility as a key-note speaker

We've all been to conferences, webinars, and other events where there are headline speakers presented to us in a fanfare of excitement - and we all find ourselves getting whipped up in anticipation of what they're going to say, and then as they're delivering their message/story/challenge, we find ourselves moved to start to take action and make changes in our lives and businesses.

But what if the changes we make because of what these big name people exhort us to, are actually based on lies, and these high-ticket speakers are actually misleading us?

In the last few months, I've been at events where some of the 'big names' touted as to why I should attend them have based their whole arguments on different un-truths, including:

1) it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in something

2) according to the laws of physics, bees shouldn't be able to fly

And if you're reading this thinking - but those things are true, please ask yourself this: how do you know they're true? Chances are, you believe them because you've heard them repeated by lots of people over time. (This is know as 'the illusionary truth effect'.) I'm pretty sure, you won't haven't researched either for accuracy or published research, because you already believe them to be true so, don't need to fact-check them.

My concern about this perpetuating of un-truths as part of people supporting their ideas or arguments, that they want us to act on is this:

- If you're asking me to believe the ideas you're presenting to me, but the foundations that you're building them on simply aren't true, then:

a) you've shown you can't be bothered to do some simple homework / fact-checking, which makes me wonder what else in your approach is similarly 'lazy'?

b) if you're asking me to trust you by relying on things that have been proven to be untrue, then that's a hard ask...

Reflecting on my own experiences and feelings of when key-note speakers have 'shown themselves up' in this way, I find myself immediately 'switching off' to want to listen to anything else that they're wanting to offer and argue - because I simply feel I can't trust it, and that they obviously don't have any respect for me as their audience. 

Which is a shame, as I also realise I may be missing out on some good stuff that's buried amongst the fallacies and untruths that they're unwittingly perpetuating, which only serves to contribute to false understanding about what we and others might really be capable of... 

So please - any of you out there who are speakers or headline attractions at events: do us the courtesy of showing that you respect us as your audience and fellow human beings, and do a quick check of your facts before you unwittingly succumb to the illusionary truth effect, and tell us do things based on 'facts' that just aren't true (and never have been).




debunking the 10,000 hours rule - https://www.6seconds.org/2022/06/20/10000-hour-rule/ 

debunking that bumble bees shouldn't be able to fly - https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2013/08/bumblebee-flight-does-not-violate-the-laws-of-physics 

I'm always trying to be a better conman

One of the recurring pieces of feedback I get from many of the people and organisations I've worked with, is how they've enjoyed how the ways in which I've enabled them to create the changes they've struggled to achieve, but always aspired to.

And got me thinking about what the 'secret sauce' is that I always try and use, and bring to every project and contract I'm involved with.

I've realised it's all about my being a con-man:

Con(findence) - modelling behaviours and actions myself, to inspire and encourage others in turn; so that they might be able to reach further than they thought they could, or felt brave enough to.

Con(nections) - we all rely on other people to varying degrees for everything that we want to achieve and enjoy in this life. I'm always happy to share contacts in my network with others to try and create some serendipity whenever and wherever possible. I also recognise that I'm mortal, so at some point, people will need to know who else they might be all to call on in the future... 

Con(viction) - life is hard and unfair. We need to keep finding ways to motivate ourselves, which is why I try and only get involved in work that I think is meaningful in some way, and creates benefit for others. Part of how I work is wanting to find ways to get excited about the things I find myself involved in.

So there it is - I'm a conman, and that's probably a good thing for the people who ask me to share some of their journeys and adventures with them.      

why volunteer as a small business owner?

Being self-employed or a small business is hard.

We're the ones responsible for making sure everything's being taken care of, to resolve all the issues as they arise, and to also make sure the coffee doesn't run out...

We spend more hours working than our salaried counterparts - so from a starting point of being more pressured and having less free time, how could we even consider adding volunteering to our calendars?

Well, various researches show that there are lots of reasons that motivate people to volunteer:

https://www.ncvo.org.uk/news-and-insights/news-index/time-well-spent-employer-supported-volunteering/what-are-the-main-motivations-for-getting-involved-in-esv/#/

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/319067855_What_drives_employees_to_participate_in_corporate_volunteering_programs/link/59fff5b4a6fdcca1f29ef9e6/download

For me, volunteering is something I do through my pro bono work. It's part of my CPD: the opportunity to get involved in projects and activities that I might otherwise not, and in doing so, push my skills and gain new knowledge.

And it's also part of my values: for example, as a member of the Federation of Small Businesses, I try and show solidarity and support and encourage fellow small businesses, through volunteering as a host of one of their networking forums. 

I have an idea that it we're not clear as to why we're doing something before we embark on it, then at best we won't get the most benefit from the experience, and at work - it will be a waste of time.

So if you're thinking about what you might be able to 'give back' through volunteering as a small business/business owner/freelancer/sole trader - it's ok to think about what you might want to get out of the experience, and then to seek out ways that best help you to achieve that.

How long can I keep it up for?

In January 2005 I officially became self-employed. I never meant to be (and still don't), but in seeking to try and make the most of it from every angle, I've committed to a range of ongoing practices - one of which is my annual impact report.

It began in 2006 with 2 throwaway lines on my then CV, and didn't even feature in my blog here until I'd done the 4th one of them!

But over the years, the framework I've created has expanded and evolved so that it's now looked to as a leading example of 'integrated impact reporting'; picked over by people in different countries around the world; and is now starting to increasingly raise questions about/highlight how the context for how I work is changing (and not just because of when I started this, the UN's Global Goals, and letters 'ESG' didn't exist!).

And this years' has already elicited feedback that likens its approach and structure to the professional revalidation that medical practitioners have to undergo every year to prove that they remain safe to care for patients (which I'm taking as a pretty hefty endorsement of it being an excellent way to evidence my CPD*).

However, one of the other early comments that's also come back has particularly struck me - "17 years of impact reporting - that's dedication!"  I've been sharing this 'warts and all' view of how I work, and what happens as a result of it, every year for 17 years.  

I'm not sure I know of any other organisation who's published so many such reports about themselves in this way, so I'm hoping there's someone out there who can 'prove me wrong' and help reassure me that I'm not the 'oldest tool in the bag' when it comes to publishing impact reports on their work?

* In this instance, the letters mean what most people usually associate with them, rather than what I do... 

  

why I always answer "whiskey" when people ask me about how I manage my mental wellbeing

As sole traders and small business owners, it's generally accepted that our mental wellbeing and health is under greater pressure and strain than our salaried counterparts':

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8393630/ 

https://www.vice.com/en/article/avaw7j/freelance-mental-health-self-employed 

One of the outcomes of the Covid pandemic, is that we all suddenly felt we had enough of a shared excuse to start to talk about this more openly and honestly - and having done for so for a year or two, a habit seems to have been established that it's now taken as read that any network, professional body, or business support programme will create space for us to have conversations about the stuff that's going on in our heads.

Inevitably, when such times arise, and I'm in the room (physically or virtually), someone always asks people to share with everyone else what their personal practices are for their mental wellbeing. And once you've been part of a few such conversations, you'll start to spot recurring trends: walking; listening to music; cooking; and such like. 

But my response always seems to shock and stun each such group when it comes to my turn.

I talk about whiskey. 

When I recognise that my anxiety and stress is building, I sometimes pour myself a whiskey - and then see how long I can take to drink it: not in terms of speed, but in terms of the length of time.

You see, a good whiskey is distilled to be savoured and enjoyed slowly: if you drink it too quickly, you miss out on the flavours, aromas, and sensations that people have spent generations developing the skills to impart in these small glasses of amber liquid.

And as most of the other examples people share in how they self-manage their own mental well-being involve practices that force them to slow down, to be more focussed and immersed in a single activity, the way that whiskey is crafted would seem to equally achieve these broad approaches of others' practices. 

A good aged single malt whiskey forces you to do in order to fully appreciate and enjoy it (and with inflation, recession, etc it's getting harder to afford, so I also don't want to squander it!).

But - I'm also keenly aware that for some people, alcohol is not the right solution for them for a number of valid reasons. 

I'm not sharing my love of whiskey here in an attempt to try and encourage people to drink/drink more, but to highlight that in how we manage our mental well-being there are lots of options and ideas you can adopt and try. What works for you, might not work for me, because our respective brains are wired differently to each other (see pic - a scan a few years ago highlighted that there's a slight 'hole' in mine that most other people don't have!)

When we feel overwhelmed and overloaded it can feel easier to 'go with the pack' and do what everyone else does in such times of rising panic. But don't be afraid to experiment and find what works best for you, and when you do - don't feel you should apologise for it because other people don't agree with it: celebrate it and use it to try and help you enjoy the best life you can. 

I'm an onion.

Last year, as part of my ongoing CPD, I asked people what they thought a statue of me should hold in its hand (see https://thirdsectorexpert.blogspot.com/2022/07/molotov-cocktails-jelly-babies-onions.html for the full story...)

And whilst some of the suggestions people made caught me by surprise (such as a Molotov cocktail!), a couple of people suggested an onion.

And one of them added an explanatory note as to why they thought an onion best symbolised me: 

- It has many layers

- It has a heart

- It has a tough skin 

- It is an essential part of the majority of recipes 

- It represents good food and people coming together

- It is versatile 

- If you give it care and attention it becomes sweet and mild (although I'd like to think I'm sweet and mild to begin with?)

- It is a vegetable that is important to all sectors of society

And so I think I'm quite pleased if people see me as an onion.

But what vegetable do people see you as?

How, as freelancers, we sabotage ourselves without realising it

Being self-employed/freelance is often presented as an aspirational lifestyle: with freedom from bosses, the ability to choose more of the work that makes us happy, greater flexibility to work when and how we prefer, and such like.

I'd written elsewhere about some of the downsides to this model of employment (no sick pay, precarious income, etc), but this time I wanted to explore a possible blind spot that many of us haven't thought about which means that we're likely going to trip ourselves up without realising it.

As freelancers and sole traders, we live and work in a bubble.

You may be aware of the risk of 'bubbles' from things you've read about social media: the algorithms show you more of what you like, and so it creates an echo chamber of your own exiting preferences and biases.

And in being self-employed/freelancing, that bubble can easily start to form without our realising it - unlike our salaried counterparts, we don't have any line management, regular appraisal, or desk buddies. These are the people and systems who might help otherwise highlight potential self-limiting beliefs or emergent prejudice within ourselves before they become a major problem.

In the absence of such 'relatively safe' professional challenge to our thinking, it becomes very easy and automatic to start to entrench bad habits and practices, missing opportunities, and not recognising options we otherwise might and should.

Fortunately, the way to mitigate this risk is actually quite easy - we should form and become part of groups that will allow us to share our stories of "is it just me...?", and equally have people who we can trust as our peers, constructively challenge us over our thinking, attitudes, and approaches.

Whilst this may sound like a 'nice to do', surely it's better to identify and 'air any dirty laundry' with friends in private, than publicly with our clients or HMRC, etc?

And the good news is that such places already freely exist - Freelance Heroes, Being Freelance, IAF meetups, etc are all good starting places to start to create ways to have sanity checks for yourself, and to start to create 'accountability buddies': people who can take the place of a missing line-manager in helping you make sure you're actually getting on with those things that you keep saying/meaning to, but somehow never seem to get done... 

saturday night in front of the TV

Those of us of a 'certain age' (older generations) will remember a time before digital and streaming TV services - a time when people would would sit together with their families and friends, with their teas on their laps, watching Saturday night TV together.

We'd laugh and cheer together as contestants and teams undertook increasingly wacky challenges, all of which were compared by a comedian (or would-be comedian...) before an amassed studio audience.

And at the end of the show, the compare/host would turn to the camera to wish us all a good night and wave their farewells as the credits starting to roll and the theme tune played.

It was a shared experience between us at home and those in the studio - we felt connected not just with our immediate family and friends who we'd shared the experience of watching the TV together with, but also a wider kinship with the audience all those miles away: linked by the act of someone waving goodbye to all of us at the same time.

The formality of the goodbyes and physical act of their waving also gave us a sense of closure to that experience. We knew it was concluded and we could go off to the next thing without any FOMO.

And it's why when I've led a group workshop or seminar on a video call, you'll see me grinning and waving at you all as you press the red button to leave the session - I'm trying to help maintain some of these practices I experienced and appreciated whilst growing up, in attempting to contribute to us remaining as 'human' as possible in our relationships with each other in an increasingly digital and physically dispersed world of working and living. After all, if we'd met IRL and were seeing each other off at a train station or driving away, we'd think nothing of waving as we left each others' company, so why not try and keep the habit when we're on screen together?

(but if you're meeting me in a more straightforward meeting on line, don't worry - you won't see me suddenly start to manically grin and wave at you, but rather raise my hand in a Star Trek Vulcan wish. More on that in a previous blog post here:

https://thirdsectorexpert.blogspot.com/2021/08/aping-spock-why-you-see-me-go-star-trek.html)

could legal company forms help protect my mental wellbeing?

The date of my publishing this post on my blog (Oct 10th) marks World Mental Health day - a time when there are floods of other posts, tweets, emails, etc being circulated, so I don't expect that this will catch too many people's attention, but I've always stated that this blog is in part my 'thinking aloud space' - and this post relates to me 'thinking aloud' about an aspect of my mental wellbeing, and how I try and best manage it.

Firstly - as background to to the title of this post, I've always said that I prefer being a sole trader instead of incorporating myself as a limited company (as conventional wisdom would suggest I should). 

This isn't just because I try and be unconventional, but also in remaining a sole trader, I have to pay more tax on my income and earnings that a company director or salaried employee would (and I think that paying tax is actually a good idea). It also means that technically, I've unlimited personal liability - I can't easily "wash my hands" of a problematic contract by simply dissolving a company (in whose name the contract etc, would be, meaning that nothing of the fall out would legally stick to me). As such, it forces me to try and take greater care in how I approach my work and also hopefully sends a message to those I work with that in seeking to establish trust and rapport with them, I'm willing to make myself very vulnerable personally. This element of personal risk is something I also try and further manage through my professional insurance policies, and how I seek to structure and maintain relationships with each person and organisation I find myself working with.

But it's world mental health day, so I'm taking this opportunity to revisit the above position about my not being incorporated to review it from a new perspective - my mental wellbeing.

As a sole trader, parent, carer, etc etc (we all have multiple identities - some of which are more secret than others...), I'm very conscious of trying to best manage my own health and wellbeing, including my mental health. And this list of roles I hold each brings its own tensions, stresses, anxieties, etc that aren't always easy to 'turn off' - but I've always sought to harness what some might see as negative or harmful emotional states that arise from them, to generate responses that help motivate and keep me moving forwards.  

Now, from time to time, I try and take stock of how I'm doing in managing the above - always with a view to trying to see if there might be ways to change a practice or habit that could help  further mitigate or reduce a recognised stressor in/on myself.

And it's the idea of company forms that I'm currently trying to consider to this end - a limited company exists as a 'person' separate to me. It's therefore that person, not me, who would sign contracts, agree terms and conditions, etc - so in the event of the worst coming to pass in my delivering a piece of work (the client decides to sue me), then I could give notice of dissolving the company, and not be concerned about the spectre of potential personal bankruptcy.

However... that's something of a 'nuclear option': I'd only be able to use this fall back position once, because if so 'activated' in that worst case scenario, then all my other business activities linked and associated to and through the company would also cease to be.  And if I then recontacted everyone in my current/original guise of being a sole trader, it would look like I was trying to duck responsibilities, be unethical, and generally exhibit the sort of behaviours that as a society, we decry when we see some larger corporates doing...

And then there's the question of how I'd mitigate the risk that having such a legally distanced structured from the people I'm working with might mean in terms of my becoming complacent in my relationships with them - one of the main reasons I'm currently maintaining my status as a sole trader.

 

So, on balance, I'm not sure that having identified this option I can actually adopt it - in theory it would offer me an assurance against the 'worst case scenario', and so help reduce a stressor and anxiety. But in practice if I ever needed to enact it, it would mean that I'd have to shut all my work down and not be able to easily restart working in the way I am now - in much the same way that if I were sued as a sole trader (and my insurance providers felt I'd not acted with sufficient degree of professional conduct with the upset client in order to cover the claim), I'd not be able to easily restart working in the way I am now. 

'Killing' a company that I owned could also impact on my personal credit rating (in the same way that getting personally sued might also) - so that consideration also balances itself out.

  

But it's an interesting perspective on the question that every sole trader and freelancer faces at some point - of whether to incorporate themselves as a limited company; but from a very different starting point. A perspective that seems timely with it being world mental health day.

However, as will all of my 'thinking aloud' posts that I make here in this blog, I'd be interested and keen to hear what holes people might be able to pick in my above 'workings out', and if there's anything that I've missed in thinking this through?  

Molotov cocktails, jelly babies, onions, and handfuls of sand - how people I work with really see me...

As part of my ongoing CPD*, I commit to an adapted360-degree feedback process on myself every couple of years. But instead of sending out questionnaires or survey forms, I ask people 1 question – this year, that question was

“if there was to be a statue made of me, what would you expect to see it holding in its hand?”

People offered a wide range of accessories, but all seem to relate to two themes:

* My playful nature, and encouragement that we should all try to find more moments of enjoyment in what we do;

* My desire to encourage and support others in their journeys and roles.

This seems to be aptly illustrated by the most commonly referenced items being a fez, and my book on imposter syndrome.

 

However, there was also a wide of other creative ideas, and I felt it only proper to share these on, to see if people feel these might also be fitting decorations to a form of me:

- lego bricks

- a business award

- Post it notes

- sand (because it represents my being able to hold lots of tiny details which most others can’t retain)

- a light sabre

- jelly babies

- a cup of water (because its essential, life affirming, and bountiful – although personally I’d prefer it to have been a glass of whiskey…)

- weird glasses (to convey my ‘quirkiness’)

- a rubicks cube (which co-incidentally I have a lego version of one)

- a Molotov cocktail (because I make very policy-based subjects incredibly entertaining and, drawing comparison with the revolutionary symbol of the Molotov, I’ve been unafraid to do this by myself for almost 20 years.

- a fedora (don’t worry Tony Robinson, you’ll always be the king of the fedora for me!)

- a sealed envelope with all the answers inside (not for me to give to you, but to encourage you that there are answers that are right for you, and I’ll help you work through things to get to yours in the end)

- someone else’s hand (to illustrate my helping other people)

- an onion (because it has many layers, it has a heart, it has a tough skin, it is essential to most recipes, it represents the coming together of good food and good people, it is versatile, it is important to all sectors of society)

But one person’s response described a vista, that’s making me think that I should be considering a portrait, rather than a statute:

"If there was ever a statue to be made of the coolest consultant in town, I would imagine it would resemble the eternal image I have etched into my hippocampus of Adrian, it would be one of a man wearing a red fez hat standing proudly on top of a really complicated looking but easily assembled lego structure holding a magnifying glass as he examines a thin green book!!....an eccentric who finds solutions to the most complicated of conundrums with supernatural attention to detail, the man the myth the legend that is Adrian Ashton"

 

And the idea of a portrait might also help resolve another conundrum about my being ‘statue-d’ I’d not considered: someone asked what it would be cast in: gilt, marble, iron or papier mâché; and if it would be life size or larger than life?

*CPD = not what you think it stands for...

why, as a freelancer I'm paying to offset my carbon footprint

My recently published impact report on myself introduced something new for the first time in the 16 years I've been doing it - commitments and targets to revisit and report against in next years (which will be due sometime in April 2023: watch out for the #AAimpact23 tag!).

Around this time I've also been leading a bootcamp for businesses who were wanting to do more around their environmental impact. And whilst they all started that journey thinking it would be the carbon footprint of their products, they all started to realise that in some instances the way that they ran their businesses was having a biggest cost to the environment than what they were selling to their customers.

And these two things came together around one of the KPIs in my impact reporting framework (which has also been one of the first measures I started using all those years ago...) - trying to consider my impact on the natural environment by tracking how far I've been able to avoid needing to make journeys 'in physical person', and so avoiding adding pollution from not needing to burn the fossil fuels that go into the petrol tank of a car, and the diesel for a train.

I've reflected on one of the unexpected outcomes of this practices and indicator in a previous blog - but I've caught myself increasingly asking 'so what?', against this measure: what's the point of measuring something if we don't do anything with the number it gives us (other than stroking our ego and vanity)?

So to this end, I've decided to use this metric to help me calculate the carbon footprint I'm creating when I can't avoid having to make physical travel to a client to deliver workshops, facilitate meetings, and such like. And with that tonnage figure, I'm then going to offset the carbon I've created by purchasing 'carbon credits' that can be used to invest in different projects and initiatives to try and 'rebalance the scales'.

But even now - so what? I'm a sole trader, and it's unlikely that the carbon footprint I generate from business travel will amount to anything remotely approaching significance in the context of other business'; and by association, what I'll pay to rebalance it will seem paltry in a global scale. So why should I bother? It'll only cost me more as a business, and won't have any meaningful impact on the environment.

The point, dear reader, is this - if we don't each take a stand and start to model the behaviours that we want to try and encourage and challenge others over in seeing a better world come about, then what credibility do we have to bemoan the state of the world? If we don't 'walk the talk', why should anyone else? And ultimately, if we resign ourselves to the mindset of "I'm too small to make any meaningful difference", just remember what's possible when 1 person stands up - it can inspire others to do the same, and so sooner or later, change happens. 

So in hopes of encouraging and challenging others in this endeavour, I'm going to start adding a rider to my client invoices and proposals: "any physical travel involved in the delivery of this work has been carbon offset at my cost as part of my commitment to helping to sustain our world for ourselves and future generations."  

how offering pro bono can help us reduce our risk of burnout

With 51% of small businesses owners experiencing burnout since the pandemic started, what should we be doing that we currently aren't to help us better look after ourselves?

In conversations like these around self-managing our personal well-being, there’s often a tacit assumption that balancing looking after ourselves means we have to somehow separate ourselves from the ‘good work’ that we strive to do (or at least, strive to get paid for!), and, in the words of Monty Python, do something completely different.

But what if doing more of what we currently do in the ‘day job’ might actually help us better look after ourselves?

I’ve been reflecting recently with other people about how I approach and ‘balance’ my pro bono work as a sole trader with the need to make sure I keep earning enough cash to keep the rent paid.

Because if we don’t get this trade off between ‘work and love’ working properly, we either find ourselves homeless (evicted after non-rent payments because we didn’t do enough  paid work in favour of our pro bono offers), overwhelmed by guilt at not doing more when we feel we should/could (not feeling able to turn people away who we know we could have helped, but couldn’t otherwise pay us), or trying to satisfy all these demands on ourselves and then seeing the ‘lights go out’.

And the way I try and get it right is through the following approaches:

• Offering pro bono through structured volunteering programmes: that way there’s someone half keeping an eye on how much I’m doing, and trying to make sure I don’t get overloaded with requests. It also means that there’s also someone I can semi-regularly check-in with to make sure I’m also feeling ok with it all.

• Tracking the time I spend on pro bono and monetising this: I can then compare this figure to my overall paid earnings. It’s a tidy check-sum as I’ve a target percentage in my mind as to how much I should be ‘gifting’ through my pro bono work.

• Reflecting with others on how they’re thinking about it and their approaches (all my fellow Club members whom I’ve already been having conversations with about this - it wasn’t all one-way!)

• And ultimately, trying to accept the truth that however superhuman we might otherwise see or wish ourselves to be, we can’t save everyone.

But I’ve also been exploring my motivations, and the benefits I get from such apparent altruistic service to others.

Whilst there’s a host of other benefits that I could wax lyrical about, something I learnt very early on while offering pro bono is that removing the payment part of the relationship with a group (or person) radically changes how I perceive the dynamic - rather than constantly reminding myself that I need to keep this project moving along in order to be able to get paid (the starting point of the client relationship), I’m instead finding that I’m coming to the project as an equal to the people involved, and much more open to learning with them as we progress. It’s easier to work at a more relaxed, natural pace, and there’s more enjoyment to be had in the time I’m spending with these people and their communities, because I’m not worried about having to ‘watch a clock’ for billing hours.

We don’t often think that the pro bono we offer is a way through which we can take better care of ourselves. I’ve found it a good tonic for refreshing my passion for what I do, having been able to immerse and indulge myself in doing it purely for the love of it, rather than as a means to an end (in this case, making sure the rent gets paid next month).

to best look after ourselves, we should stop listening to other people's advice on how to it

After my recent "is it just me..?" rant on YouTube about how it costs us self-employed freelance types more to access the same health and well-being supports than our employed counterparts, I started to think a bit more widely on how we might rethink looking after ourselves.

“Putting your needs as priority is not just a nice to have but a necessity if you want to continue doing the good work you set out to do.“ - that’s a statement we’ll all have heard at some point, and found ourselves agreeing with, but likely then struggling to figure out how we actually best manage that.

And whilst for some, we’ll be doing that ‘good work’ as part of a salaried role, for others it’s a core defining feature that informs how we approach everything in our work and lives. And that starts to make it hard when looking at other people’s examples of how they’ve created their ‘perfect balance’* to inform our own approach. (What also makes it harder is that if we’re part of the 4.5 million self-employed, the tax system means it costs us more to invest in our own well-being than our salaried counterparts have to pay for the same activity…)

But I don’t think we should be focussing on creating the perfect ratio of client work, meditating, eating kale, walking the dog, and/or taking holidays in vineyards to ensure we’re best looking after ourselves. The world we live in, and our own personal and family circumstances are constantly changing, so perhaps the ways in which we seek those recharging times/moments should also? 

• Why not start to allow ourselves to be properly invigorated by the outcomes of the ‘good work’ we’re doing? Share in the stories with clients as to the positive outcomes we’ve helped create for people, communities, and the planet in the weeks after we’ve completed our assignments with them (also a good way to potentially generate some new introductions and prospects for repeat business if nothing else!)
• Instead of fixing hard times each day/week for specific activities, try and use spontaneity and serendipity to show yourself some love: as Agent Cooper of the FBI once said, “every day, once a day, give yourself a present (but don’t plan it)”**
• And as much as it’s cliched, find ways to share your stories, frustrations, and hopes with other people who really get what it’s like to run the type of venture you do. We can’t wave a magic wand for you (although, I have do have a magic wand that I use from time to time), but the act of vocalising the stuff in our heads, hearts, and guts, has a way of either giving it the power it needs, or reducing the power it has over us.

Ultimately, this is a theme that loads of other people have/are/will write about, and the subject of countless books, podcasts, and TED talks. All of which will be useful for someone (usually the person who created them), but those people aren’t you - and only you will know what works best for you in helping you not ‘see the lights go out’. What works for you will be right for you - try out different things, be kind to yourself if none of them seem to work to begin with; keep trying until you find those things that were always meant for you.

Perhaps the hardest part in all of this though, is that YOU have to make the decision to invest in looking after yourself. And that’s probably the hardest part of figuring out how to look after yourself when we see the need around us that others are constantly struggling with. It took me over 20 years to be OK with allowing myself to be ‘selfish’ from time to time. Hopefully it won’t ever be that long for anyone else.

*the ‘perfect balance’ only ever exists in Instagram posts

** If you don’t recognise this quote or the Agent’s name, then go and binge watch Twin Peaks as soon as you can